So I put my big girl pants on - sent my CV out, filled out a form and sat through one 3 minute interview and lo and behold - I am now a working Mum.
When I decided it was time to go back to work I also made the decision that it wouldn't be a career move for me. Since Mumhood my brain feels a bit shattered. As it is, I don't remember the last time I had a five hour solid stretch of sleep. I think there's been one since Abby was born almost 18 months ago - but I can't remember when. So taking on something really meaningful and important is not something I felt quite ready to do.
I also wanted to work close to home. Having previously had a small commute to Pt Chev for my dream easy job (Video Ezy Pt Chev RIP) I felt that it was in mine, and my families best interests that I work closer. Cos with double the children there is double the chance of needing to rush back because of spew, coughs, temps, falls or radioactive spider bites. And given we live a mere 20 minute walk from Westcity Mall and I'm filled to the brim with retail experience, it made sense to look for something there.
I never heard back from the first few places I dropped my updated CV into after seeing ads on Trademe (your loss Hush Puppies and that other place I can't even remember). And as there was no real hurry for me to return to work I just sat on my hands for a bit.
Then one day I was having a Mummy-Etta date at the mall and happened to run into my Mother In Law. She informed me that there were pasta machines on sale for $15 in Stevens and she would gladly watch Etta for a few minutes while I went to get one - if I wanted to (which I did) - because she knows I like making pasta. After waiting in the longest queue ever for my machine of pastariffic joy, and receiving many comments from fellow shoppers in the line ('How do you just buy one thing at a sale?') I finally paid for my machine and noticed a sign on the counter offering part time work.
Whilst that time was clearly not the best to inquire further, I perused the sale again a few days later and asked about the position. The lady who is now my manager printed me out an application form which I dropped back a few days later. Then after going through credit and security checks I got the green light - I was a Stevens employee.
They funniest part of me ending up working for Stevens is this:
Younger Hannah was banned from Stevens.
It was a self enforced ban. It was placed on me by me for my own good. Some women buy clothes they don't need. I buy kitchen things I don't need. I'm just a sucker for kitchen porn. And Stevens had the shiniest and glassiest and prettiest and on saliest things of them all. Younger Hannah recognised that was not good for her or her bank account and promptly put a stop to it.*
Buying that pasta machine is the first thing I'd bought from Stevens in probably 10 years.
So how is working life as a Mum of two kids?
The best part is that it enforces time away from the kids, which I sorely needed. Being a SAHM can make you go stir crazy. And for someone with an existing mental health diagnosis, being stir crazy is not really something to aim for. Just being able to be an adult who can pee alone and have grown up conversations and not have to carry a flailing screaming toddler around for a few hours a week makes a massive difference.
The next best (and most obvious) part is that we have a bit more money. With me returning to work in a low income position we really had to do some math and balance out exactly how much I'd have to work to make it feasible (too little and we're better off getting our WFF tax credits, too much and it interferes with how much time I want to spend with the kids). I was very lucky to find a job with pretty much the right balance - so it means we do have a little extra each week which takes the pressure off everyone a little.
The other part, that I hadn't really expected, was finding a new community outside of my home. I am very used to working alone. Well, not totally alone cos customers but, you know, a numero uno sole staff person thing. At Stevens, whilst I do work sole charge sometimes, I usually don't. And while our team at Stevens is small (5 permanent staff), the team at Farmers isn't (our store is a store within a store**). So I get to work with and see lots of lovely people every day. And whilst thinking I might be the odd one out of our little team (manager is older than me but all other staff MUCH younger) that just hasn't been the case. Despite my lack of knowledge of current culture, I seem to get along ok with everyone. I even go out to pub quiz with a small Farmers/Stevens team once a week. It's fantastic.
The only issue is that old chestnut of finding the balance of how much to work. As we've had some big changes at our store since I started, there have been a lot more hours come up that I could work if I want. Which means more money which is always helpful. But also means more time away from the kids. I think we've found the working balance of the maximum I can work without tipping things over at home***. But I know how hard it can be to enforce this.
