On sexism and the election

I cried when she stood down.  I was heartbroken.

Other people have written about this far eloquently than I, with better researched arguments and more politico savvy.  But someone said something to me the other day which made me feel like I had more to add.  So I may just be reiterating things you already know, and things you've read about before.  But regardless, I need to say it.

Never in my lifetime has NZd's political sexism been as transparent as it is in the lead up to this election.

Well, maybe it has.  Maybe it's just the first time we've had strong female leaders at the helm for a while.  Regardless of why, it is a phenomenon which makes me feel physically ill.

In the lead up to this election we have seen three party leaders use tax payers money in a fraudulent manner.  For one of whom, the fraud was historical and self-admitted.  For the other two the fraud happened whilst they were in parliament, and was uncovered by researchers or the media.  Two of these party leaders are still leaders running in this election.  Neither of these leaders outed themselves about the fraud and one of these leaders is the current Prime Minister of New Zealand.

The one who is no longer a leader has also been strongly nominated as the 2017 New Zealander of the Year.  And whilst stepping down as leader was entirely Metiria's choice - it was understandable given the immense pressure she and her family were under following her admission.  Whilst the media pursued the other leaders too, the ferocity with which they came after Metiria was jaw dropping with some calling for her resignation.  While both Bill English and Winston Peters paid back the money they had appropriated whilst in government, their public admonishments were not nearly as strong as that received by Turei even though their fraud was committed whilst they were in government and earning a decent income.

Why is this?

I postulate there are three parts to it.  The first part is that New Zealanders love to hate beneficiaries.  This is bolstered by the current governments constant painting of them as criminal fraudsters living it up large on the tax payer dollar.  It is easy to kick those that are already down, so even though benefit fraud only accounts for a small proportion of other types of fraud in NZ (like tax avoidance) beneficiaries are relentlessly hounded by the MSD and the media.*  So even though Turei's fraud was historical and circumstantial she was 'one of them' and needed to be taken down.

The second part to this is that like many women do, Metiria chose to put her family before her work.  Whilst the majority of her party were in support of her staying and staying would have been more powerful in terms of the argument she was trying to make, she put the needs of her family (namely her elderly mother) first.  It is difficult for me to see either Bill English or Winston Peters feeling the imperative to make the same choice.  And truthfully, I think it's because they're pākehā (or pākehā valued) men.  Whilst both are parents, and probably also someones kids, they don't have the same direct responsibilities as Metiria as a solo parent or as a Māori woman.

I don't know the stats.  My evidence is mostly anecdotal (but there are papers on it so it's obviously a thing) and based on my understanding of Te Ao Māori and experiences.  But overwhelmingly, I have seen women of colour - especially Māori and Pasifika women - to have different responsibilities than pākehā women.  They are often directly responsible for the care of other family members - siblings, parents, Grandchildren, cousins, nephews and nieces.  And if not directly responsible, they often still have a level of responsibility for care within the whanau - driving elderly relatives to hospital appointments, or financially supporting extended family members. 

These are not responsibilities easily understood by pākehā.

I think the third factor in Metiria's treatment is that she is not just a woman, but a Māori woman.  Whilst pākehā do also care for extended family directly or financially (this is the case within my own family), it is the exception rather than the rule.  Whanaungatanga is an important part of te ao Māori - so caregiving is a cultural expectation.  Metiria has lived with responsibilities misaligned with pākehā values and a strongly pākehā government.  This is part of who she is.  And this has been interpreted negatively because of her admission of benefit fraud, which was (again) done to aid her family.

I do not think she intentionally martyred herself for her people.  There were a lot of factors in her downfall, but from my perspective the biggest factor by far is that her experience as a woman, a caregiver and a mother, is not one often pitched from parliament.  Hearing a woman's experience - in particular a struggling Māori woman's perspective, is confusing.  Because we do not hear it often enough.  Because women's experiences are largely not valued by our government.

So that's half of it.

Jacinda Ardern: A New Hope? 

Now lets talk about Jacinda.

I don't even know where to start.  Do I start with the fact that her clothing choices are questioned in a way male political leaders aren't?  Or the fact that someone decided that her choices regarding procreation were a political issue?  Or the fact that  a prominent business man thought it acceptable to describe her as a 'pretty little thing'?  These are just the superficial issues.

The things regarding Jacinda that have irked me the most have been less obvious, and are things that as a woman she probably has dealt with her entire life.  The first of which is mansplaining.

