Well, this is the plan. And I'm telling everyone because I know I'm bad at following through. I know I need external (or perceived) pressure to get things done. Used to working collaboratively or in a team, I am not so great at being my own boss.
But I can do it, and I need to do it. Because this book should exist.
It was the infamous Dr Frank-N-Furter who instructed us 'Don't dream it, be it.' A mantra I sincerely agree with.
So when a Facebook friend made me aware there were no fab collections of queer folk from Oceania I did some research. What I found was that while we do have some great books about aspects of Aotearoa's queer history, most are scholarly heavy reading texts, or biographies. Most of which were about gay men or lesbian women. I found nothing easy to read that encompassed our diverse rainbow community and their history. My children's fixation* on books like What Would She Do? and any similar collection of women through history evidenced what style of book might fill this gap. And following those wise words from Frank-N-Furter, I decided to change this.
I'm probably not the best person to do this, but maybe that person is busy right now. What I have learned in life is not to underestimate my capabilities, and that if I want to see changes in the world I need to start making changes yourself. This will be the first non-fiction book I will have ever written. But I have published fiction. I have maintained a regular blog for seven years, and last year I worked consistently to meet my writing goals. Having always been interested in gender politics and sexuality this is something which really excites me. And with my educational background, and having been a comics and zines nerd, I know a fair few amazing queer Kiwi illustrators. I know I have the knowledge, the intention and the connections to make this happen.
And it needs to happen now.
Elizabeth Kerekere - a queer Kiwi worth celebrating
This history is important. When there are folk like Israel Folau and Brian Tamaki actively promoting hate speech about queer people, we need to fight back. And the best way to combat bigotry and ignorance is through knowledge. The solution to hatred, is love. So I will combat those voices by building a book which promotes the history of queer Aotearoa, giving love to our tipuna and those doing the mahi right now. To me, our pre-colonial takatāpui history, and the history of our neighbouring Pasifika nations is especially important. Queer people have existed in Aotearoa since people first set foot here. And before colonialism, takatāpui, fa'afafine, fakaleiti were just an accepted part of polynesian culture. While much of this history has been lost or hidden, there are amazing people like Dr Elizabeth Kerekere working hard to bring this to light. It is important for us to realise there was a time in Aotearoa when it was ok to be queer.
And while much has changed for some LGBTQIA+ communities, this is not the same for everyone. Trans rights are gaining visibility, but acceptance and understanding of this community is still lagging behind. Our intersex and asexual communities are so seldom acknowledged they are both still largely rendered invisible. These communities are important. As are our takatāpui and fa'afafine communities, our disabled queer communities and our religious queer communities. And ask yourself - how many famous bi or non-binary Kiwi's can you name? We still have a long way to go.
Why is it important to me? Because I've felt the prejudice of being different. It may not be common knowledge** but I have never identified as straight. While I used to identify as bi, now I prefer the term queer as I feel the term encompasses more than just sexuality. While I think a non-binary view makes more sense, with gender equity as it stands I feel there is more power for me in womanhood. Having a Civil Union wasn't just about having a platform to talk about inequality between straight and queer people. It felt hypocritical to choose to marry, something only straight people could do at the time, when the person I chose to spend the rest of my life with could just have easily have been a woman.
I have always felt a lot of fear around who I am. Not so much of being judged, more a fear of not knowing what to do, of getting things wrong. I am a pro at the unrequited crush, the drunken hook-up, the missed signals, confusing signals. This came more from lack of community than an unsupportive family. While my family are far from perfect, as a kid it still felt that they were accepting of queer people. Even though derogatory epithets for queer folk were regularly used on the farm, when it came down to the nitty gritty, my parents got it. I know that because they accepted that a little boy we grew up with was a girl. He knew from the time he was three - probably before that even. They accepted that. They did their best to support her family within a small, rural community who were dealing with something people didn't really talk about in the late 80's. And when my Grandma had a Rocky Horror themed 60th and I was introduced to the magic of this cult film, I knew being different must be ok with them too.
But society was less accepting. I remember there was only one out gay guy**** at my high school. And it was a big school - more than 1500 kids when I was there. I remember more than one girl across my two high schools getting teased and called 'dyke' just because they cut their hair short. I remember two friends being teased mercilessly after they were caught kissing. In the 1990's it was only ok to be a lesbian if it was for the benefit of the male gaze.
And while I know this is changing, I know those feelings, for many of us, are still there. Of being different. Of not fitting in. Of not being enough. And when we already have those negative voices in our heads, the voices of those like Folau are all the more powerful. But we can't give them that power. Because we are all enough. Knowing our predecessors, our queer tipuna, this whakapapa is important. Knowing where we come from gives us shoulders on which to stand so we can stand tall no matter who we are, or how we identify.
Carmen Rupe
And it's not like there are a shortage of amazing queer folk in Aotearoa's history. I've only been researching in earnest over the last couple of months and so far I have over 80 people on my list. And thanks to the support of friends, whanau and online communities, I am adding to this list every day. This small antipodean nation is not just home to amazing queer performers like Carmen Rupe, the Top Twins and Buckwheat, but politicians like Georgina Beyer, Louisa Wall and Jan Logie who have, and are, changing our nation for the better. We are home to LGBTQIA+ artists and writers, like Toss Woolaston, Frank Sargeson, Keri Hulme and Emily Writes and sportspeople like Laurel Hubbard and Amini Tuitavake Britteon Fonua. We are home to so many queer people supporting their communities like Mani Mitchell, Ngahuia Te Awekotuku and Mama Tere. We have trans astronomers. We have gay religious leaders. We have takatāpui parents.
We have a rich and beautiful queer history full of stories that should be told.
