On thinking things couldn't get any worse

As well as not taking into account how well my brain would work in the last 6 weeks it appears I hadn't taken into account how well my body would work.  Yesterday (Friday the 3rd) was to be my last day at work.  I was really looking forward to getting a chance to say goodbye to some of my favourite customers.  Sadly, I missed that opportunity.  After having a difficult second to last day at work, I spent Thursday night in Waitakere Hospital.

After a few hours at work I started getting intermittent pains which felt just like someone had punched me in the crotch -strong to the point of leaving me doubled over in pain, or unable to stand, but gone within 10 seconds or so.  After tracking the regularity of the pain, I had a brief look on some pregnancy forums as to what contractions feel like (I've never even had Braxton Hicks).  Although some people described theirs similarly to the pain I was experiencing, it definitely didn't seem the norm.  I called Murray at work and let him know, and left a non-urgent message with my Midwife.  They were happening about every 15 minutes, so I calculated how many more I'd have to tolerate through the workday, and figured I could handle working the rest of the day.

After almost two hours, they stopped.  My Midwife called me back, said it didn't sound like contractions, but to let her know if anything else changed.  Murray was going to pick me up from work to save me the pain of public transport.  Shortly before I finished work, the pubic pain was back but constant.  My uterus had also started contracting intermittently (usually painlessly), which I hadn't had happen before, and my belly position had noticeably changed.  I got in the car and as soon as I sat down I had that feeling of the onset of cystitis (fiery pain in urethra).  That car ride home was one of the most painful 40 minutes of my life - worse than travelling with a broken ankle whilst in shock.  It felt like cystitis coupled with someone punching me in the pubis, made worse by the baby moving like mad because of contractions and the movement increasing pubic pain.

Poor Murray!  I was yelling at him 'if this is what the rest of pregnancy's going to be like, I can't do it.  And if this is labour, I need an epidural.'  I was freaking out, because given the sudden onset and the level of pain, I had assumed it must be labour.  I've read and learned a LOT about labour, and this wasn't following any of the rules - particularly the rule of 'contractions will come, and they will go' - I was in constant pain.  All the breathing methods I'd learned pushed my diaphragm down which put more pressure on my pubic bone.  So I was feeling pretty helpless, sore and claustrophobic being trapped in a car on the motorway during peak hour traffic.

As soon as I got home I went straight to the toilet as felt (like with cystitis) the pain would lessen if I could only pee.  I was right.  Murray ran a bath while I sat on the toilet and told him to page my Midwife and bring me Panadol.  We waited to call her when I was calmer - even when the Panadol and bath kicked in things felt wrong.  After talking to her on the phone she said it probably was a urinary tract infection.  From my midwife I learned these are notorious for starting contractions and sometimes pre-term labour, so we had to go straight to hospital for monitoring.  This made me feel slightly relieved, as the level of pain and discomfort I was in surely couldn't be just a 'normal' side effect of pregnancy.  I don't know what I would have done to cope if I had to just stay home.

At hospital I was put on a foetal monitor and I was having regular, small and mostly pain free contractions - probably just Braxton Hicks but disconcerting seeing as I hadn't had them before.  The baby was fine.  I knew this would be the case because she had kicked the crap out of me all day.  The contractions obviously upset her, but not enough to hurt her.  I had some other tests and it was assumed it was a UTI so was given antibiotics, and had to stay overnight for observation and more monitoring.  It was my first time staying in Waitakere Hospital, and their rooms are wonderful - I had a whole room to myself.  And had I been in less pain, I probably would have slept ok.  The midwives and Drs there were great, and the next day my physio even visited me to schedule my next appointment. 

For us, it was a great dry run to hospital.  I am so glad I packed my hospital bags months ago as it meant we just grabbed them and put them into the car in case I needed them - which I did.  So I had toiletries and comfy clothes and even chocolate on hand.  We now know that when it's not peak hour, we can get to hospital in 10 minutes.  This is really handy to know.

After some more monitoring and another internal exam to check my cervix (very sore) it was decided I could go home around midday Friday.  My cervix wasn't dilated, but there had been some changes.  My Midwife wasn't sure if I was going to go into labour, or if the contractions would just slowly die off - either way, I would be better off at home.  I had contractions right up until today, and they've steadily grown less and less which is great.  Even if your contractions aren't labour related, they are exhausting.  And after over 36 hours of contractions, I feel wiped out and very hungry!

While it's great that contractions have settled, I've discovered I have a new wonderful pregnancy condition - SPD.  This was to be expected with the hip issues I've had, but it feels different to how I imagined.  Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction is another relaxin related bitch of a thing.  This is what has been causing the punched-in-the-crotch pain, which is by far worse than any other pain I've had.  I'm assuming this suddenly got worse on Thursday as with everything that was going on, my belly dropped again, so there will be more pressure than ever on my pubic area.  Unfortunately for some women, this level of pain is just there until they deliver.  I hope that's not me.  When I read that on a forum I cried.

I will be seeing my physio on Wednesday, so hopefully she can help a little.  Swimming is recommended, so I do plan on continuing with that as much as possible.  Currently, the pain is so bad I am having difficulty walking much more than around the house - and even that is hard.  So am now totally reliant on help to get to things like swimming and physio which sucks a big kumara, but is doable. 

While pregnancy really sucks now, and I just want it to end, I'm hoping we make it to 37 weeks.  This will mean better labour options for me, and lower health risks for our baby.  Thinking you might be in labour also makes you realise how unprepared you are.  There are still a few things that need sorting before she gets here.  To be honest though, I don't think I'll ever really feel prepared.  Even hearing the babies cry in hospital made me wonder 'what the hell am I doing?'

I can't remember if I've said this before, if so, I'll say it again: I am not going through this pregnancy dealio again.  I honestly don't think it makes sense to volunteer for this whilst having to look after an existing child - it's hard enough coping with no kids.  We'd love to have siblings for this baby-to-be, but after weighing things up I'm just not finding pregnancy (in this body) a very feasible method by which to procure them.  Keep us in mind if you get accidentally knocked up though - we'll totally whangai your baby!*

*Although I'm sure after reading all my blog posts you'll probably not think that wise... But if you do, we're totally keen to raise your baby (unless we already have a magical bonus baby somehow).