Especially because time away from the kids is a little like crack. After a few days of it I can see why some people might actually prefer to work than be home with the kids. Whilst I love my kids to bits they can drive me a little nuts. Going to work feels a bit like having a holiday from being at home. Honestly, when I'm sick I'd prefer to be at work because I get more rest there than at home.
Do I worry about the kids when I'm at work? Not really, because we have a crack team of co-parent and Grandparents on the case. And me working gives them time to build better one on one relationships with each other. Which I think is important. I was lucky to grow up living with one set of my Grandparents at varying points in time. The skills and knowledge I learned from these times was priceless. This is a gift I'd love for my kids to have too.
The only real con of working is that I neglect writing posts. Truly, there are so many half finished posts jammed up in editing that I just haven't had the brain to finish. I want them to be out there. I have important things to say dagnabbit! And one day I might actually start getting some sleep and then BAM - posts galore. And then who knows what else I'll achieve with this brain of mine?****
* Even Younger Hannah banned me from buying cookbooks. In my early 20's I had a sort out once and realised I had over 40 of them. Since then I have never bought myself a cookbook. Seriously, it's been about 15 years. I was going to make an exception for my previous boss and friend Sarah King's book because - well - that was a bit different. But I was lucky enough to be gifted one by Sarah so I actually didn't break that ban even then.
** Stevens and Farmers are both owned by JPL Group Ltd. The decision for Stevens to move inside Farmers (which happened about four years ago) at Westcity was because of money/rent pay-the-bills based decisions - it ended up being an arrangement beneficial to both parties (but mostly Stevens) and hey, all owned by the same peoples anyway. For me, it means I have the benefit of working within a small team under the infrastructure of a large company which is kind of the best of both worlds (I don't ever have to fix computers! Yay!)
*** If I'm away too much the kids start acting out, and no amount of money is enough to compensate me for a tantrumming Etta. So if I can avoid pushing them to this point as much as I can then I will. It makes us all happier in the long run.
**** What my brain will probably actually realise is that if I want to live in pyjamas I have to continue to appear like someone who doesn't actually sleep. So maybe it'll just have that realisation and that'll be it. The rest of my brain will be dedicated to raising the kids, crafting Excel spreadsheets and splicing and creating new roses. In my pyjamas. Of course.
When I decided it was time to go back to work I also made the decision that it wouldn't be a career move for me. Since Mumhood my brain feels a bit shattered. As it is, I don't remember the last time I had a five hour solid stretch of sleep. I think there's been one since Abby was born almost 18 months ago - but I can't remember when. So taking on something really meaningful and important is not something I felt quite ready to do.
The unedited me-right-now pic. This is the face of a person not ready for a career.
Or willing to wear pants for more than three days a week.
Or willing to wear pants for more than three days a week.
I never heard back from the first few places I dropped my updated CV into after seeing ads on Trademe (your loss Hush Puppies and that other place I can't even remember). And as there was no real hurry for me to return to work I just sat on my hands for a bit.
Then one day I was having a Mummy-Etta date at the mall and happened to run into my Mother In Law. She informed me that there were pasta machines on sale for $15 in Stevens and she would gladly watch Etta for a few minutes while I went to get one - if I wanted to (which I did) - because she knows I like making pasta. After waiting in the longest queue ever for my machine of pastariffic joy, and receiving many comments from fellow shoppers in the line ('How do you just buy one thing at a sale?') I finally paid for my machine and noticed a sign on the counter offering part time work.
Whilst that time was clearly not the best to inquire further, I perused the sale again a few days later and asked about the position. The lady who is now my manager printed me out an application form which I dropped back a few days later. Then after going through credit and security checks I got the green light - I was a Stevens employee.
They funniest part of me ending up working for Stevens is this:
Younger Hannah was banned from Stevens.
It was a self enforced ban. It was placed on me by me for my own good. Some women buy clothes they don't need. I buy kitchen things I don't need. I'm just a sucker for kitchen porn. And Stevens had the shiniest and glassiest and prettiest and on saliest things of them all. Younger Hannah recognised that was not good for her or her bank account and promptly put a stop to it.*
Buying that pasta machine is the first thing I'd bought from Stevens in probably 10 years.
