On Taking a Holiday

 Toffee art = YUM!

Firstly, this 100 days of art is great!  It's not that easy, but I have done something every day and am so glad about this as it makes me feel that it's actually completely plausible for me to run a house, work and possibly work on small art projects.  Neato!  Nearly two weeks down and time is flying by.

Secondly, it's helped me realise how important it is to take time out for myself and my own personal ventures.  I am very lucky and have a large group of friends and whanau. T his is a double edged sword of fantastic support and help when it's most needed, but also having many people to spend time with.  I wouldn't give it away for anything in the world, but as I've said so many times before, I need to get better at boundary setting for sanity's sake.

So I've decided that next week I'm on holiday.  I will not be flying out to Hawaii or anywhere exotic like that.  In fact, I will not be going anywhere.  I will be at home.  And I am going to keep our week planner completely free.  I am putting a proviso in for a catch up with my best Mum friends (and probably my best friend) and usual time with my Mum on Thursday.  But that's it.  Other than that, I'm a free (and solo) agent.  And I will be keeping it that way.

I guess holiday time really means family time.  Some weeks we spend so much of our time catching up with other people, or preparing to catch up with other people that we barely get proper time to spend with Etta or each other.  I don't want to end up working full time and suddenly realising I didn't use my SAHM time how I should have.  This time is flying by, and I won't be able to stay home with Etta forever - I need to appreciate it, and my time with her, while I can.

I know I totally sound like I'm whinging over nothing, should be thankful for what I have etc.  And I am thankful.  But I need to be better at putting myself, and my family first.  This is what my week entailed last week:

Monday: Cleaning day.  Visit from friend.  Murray out at games so I do all Etta stuff plus cook dinner etc

Tuesday: Visit from Mum after her first day at uni and craft night with girlfriends.

Wednesday: Visit from friend and Etta's friend.  Takeaways (yay)

Thursday: Washing day, visit from friend

Friday: Zoo trip with my cousin.  Went to work, found out I wasn't working.  Came home.  In laws over for dinner (cos were going to be baby sitting)

Saturday: Top up shopping and early dinner with friends (and babies)

Sunday: Work.  Murray cooked

It doesn't look like much on blog, but what it meant is that there wasn't a single day last week that I didn't see people.  Which probably seems lovely to some people, but I kinda need a break from other humans once in a while - even just once a week.  Because this isn't a particularly atypical week.  This is most weeks.

And not included in this list are all the normal things we have to get done: making dinner, cleaning, washing, feeding Etta, changes, nap times, story time, and these days, getting some art done.  And Etta is not some fairytale magic ass baby.  She has days where she cries and tantrums and eats rocks.  She still isn't sleeping through, and some days are days survived on less than 5 hours of broken sleep.

And I miss having time and energy to spend with Murray.  He's a choice guy.   That's why I joined with him in unholy Civil Union.  And cos boardgames.  And I need time alone to do things like shower, and read and garden, and just be with myself.

And to blog!  Come Monday I will (hopefully) have some more time to do this.  Which is good, because I'm so excited about the strange things I've been making, and I want to talk about it, but haven't had time.  But soon I will, so watch this space...

And yay!  Holiday!  I may totally fake a few proper holiday elements to really make it fun.

Potato cut of a giraffe - pretty happy with that                                                           Art pizza - fun and edible!  

On My 100 Days Project

This is a quick post cos IT'S DAY ONE OF THIS PROJECT.  Luckily for me the planets have aligned and there will be someone else home tomorrow to help mind the midget which makes starting seem slightly more achievable.

So I already enlightened you fullas on the reasons why I was doing this in my last post but only hinted at what it would be.

Watch this:

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You kinda need to watch the whole series to really get why this is inspiring, but you probably get the general idea.

No, I don't want to put my life at risk for art or science.  But I do want to do ridiculous things as dictated by my interpretation of my daily horoscope.  Because ever since I first saw Dave Gorman's Important Astrological Experiment I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.  Bless and damn you Josh Knight!

Like Dave Gorman, I'm gonna go with the multi-horoscope approach, because otherwise it'd just be boring.  I'm simplifying 20 down to 5 though cos I just won't have time to read 20 horoscopes, formulate a plan and execute it every  day.  I am choosing to use what I consider to be pretty every day places to find your horoscope: The NZ Herald, Stuff, Woman's Weekly, Facebook and The Daily Mail.

From this, I plan to craft an art object of some kind from stuff around the house.

Today's five horoscopes say this:

NZ Herald:

Lions love to be in the public spotlight but today's stars encourage you to slow down and spend some quality time on your own. Solitude is soul food for you at the moment.

Stuff:

The proverb goes: Honey is sweet, but the bees sting. Today you'll take a calculated risk in order to taste the good side of life. The potential danger isn't too great, so go for it.

NZ Woman's Weekly:

There is a chance today to look more closely at the amount of give and take in your life, whether it's at work, in your social life or at home, with your emotional and intuitive responses to things likely to reveal where you may be doing too much for others, at the expense of your own needs. In the meantime, as the Moon returns to your work sector ahead of tomorrow's Full Moon there's a need to keep your finger on the pulse and your ear to the ground, especially on the work front.

