So yesterday I went under the knife – well the razor, along with my fabulous friend Jade in order to raise money to support Kiwi’s dealing with blood cancers. Thanks to our generous friends and whanau we managed to fundraise almost $600, which is pretty bloody fantastic! Jade and I had both talked about doing this, but didn’t know when the next Shave for a Cure event was. Jade looked into it, and saw it was in about three weeks time. So we set up a Shave page.
In the weeks preceding our shave day, I told as many people as I could and was honestly surprised by some of the responses. I had assumed most people would be like ‘Cool!’, and maybe give a donation if they were in the financial position to do so – and many did. But I definitely hadn’t expected people to say ‘What are you shaving?’ (really?) or as I heard back from one friend via text ‘Ew!’.
I was surprised at the shallowness of this ‘Ew!’ response. Hair is just hair, and for those of us not going through chemo, and who don’t suffer from alopecia, it grows back. I can absolutely understand that many people are precious about their own hair, and I don’t think any less of them for that - we all have our vanities. But I would never be disgusted by a friend who chose to shave their head – unless it was for a white supremacist gang affiliation.
I also don’t understand how anyone would be surprised by my choice to do this. Appearance has never been something overly important to me. I cut my own hair. I wear mismatched clothing and sports shoes with everything. I don’t really understand make-up. I also have a very strong sense of ethics. I post about politics on my Facebook page. I work for an ethical business. I participate in a range of charity events and give regularly to a specific charity. My eventually doing Shave for a Cure was kind of a no brainer.
Jade was surprised at the many people telling her ‘You’re so brave’. Although I understand people saying this, I understand Jade’s surprise. You’re brave when you have surgery. You don’t actually have any nerves in your hair - it doesn’t hurt when you cut it. It’s not brave like running into a burning building to save someone. What people are meaning is it’s culturally brave. Beautiful women are generally depicted with flowing locks of shiny hair. We are perceived as brave because society perceives bald women as ugly, or masculine. So we must be brave to voluntarily look this way. This is why my friend said ‘Ew!’. This is a reflection of a society with poor priorities. I say ‘screw you’ to this society. I am a beautiful, feminine woman regardless of the length of my hair.
Despite these responses we went ahead with our plans for a shave day and we made it fun! We invited a few special people over to join us for the shave. When do people get to randomly cut hunks off someone’s hair without a law suit being hurled at them? We let everyone who wanted to have a turn at cutting off our hair. Few husbands can say they’ve shaved their wives heads, but mine can. He shaved it down to a number one. Then down to a number none.
I had my head shaved first. People kept asking if I was nervous. I wasn’t. I had no idea what I looked like so I wasn’t worried about it and once it’s done, it’s done. It must have seemed a little traumatic to people who weren’t me or Jade. Lucy said she felt a little like we were in Auschwitz, and was apologetic when cutting our hair. I think it’s just because shaving women’s heads is not something we associate with happiness. We aren’t in India where hair sacrifices are common, and our Hare Krishna community is small. We associate loss of hair with the big C, the holocaust and masculinity.
Jade and I look great. Both of us have pretty good looking skulls, and neither of us have dandruff. Someone even said I look like Sigourney Weaver (yay Aliens!). It’s not a style I plan to sport for long just because I like the flexibility of a bit of hair, but it’s all good for now. And it’s cold. I wasn’t planning to be one of those hairless people who wears hats (society can just deal with my bald, happy head), but at the moment it’s too cold not to. Being a knitter comes in handy when you have no hair.
So far in total, this Shave for a Cure has raised $766,896 to help the 10,000 Kiwi’s with leukemia and blood cancers. And there is still time to donate. Without people donating, doing the shave is pretty pointless. So thanks again to everyone who has donated, no matter who to, no matter how small. Every dollar counts and it all goes to the same place. And thanks to those who shared our profile with friends. Visibility is so important to causes like these. 3040 groups registered for Shave for Cure this year, so don’t be surprised if you see a few ladies sporting kinas on the streets. And if you see us, smile. Our lack of hair does not reflect a time of mourning. It reflects our positive action towards helping those who need it.
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