Thursday 29 August 2013

On 'Nesting'

     A shelf!  It wasn't there before...  Easier to install than making a baby that's for sure!

I didn't do the whole 'nesting' thing when I was pregnant.  I felt like crap for most of my pregnancy.  I found out I was pregnant a week after having abdominal surgery, so early on in my pregnancy I couldn't even do many simple things.  And from five months in I had hip dysplasia, so cleaning like vacuuming and mopping weren't an option, let alone scrubbing floors, laying gardens or painting a baby's room.  The day before Etta was born I wiped down and tidied our coffee and tea shelves.  And earlier that week I picked up the carseat (thank goodness) and done a larger-than-normal grocery shop with help from my Mum.  That was my pregnancy 'nesting' spree.

And immediately after Etta was born I was recovering from another surgery.  So, again, 'nesting' wasn't really on the cards.  I had difficulty even managing the basics of looking after Etta - so anything requiring more energy than that was a no go.  And with her being a little early, from the outside looking in it would have seemed there was a lot to do.  There was a cot still in pieces.  There was no walking room in the 'baby' room.  Nothing was decorated.  Nothing was baby proofed.  But when we brought her home, we realised pretty quickly that none of that stuff really mattered.  We had a carseat to take her home in, we had a basinette for her to sleep in, we had nappies and clothes and food for us to eat - you honestly don't need to be much more organised than that*.

And while I recovered from surgery and got used to being a new Mum, that stuff still didn't matter.  But once I became comfortable in the role of stay-at-home-Mum and was no longer paranoid that my baby would die if I stopped watching her, I became super conscious of what needed doing around the house.  The nesting bug had finally arrived!  It had very little to do with the baby though.

Being home most of the time makes you hyper aware of the space you live in.  And given time and a little boredom, it was a no brainer that at some point I'd try to improve it.  Our kitchen finally got the extra shelves I've been meaning to put up for herbs and spices - they aren't installed well, but they're sturdy and they work.  Our TV has (finally) been centred.  Our window seat has been cleared of junk and soon I'll be installing hooks to put our hat collection up on the wall.  At some point in time, for possibly the first time in my life, my living room might not be cluttered.

Most parents would be fussing over the baby's room.  But for now, Etta sleeps in our room, so her room is only used for changing her and storage.  Most 'proper' nursery's make me want to puke.  We grew up in rentals, so even painting a room was not an option - if you had your own room, that was awesome.  And I've always avoided babies like the plague, so pastel painted baby centric spaces are completely unfamiliar territory to me.  Pastels?  Blaaagh!  White everything (outside of gallery space)?  Blaaagh!  Themed anything?  Are you kidding?  It's not for me.  Etta's room is getting new Hannah-treated (dyed and painted) curtains, and an edging supplied from my wallpaper collection.  Her room has a BUTTLOAD of fabulous, bright, child friendly artwork from fabulous artists in it.  It doesn't need anything else, besides which there's no rush - she isn't even going to be living in there for at least another three months.

 My main baby 'nesting' has been sorting her clothes as she grows into and out of things.  I've worked out that at this age babies need very little in the way of clothing.  All she needs is three sleep suits (changing into bed clothes are part of our bedtime routine), three pairs of leggings, three merinos, three or four day changes, some warm things, socks and hats.  We have a proper dresser for her, and were given so much clothing that both it, and her wardrobe was full!  I've culled it back to what we need and we've given/are giving the rest away.  Less clothes means washing/dressing/organising is so much easier, and I don't believe in treating babies like living dolls anyway, so it just seems sensible.  There is so much room in the dresser now that we have everything in the next size up in the bottom drawers so we can work out what we want from that lot when she grows into it, and will cull the rest.

The other thing I've culled are her toys...  We've selected a few age appropriate things to keep out.  All the excess (oversized) soft toys - including many I've made in my past life as a knitting/designer will go to live in a brightly coloured Tibetan tent given us by a friend, which is to be tidily suspended from her ceiling.**  But seriously, babies don't need much besides loving parents, and it's important for us that Etta learns values outside of consumerism and materiality.  And I don't want to spend my future days tripping over and picking up hundreds of unnecessary, seldom played with toys.

And we're culling our things too.  I made Murray sort through his clothes the other day and get rid of everything he didn't fit or didn't wear.  It was a revelation to him - he's never done it.  He reckons he still had every pair of jeans he'd ever bought - not any more!  We have so much more room in the closet and he rediscovered a couple of items he didn't even know he had.  I try and do this myself every six months or so.

It's going to take some time but one day, maybe even this year our entire house will be decluttered.  I'm hoping we manage this before Etta learns how to walk, as the less stuff we have out, the less destruction will be left in her wake.  And the less random things about, the less likely she is going to be to choke on them.  I guess at the end of the day, it is all about the baby after all.  But as a new Mum pretty much everything in my life is...

* You don't really need the basinette either - you can easily sleep your baby in a box, or a drawer - check out the awesome pack new Mum's get in Finland from the government.

** This in itself, is the PERFECT small baby toy.  Brightly coloured, covered in mirrors and suspended from the ceiling, no baby could help but stare at it.



                                     Etta in our newly tidied window seat with friends.