Facebook

You have an incredibly strong influence on others just by virtue of the fact of your fun-loving, peaceful, and harmonious nature, Leo. Your natural charm will take you any place you want to go today, so feel free to use it at will. Accentuate the positive and make sure you're walking on the sunny side of the street. Whistle as you walk down the sidewalk and get out into the light.

The Daily Mail:
Highwaymen were once the scourge of the road network. With their dark hats, masks and horses, they terrorised travellers, forcing their carriages to a halt and declaring, 'Stand and deliver, your money or your life.' Yet whilst there may be many issues that concern the modern motorist, and plenty of wise preparations that should be taken before anyone goes for a drive, nobody nowadays worries about a problem like that. Is there a fearful reservation that is unnerving you, even though it is equally irrelevant?

So based on what this wise advice is telling me, today I will attempt to make honey flavoured whistlepops in solitude ie: without a recipe, and then I will dress like a highwayman and try to give them away for something in return.

Let's see how that goes.  Wish me luck.  I will need a lot of it.

On art or not to art

 

                                            The art of Robocake                                                              The art of DIY apothecary

 The art of fridge display

So, you know how recently I posted about Etta sleeping through the night and me having time to do more fun stuff?

Well, that was short lived as Etta's had a cold for about a week and her sleep has reverted to waking two to six times a night.  Babies huh?  Can't live with 'em, can't continue the human race without 'em.

And before that happened, I made a decision to take part in something to help encourage me to try and be more creative.  So I thought the perfect place to start was with the 100 Days Project.  Back in my prior life as an art student, many of my earlier projects (2nd year painting) were focused around the repetition of a certain thing daily (or hourly) in a set time frame.  So this appeals.  Also, the scope is broad enough that I can pretty much make it work for me.  Initially, I set my sights low (make and photograph a cup of tea a day - talking about the importance of self care), but then decided it wouldn't really push my brain much, so I've decided to be just slightly more ambitious.

I argue with myself a LOT over whether to make art or not in general.  In light of having made a person, it now seems trite.  I stopped writing poetry because it just seemed lame.  Please don't take offense my poetry peoples I'm just being honest.  Post-Etta I'm just not in the head space to write apart from stuff like this.  It just doesn't make sense to me any more.  It may be temporary.  And it's not writers block, it's a gut wrenching aversion to writing poetry (as in if I try, I feel like puking on myself in shame).

And making art feels similar, but not the same.  There is still fun in 'making' for me, but there is no fun in 'wanking'.  By this I mean I enjoy the act of doing and creating, but I have absolutely no desire to put it into a social framework, or seriously look at art that does that.  This is not just cos I have no brain (although I'm sure it's a part of it), but also that I'm finding it hard to dedicate thought to something as esoteric as fine art.

Because at the moment, my life is too basic.  It is about eating, sleeping, working, surviving.  And with an election coming up, and even The Lego Movie taking the piss about NZd's poverty situation (right around 1.27, sorry, couldn't find a shorter clip), I feel like I have bigger things to worry about than whether people can view my knitted vibrators within the context I've created around them.  And I'm not one of those romantic people who think that art can change the world (sorry, I'm an asshole).  I'm more of a food sharing on social media type.  I'm a teach-people-how-to-grow-and-cook-food type.  I'm more a lets-change-the-world-by-voting-and-actions-and-education type.  And I knit vibrators.  That's not going to help with the poverty.  Trust me. 

I still enjoy art discourse, and am grateful I am still a little in the loop with being lucky enough to contribute to Ngaio Rue's Rework (which I encourage you all to read and comment on).  But it's hard for me to see it's validity in the same way as I did pre-Etta.  Most of my brain is dedicated to deciphering Auckland's ridiculous weather patterns in order to get nappies dry, and how to distract a baby while you cut it's claws, and working out meals we can all eat, and budgeting, and if I do X many hours of extra work what cool family thing can we do.  Which probably seems banal and boring.  But I guess I like being banal and boring.

I think that many people post art school with borderline practices, or non practices still feel this pressure to create.  I have spent a little time trying to reconcile this myself having dedicated four years to study, and much time to exhibition organising, writing, crafting and zineing since.  But the conclusion I've come to is that I utilise all these things, and all these aspects of me in my daily life, so I don't feel like I need (much of) another outlet.

I make up (and sing) stupid songs.  I build cool stuff with blocks.  I make yum (and pretty) foods.  I bake.  I play Etta's xylophone.  I work out creative ways to manage exhaustion (ie: fueling on coffee and sugar and bad films to stay awake - not hugely different from art school except that coffee used to be booze).  I engage in discourse around pirates with the Wiggles.  Basically, my life is just one giant arts party.

But I guess most of that party is being thrown for someone else.  Maybe.  I'm not totally sure on that one.  But it will probably be good for my brain if I try and focus some of that creativity on something a little more 'real world art'.  As practice.  For if I want to rejoin the grown up world some day.

So watch this space... I promise you there will be fun things to follow.  The only hint I'll give you as to what form my 100 Days Project (which starts on Friday) will take is this: DGIAE...

to be continued...