I need to write this book to give readers a chance at a peek into those stories. So young LGBTQIA+ folk regardless of where they come from, or what their families believe, know they can stand tall on the shoulders of others who have walked this path.
* I bought this book for my own gratification knowing it was well beyond their reading level/comprehension. But even at ages 3 and 5 they were hooked on the combination of image and information. Etta can quote Malala Yousafzai and Abby can quote Frida Kahlo and Emmaline Pankhurst - they loved learning about them so much.
** But if you'd ever asked me I would have told you. Everyone always assumes I'm straight.
*** My sitting on her lap = no indication that she is queer or we were a couple. She was just a good friend and she gave great hugs and made a good chair.
**** And I think he was only out because he was a punk so no-one messed with him. We also had one out bi guy. I am pretty sure he was teased, but he was so tall that I don't think anyone thought it was a great idea to take him on, but I could totally be wrong.
Tim Curry as the illustrious Dr Frank-N-Furter
But I can do it, and I need to do it. Because this book should exist.It was the infamous Dr Frank-N-Furter who instructed us 'Don't dream it, be it.' A mantra I sincerely agree with.
So when a Facebook friend made me aware there were no fab collections of queer folk from Oceania I did some research. What I found was that while we do have some great books about aspects of Aotearoa's queer history, most are scholarly heavy reading texts, or biographies. Most of which were about gay men or lesbian women. I found nothing easy to read that encompassed our diverse rainbow community and their history. My children's fixation* on books like What Would She Do? and any similar collection of women through history evidenced what style of book might fill this gap. And following those wise words from Frank-N-Furter, I decided to change this.
I'm probably not the best person to do this, but maybe that person is busy right now. What I have learned in life is not to underestimate my capabilities, and that if I want to see changes in the world I need to start making changes yourself. This will be the first non-fiction book I will have ever written. But I have published fiction. I have maintained a regular blog for seven years, and last year I worked consistently to meet my writing goals. Having always been interested in gender politics and sexuality this is something which really excites me. And with my educational background, and having been a comics and zines nerd, I know a fair few amazing queer Kiwi illustrators. I know I have the knowledge, the intention and the connections to make this happen.
And it needs to happen now.
Elizabeth Kerekere - a queer Kiwi worth celebrating
And while much has changed for some LGBTQIA+ communities, this is not the same for everyone. Trans rights are gaining visibility, but acceptance and understanding of this community is still lagging behind. Our intersex and asexual communities are so seldom acknowledged they are both still largely rendered invisible. These communities are important. As are our takatāpui and fa'afafine communities, our disabled queer communities and our religious queer communities. And ask yourself - how many famous bi or non-binary Kiwi's can you name? We still have a long way to go.
Why is it important to me? Because I've felt the prejudice of being different. It may not be common knowledge** but I have never identified as straight. While I used to identify as bi, now I prefer the term queer as I feel the term encompasses more than just sexuality. While I think a non-binary view makes more sense, with gender equity as it stands I feel there is more power for me in womanhood. Having a Civil Union wasn't just about having a platform to talk about inequality between straight and queer people. It felt hypocritical to choose to marry, something only straight people could do at the time, when the person I chose to spend the rest of my life with could just have easily have been a woman.
Me with a friend at Grandma's Rocky Horror Birthday***
But society was less accepting. I remember there was only one out gay guy**** at my high school. And it was a big school - more than 1500 kids when I was there. I remember more than one girl across my two high schools getting teased and called 'dyke' just because they cut their hair short. I remember two friends being teased mercilessly after they were caught kissing. In the 1990's it was only ok to be a lesbian if it was for the benefit of the male gaze.
One of the hottest movie scenes from my teen years - constructed for the male gaze
And while I know this is changing, I know those feelings, for many of us, are still there. Of being different. Of not fitting in. Of not being enough. And when we already have those negative voices in our heads, the voices of those like Folau are all the more powerful. But we can't give them that power. Because we are all enough. Knowing our predecessors, our queer tipuna, this whakapapa is important. Knowing where we come from gives us shoulders on which to stand so we can stand tall no matter who we are, or how we identify.
Carmen Rupe
We have a rich and beautiful queer history full of stories that should be told.
I need to write this book to give readers a chance at a peek into those stories. So young LGBTQIA+ folk regardless of where they come from, or what their families believe, know they can stand tall on the shoulders of others who have walked this path.
* I bought this book for my own gratification knowing it was well beyond their reading level/comprehension. But even at ages 3 and 5 they were hooked on the combination of image and information. Etta can quote Malala Yousafzai and Abby can quote Frida Kahlo and Emmaline Pankhurst - they loved learning about them so much.
** But if you'd ever asked me I would have told you. Everyone always assumes I'm straight.
*** My sitting on her lap = no indication that she is queer or we were a couple. She was just a good friend and she gave great hugs and made a good chair.
**** And I think he was only out because he was a punk so no-one messed with him. We also had one out bi guy. I am pretty sure he was teased, but he was so tall that I don't think anyone thought it was a great idea to take him on, but I could totally be wrong.
If you have any ideas or names of queer Kiwis that you think are important please let me know! Comment here or send me an email at queervoicesaotearoa@gmail.com . I will not be able to include everyone, but I do want to ensure those I do include are representative our Aotearoa's many diverse communities.
I'm hoping to fundraise for this book via Kickstarter, but that won't be happening until I'm a little further long with researching, likely early next year. So if you want to know more, or would like to show your support when the Kickstarter begins then subscribe to this blog as I will be posting regular progress updates.
I'm hoping to fundraise for this book via Kickstarter, but that won't be happening until I'm a little further long with researching, likely early next year. So if you want to know more, or would like to show your support when the Kickstarter begins then subscribe to this blog as I will be posting regular progress updates.