This is probably just a personal bugbear.  Men do it to me all the time - including my partner** and I fucking hate it.  This makes me feel that my intelligence, experience and personhood has been written off in an instant purely because of my gender.  And it sucks!  I'm an educated, intelligent woman who reads extensively and has worked broadly.  And watching a woman of Jacinda's quick wit, education and experience have basic statistics and political concepts mansplained to her debate after debate is sickening.

If she were Colin Craig, she would have probably sued someone over it.

Watching Bill English and Mike Hosking talk over the top of her has been hard.  When I voiced this to Murray during the first debate he said 'English is just better at talking through them'.  I thought about it, and truthfully he was right.  He is better.  And I wondered why she wasn't being more forceful in the debate.  But it made me wonder what would happen if Jacinda applied the same approach as English: would we see her as better at getting her point across and leading an argument?  Or would she be perceived as a mouthy bitch?  Given the events that have happened in the lead up to this election, after serious thought I think her conservative approach is sensible.

This is the thing about women in politics - it is impossible for them not to be aware of their gender in every little thing they do.  Because they are judged to a different set of standards than your male counterparts.

Watching the debates I have to admit, I perceived Jacinda to be weak.  I appreciated that she has a moral high ground she didn't want to tread on as other politicians do regularly, but I didn't think she was strong enough.  Every time she waited politely for Bill to finish, every time she used the words 'please' and 'thankyou' and acknowledged her fellow MPs for the valuable work they were doing, I cringed internally.  I saw this as a consequence of her having lived as a woman, and having to kowtow to men on a regular basis.

But after serious thought I've realised this is not the case.  Jacinda is just smart.  She understands public perception.  She's just seen another woman get crucified for her womanhood.  Jacinda is gaming it.

Which brings me to why I felt the need to write this.

I was talking to a colleague about the election, and who we were planning on voting for.  And she said to me 'I'm voting Labour, because then maybe we'll have a woman PM.'  She went on to tell me that she knew this was probably sexist, but after what happened to Metiria she was just tired of seeing women getting beaten down.  I was appreciative of her honesty, but must admit I was shocked.

But I thought about it, like really thought about what she said and I actually totally agree.  I am sick of the boys club.

 I miss Aunty Helen...                           

I am saddened that we had nine years of a wonderful female Prime Minister (who kept our books in surplus incidentally), but we are still back to debating what colour Jacinda will wear to a debate.  We should be better by now.  I mean, there's been a smear campaign that Jacinda supports 'full term abortion' - and people have believed it***.  Seriously.  It's all a bit ridiculous.

So fuck it.  I'm going to say it.  Let's vote for a female PM.  Or if not, lets vote for parties that at least support us**** as women.  We should be waaaay past the 'you need to vote, women fought hard for your right, blah blah blah' rhetoric.  We need to vote.  And we need to vote for people who actually represent our rights as women.

Because this boys club does not have our best interests at hard.  And it has got to go.

Basic breakdown- best party for broadly addressing women's rights is The Green Party, 
and the Maori Party also have some great ideas.  

The worst parties are Act and NZ First.

* Just FYI - I have been audited for benefit fraud before.  I have very seldom received any money from the MSD - just at two periods of time in my life - both for under a year - and both due to breaks in my mental health affecting my ability to work.  Whilst I hadn't committed any fraud to my knowledge, I was terrified that I may have done so accidentally.  None of this is particularly helpful for someone who is unable to work due to suffering from chronic anxiety.

** Sorry Murray, but it's true.  There will definitely be an element of me misconceiving some things as 'mansplaining' that are regular explaining - but when you've been mansplained to your entire life it is difficult not to feel touchy when people get patronising on your arse - especially about things like mechanics of a board game that I statistically win as much as you (and you know the stats).  I don't think you're trying to be an arse, and I love you.

*** Man do I live in a bubble!  I had no idea this was going on until someone posted about it as a comment on my cousin's Facebook page.  I didn't even know this was happening, let alone that someone would believe it.  It's totally just copying the Religious Right's treatment of Hillary during the lead up to the US election.  And people still believe it.  What is happening is that Labour is in support of decriminalising abortion - not that it's ok to terminate pregnancies after 37 weeks...  This is my next blog topic right here.  Truly.  I'm pissed right now.

**** You're not an 'us' you're a dude?  Woman's rights are still in your best interests.  Just read/watch this or one of many other great articles or videos on it if you haven't been schooled on it already.