So this is an awkward conversation topic.
It's not the done thing to talk about how you use money or your financial position. It's not what polite society does But I think we have to. Because when we don't, it can create a big gap in peoples understanding of how wealth accumulation works. And it means we don't talk about the feelings we associate with financial wealth (or lack thereof) and how it affects us. Because it's uncomfortable. But not talking about this stuff doesn't help anyone.
I grew up in a working poor family. I cannot remember a long period of time where both of my parents were unemployed. I know it happened from time to time as things were always harder then, but usually there was work. We lived itinerantly. Whilst I was lucky to only attend four Primary schools and two high schools (the second by choice) I did move house 14 times in the first 14 years of my life.
Whilst we were poor - and I knew we were poor because we couldn't go on some school trips or have Christmases like my cousins - I didn't feel deprived. There were times when we were hungry, but they were few because my parents supplemented our diet by hunting, fishing and gardening. And rural living meant we were often paid in meat - a half a beast or a hoggart would last the family for a long time. We had clothes as we got hand me downs from cousins, and until I was 12 years old I had no idea that clothing had any social relevance.
Since childhood I can remember a strong desire to rectify my financial position. I believed I could do better than my parents, and I think this had a lot to do with knowing people who lived differently to us, and not being disparaged for thinking differently. Later on, this opened doors for me in terms of understanding I could further my education. Whilst I never had any desire to be wealthy, I did always crave stability in the form of my own home.
The standard mythology would be that I changed my position through foresight and hard work.
But that's just not true.
Me at the only exhibition where all my work sold (knitted she-wees)
Yes, I did get an education. But I got a design degree and majored in painting, and fine arts is not exactly renowned for its ability to pay the bills. And while I am good with money thanks to high school accounting classes and screwing up as an 18 year old, I have never been that great at getting my hands on it. I never made marketable art. I've struggled to value my own skills. I've never enjoyed working full time as I've always needed time and brain space to create.
Basically, I only changed my position through luck and 'marrying up'.
This was not a conscious choice. Studying at tertiary level meant mixing with folk from a different economic background from myself. Yes, there were people like me studying, but in truth - we were the minority. All but one (the high school boyfriend) of my serious relationships were with people from a different financial background to myself. It wasn't rocket science to predict I would end up hitched to someone similar.
How did Murray's background help us? Well aside from the fact he had some money in trust from his parents he miraculously hadn't spent yet, it meant he had some fiscal skills I didn't. His parents owned two businesses and a rental property so he knew how grown up stuff like businesses and real estate worked (kinda). He had insurance. More importantly, he understood insurance. He had a reliable vehicle. He worked his way up through a workplace over a period of time and earned a decent wage*.
I didn't understand how any of these things worked. Most people I knew couldn't afford to get their vehicles warranted as soon as it run out, let alone keep them in good working order. And I never had insurance. Of any kind. I couldn't afford it. I didn't know many people that did and I am still getting my head around how it works. Once we were 'Civilised', Murray's parents even got us in touch with a financial planner. My knowledge of how money worked was that if you had some you spent it on something cool and then traded that thing in for something cooler when the novelty wore off.
This was a foreign and terrifying world.
I like to think Murray and I forged some sort of balance. He had some knowledge, but he had no personal savings. He had never felt the need to save for anything as he was a man of simple needs and always earned enough to meet them. I was great at saving and goal setting, and having mostly lived on lower incomes am quite good at stretching money. I have approached the financial nous of his family with caution but it has definitely helped us be more financially savvy.
And how did we manage to buy a house in Auckland? Luck and timing. We spent nearly a year looking for the right house for us, which meant that when we did buy we had really thought about what we needed in terms of our house, location and how much we could afford to spend. And if we had have tried to get into the market just 6 months later we couldn't have. As it was, with our savings, Murray's trust and my Kiwisaver we could JUST scrape through on a low equity loan. So without the money from Murray's parents we couldn't have done it. With the increase in deposit required (20%) and the increase in housing prices we would have been like many people I know - locked out.
Buying a house has made things financially easier for us 5 years down the track. Buying a reasonably priced house combined with low interest rates means that even if I combine our mortgage repayments and rates we pay at least $50 less a week than the average rental rate for a house of our size in the area we live in.
Why do I think it's important I tell you this stuff? Because I am sick of hearing this rhetoric:
'I worked hard for what I've got'.
This may well be true. X person may well have worked themselves up from the bottom of the heap doing 70 hour weeks in the coal mines and eating only bananas and wearing the same holey shoes for ten years. But this does not mean that Y person didn't work equally hard and sacrifice just as much and end up with nothing.
Do we have what we have because we worked hard? Eh, kinda. We did plan and we made some sacrifices and held down full time jobs and put money away and moved to the suburbs, sure. But do I know people that work harder than us and have less? Definitely. Things can work in our favour that we take for granted - like job stability, housing markets, our health and having family with fiscal knowledge.
I get really annoyed by the implication that people who have little do not work hard and make poor decisions. I have previously blogged about how things are set up to benefit those who have more. People with little have to fight to just survive the daily bills, and then just when they feel they're making headway - BANG! Someone gets sick or the washing machine breaks down. It is no surprise that when there's a little money available it gets spent on something that brings a glimmer of happiness into the gloom.