The kitchen porn specialists. A dangerous place.
So how is working life as a Mum of two kids?
The best part is that it enforces time away from the kids, which I sorely needed. Being a SAHM can make you go stir crazy. And for someone with an existing mental health diagnosis, being stir crazy is not really something to aim for. Just being able to be an adult who can pee alone and have grown up conversations and not have to carry a flailing screaming toddler around for a few hours a week makes a massive difference.
The next best (and most obvious) part is that we have a bit more money. With me returning to work in a low income position we really had to do some math and balance out exactly how much I'd have to work to make it feasible (too little and we're better off getting our WFF tax credits, too much and it interferes with how much time I want to spend with the kids). I was very lucky to find a job with pretty much the right balance - so it means we do have a little extra each week which takes the pressure off everyone a little.
The other part, that I hadn't really expected, was finding a new community outside of my home. I am very used to working alone. Well, not totally alone cos customers but, you know, a numero uno sole staff person thing. At Stevens, whilst I do work sole charge sometimes, I usually don't. And while our team at Stevens is small (5 permanent staff), the team at Farmers isn't (our store is a store within a store**). So I get to work with and see lots of lovely people every day. And whilst thinking I might be the odd one out of our little team (manager is older than me but all other staff MUCH younger) that just hasn't been the case. Despite my lack of knowledge of current culture, I seem to get along ok with everyone. I even go out to pub quiz with a small Farmers/Stevens team once a week. It's fantastic.
The only issue is that old chestnut of finding the balance of how much to work. As we've had some big changes at our store since I started, there have been a lot more hours come up that I could work if I want. Which means more money which is always helpful. But also means more time away from the kids. I think we've found the working balance of the maximum I can work without tipping things over at home***. But I know how hard it can be to enforce this.
Especially because time away from the kids is a little like crack. After a few days of it I can see why some people might actually prefer to work than be home with the kids. Whilst I love my kids to bits they can drive me a little nuts. Going to work feels a bit like having a holiday from being at home. Honestly, when I'm sick I'd prefer to be at work because I get more rest there than at home.
Just remember: this is called parenting, not babysitting.
Actually, this is called eating noodles.
Actually, this is called eating noodles.
Do I worry about the kids when I'm at work? Not really, because we have a crack team of co-parent and Grandparents on the case. And me working gives them time to build better one on one relationships with each other. Which I think is important. I was lucky to grow up living with one set of my Grandparents at varying points in time. The skills and knowledge I learned from these times was priceless. This is a gift I'd love for my kids to have too.
The only real con of working is that I neglect writing posts. Truly, there are so many half finished posts jammed up in editing that I just haven't had the brain to finish. I want them to be out there. I have important things to say dagnabbit! And one day I might actually start getting some sleep and then BAM - posts galore. And then who knows what else I'll achieve with this brain of mine?****
* Even Younger Hannah banned me from buying cookbooks. In my early 20's I had a sort out once and realised I had over 40 of them. Since then I have never bought myself a cookbook. Seriously, it's been about 15 years. I was going to make an exception for my previous boss and friend Sarah King's book because - well - that was a bit different. But I was lucky enough to be gifted one by Sarah so I actually didn't break that ban even then.
** Stevens and Farmers are both owned by JPL Group Ltd. The decision for Stevens to move inside Farmers (which happened about four years ago) at Westcity was because of money/rent pay-the-bills based decisions - it ended up being an arrangement beneficial to both parties (but mostly Stevens) and hey, all owned by the same peoples anyway. For me, it means I have the benefit of working within a small team under the infrastructure of a large company which is kind of the best of both worlds (I don't ever have to fix computers! Yay!)
*** If I'm away too much the kids start acting out, and no amount of money is enough to compensate me for a tantrumming Etta. So if I can avoid pushing them to this point as much as I can then I will. It makes us all happier in the long run.
**** What my brain will probably actually realise is that if I want to live in pyjamas I have to continue to appear like someone who doesn't actually sleep. So maybe it'll just have that realisation and that'll be it. The rest of my brain will be dedicated to raising the kids, crafting Excel spreadsheets and splicing and creating new roses. In my pyjamas. Of course.