And things are set up to disadvantage those with less. Renting means less stability and less control over the quality of your home. This may make it less easy to stay in the same job and garner the titles and payrises a more stable person might - or make it more expensive to get to work. It also contributes to higher rates of illness and more sick days. Inability to pay for things on time means paying extra: late payment fees, fines for no WOF, fines for no license. Attempts to increase your revenue - like getting another job - mean you incur secondary tax - the most unfair tax of all.
I am smiling even though I work full time for minimum wage.
Because I work in retail.
It all seems pretty unfair.
And this unfairness makes me uncomfortable. I am totally aware that we are in the position we are due to Murray's family being financially stable and a bit of luck. And I am also aware of how easy it would be to end up less lucky. Consequently, I'd love it if we could level the playing fields by making it a little easier on those with less, and maybe a little tougher on those with more. The best way I feel I can work toward changing this, is by voting for politicians who understand this dichotomy, and who seek to rectify it.
I'm guessing that most of the people who read my blog are friends and whanau with a similar outlook to me. But the other important thing I have to say (which you friends and whanau may disagree with) is that people who think differently to us are not the bad guy. Thinking this is the case is easier - sure, but it's not necessarily true. We probably feel how we do based on the evidence of our own lives, or the lives of people we know. This is probably the same for them. For those people who have succeeded, and only have friends who have enjoyed similar success, it will be hard to believe you can work hard and not reap any benefits. Because they haven't seen it.
It's like expecting someone to believe the boogey man is real by just telling them so.
This doesn't make them arseholes. It makes them ignorant.
We can show them all the stats and figures and Tedtalks we can muster and they might believe us, but it's just as likely that they won't. Because they don't see it, and it doesn't affect them, and they will be able to find some statistics somewhere that back their position. In fact, it works to their benefit if they pretend it doesn't exist (that is arseholey, but they are possibly not even aware of it). But creating an 'us' and 'them' mentality doesn't really help anyone.
So how can we change things? We can change how we use our money. We can stop buying rental properties or playing the property market to our personal financial betterment to make it easier for wanna be homeowners to get a look in. We can do our best to help our friends and whanau if they are less fortunate then ourselves, in ways that are welcome. We can invest in small, local businesses or in our friends business ideas. We can vote for parties that will change taxation and other policy to help level the playing field. And we can talk openly about our experiences.
*Shortly after we met I was actually earning more than him as an online advertising editor, but the partnership of the company I was working for collapsed amidst accusations of fraud and I ended up taking the owner to mediation as he refused to back pay me monies owed for when I was working outside my contract (and a new contract had been negotiated). Then the recession hit, so I was unable to get another job working at the same level I had done previously. Luck huh?
It's not the done thing to talk about how you use money or your financial position. It's not what polite society does But I think we have to. Because when we don't, it can create a big gap in peoples understanding of how wealth accumulation works. And it means we don't talk about the feelings we associate with financial wealth (or lack thereof) and how it affects us. Because it's uncomfortable. But not talking about this stuff doesn't help anyone.
I grew up in a working poor family. I cannot remember a long period of time where both of my parents were unemployed. I know it happened from time to time as things were always harder then, but usually there was work. We lived itinerantly. Whilst I was lucky to only attend four Primary schools and two high schools (the second by choice) I did move house 14 times in the first 14 years of my life.
Whilst we were poor - and I knew we were poor because we couldn't go on some school trips or have Christmases like my cousins - I didn't feel deprived. There were times when we were hungry, but they were few because my parents supplemented our diet by hunting, fishing and gardening. And rural living meant we were often paid in meat - a half a beast or a hoggart would last the family for a long time. We had clothes as we got hand me downs from cousins, and until I was 12 years old I had no idea that clothing had any social relevance.
Since childhood I can remember a strong desire to rectify my financial position. I believed I could do better than my parents, and I think this had a lot to do with knowing people who lived differently to us, and not being disparaged for thinking differently. Later on, this opened doors for me in terms of understanding I could further my education. Whilst I never had any desire to be wealthy, I did always crave stability in the form of my own home.
The standard mythology would be that I changed my position through foresight and hard work.
But that's just not true.
Me at the only exhibition where all my work sold (knitted she-wees)
Yes, I did get an education. But I got a design degree and majored in painting, and fine arts is not exactly renowned for its ability to pay the bills. And while I am good with money thanks to high school accounting classes and screwing up as an 18 year old, I have never been that great at getting my hands on it. I never made marketable art. I've struggled to value my own skills. I've never enjoyed working full time as I've always needed time and brain space to create.Basically, I only changed my position through luck and 'marrying up'.
This was not a conscious choice. Studying at tertiary level meant mixing with folk from a different economic background from myself. Yes, there were people like me studying, but in truth - we were the minority. All but one (the high school boyfriend) of my serious relationships were with people from a different financial background to myself. It wasn't rocket science to predict I would end up hitched to someone similar.
Cos she ain't nothing but a gold-digger (not actually...)
How did Murray's background help us? Well aside from the fact he had some money in trust from his parents he miraculously hadn't spent yet, it meant he had some fiscal skills I didn't. His parents owned two businesses and a rental property so he knew how grown up stuff like businesses and real estate worked (kinda). He had insurance. More importantly, he understood insurance. He had a reliable vehicle. He worked his way up through a workplace over a period of time and earned a decent wage*. I didn't understand how any of these things worked. Most people I knew couldn't afford to get their vehicles warranted as soon as it run out, let alone keep them in good working order. And I never had insurance. Of any kind. I couldn't afford it. I didn't know many people that did and I am still getting my head around how it works. Once we were 'Civilised', Murray's parents even got us in touch with a financial planner. My knowledge of how money worked was that if you had some you spent it on something cool and then traded that thing in for something cooler when the novelty wore off.
This was a foreign and terrifying world.
I like to think Murray and I forged some sort of balance. He had some knowledge, but he had no personal savings. He had never felt the need to save for anything as he was a man of simple needs and always earned enough to meet them. I was great at saving and goal setting, and having mostly lived on lower incomes am quite good at stretching money. I have approached the financial nous of his family with caution but it has definitely helped us be more financially savvy.
Me and Murray at our new home in Sunnyvale
Buying a house has made things financially easier for us 5 years down the track. Buying a reasonably priced house combined with low interest rates means that even if I combine our mortgage repayments and rates we pay at least $50 less a week than the average rental rate for a house of our size in the area we live in.
Why do I think it's important I tell you this stuff? Because I am sick of hearing this rhetoric:
'I worked hard for what I've got'.
This may well be true. X person may well have worked themselves up from the bottom of the heap doing 70 hour weeks in the coal mines and eating only bananas and wearing the same holey shoes for ten years. But this does not mean that Y person didn't work equally hard and sacrifice just as much and end up with nothing.
Do we have what we have because we worked hard? Eh, kinda. We did plan and we made some sacrifices and held down full time jobs and put money away and moved to the suburbs, sure. But do I know people that work harder than us and have less? Definitely. Things can work in our favour that we take for granted - like job stability, housing markets, our health and having family with fiscal knowledge.
I get really annoyed by the implication that people who have little do not work hard and make poor decisions. I have previously blogged about how things are set up to benefit those who have more. People with little have to fight to just survive the daily bills, and then just when they feel they're making headway - BANG! Someone gets sick or the washing machine breaks down. It is no surprise that when there's a little money available it gets spent on something that brings a glimmer of happiness into the gloom.
And things are set up to disadvantage those with less. Renting means less stability and less control over the quality of your home. This may make it less easy to stay in the same job and garner the titles and payrises a more stable person might - or make it more expensive to get to work. It also contributes to higher rates of illness and more sick days. Inability to pay for things on time means paying extra: late payment fees, fines for no WOF, fines for no license. Attempts to increase your revenue - like getting another job - mean you incur secondary tax - the most unfair tax of all.
I am smiling even though I work full time for minimum wage.
Because I work in retail.
It all seems pretty unfair.And this unfairness makes me uncomfortable. I am totally aware that we are in the position we are due to Murray's family being financially stable and a bit of luck. And I am also aware of how easy it would be to end up less lucky. Consequently, I'd love it if we could level the playing fields by making it a little easier on those with less, and maybe a little tougher on those with more. The best way I feel I can work toward changing this, is by voting for politicians who understand this dichotomy, and who seek to rectify it.
I'm guessing that most of the people who read my blog are friends and whanau with a similar outlook to me. But the other important thing I have to say (which you friends and whanau may disagree with) is that people who think differently to us are not the bad guy. Thinking this is the case is easier - sure, but it's not necessarily true. We probably feel how we do based on the evidence of our own lives, or the lives of people we know. This is probably the same for them. For those people who have succeeded, and only have friends who have enjoyed similar success, it will be hard to believe you can work hard and not reap any benefits. Because they haven't seen it.
It's like expecting someone to believe the boogey man is real by just telling them so.
This doesn't make them arseholes. It makes them ignorant.
We can show them all the stats and figures and Tedtalks we can muster and they might believe us, but it's just as likely that they won't. Because they don't see it, and it doesn't affect them, and they will be able to find some statistics somewhere that back their position. In fact, it works to their benefit if they pretend it doesn't exist (that is arseholey, but they are possibly not even aware of it). But creating an 'us' and 'them' mentality doesn't really help anyone.
So how can we change things? We can change how we use our money. We can stop buying rental properties or playing the property market to our personal financial betterment to make it easier for wanna be homeowners to get a look in. We can do our best to help our friends and whanau if they are less fortunate then ourselves, in ways that are welcome. We can invest in small, local businesses or in our friends business ideas. We can vote for parties that will change taxation and other policy to help level the playing field. And we can talk openly about our experiences.
*Shortly after we met I was actually earning more than him as an online advertising editor, but the partnership of the company I was working for collapsed amidst accusations of fraud and I ended up taking the owner to mediation as he refused to back pay me monies owed for when I was working outside my contract (and a new contract had been negotiated). Then the recession hit, so I was unable to get another job working at the same level I had done previously. Luck huh?
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