Abby was an absolutely crazy, screaming-whenever-awake, what-the-actual-fuck baby until a few weeks ago. Now, with just some small changes she's pretty much a 'normal' baby.
It's been a steep learning curve. I thought colic was a medical thing. Didn't realise it was just a term used for when a baby is 'fussy at the same time of day for a period of three hours or more'. Abby was the life of the colic party. Her fussy time went from about 4.30pm until sometimes 11pm. Murray and I would often go for days without really talking as it was too hard to do amongst the chaos of a constantly screaming child (and I would retreat to bed to attempt some sleep as soon as it seemed at all possible). Now, while she still often won't go 'down for the night' until 9ish it's a lot less screamy. Oh the difference that makes! Some nights we actually get an hour or so to converse.
And I thought reflux was a spilling thing. But apparently there's this thing called silent reflux where they don't really spit up especially much and everyone assumed Abby had it. She didn't (she has issues from difficult delivery), but she did share a lot of the same problems as a 'reflux' baby - needed to be held upright constantly, hated lying on her back, wouldn't sleep in her cot. While this hasn't totally changed, it's starting to. And where things are at currently are liveable. She slept (and resettled after feeds) in her bassinet all night for the first time a few nights ago. Until then she has co-slept with me for at least part of the night every night to avoid middle of the night screaming sessions (and ultimately, waking her sister and starting WWIII).
Today is the first day Abby's managed to simultaneously be in the pram on the bus while not screaming for THIRTEEN WHOLE MINUTES. That's about twelve and a half minutes more than her previous personal best. She even smiled at me through some of the trip. Unlike her sister who was generally a happy little vegemite in the pram, Abby hates it unless it is in constant forward motion. And that 'rocking' the pram in one spot she will have none of. It's cheating. So where with Etta I could escape some fussiness (and get some sun and exercise to combat exhaustion and depression) by just taking the pram out for a little stroll, this has not been the case this time. It looks like that is finally changing.
Which is great. Because up until this point it's been nigh on impossible to go out without help unless feeling particularly brave. Because walking around with a screaming baby in any environment never fails to elicit commentary and advice from total strangers. Which is ridiculous because how can you possibly not know:
a) your child is screaming
b) why your child might be screaming (if for any reason other than just cos babies do that...)
When you basically listen to screaming all day and don't sleep much and are grateful for days where you can shower, jerk strangers pointing out the obvious is not what you need. Usually what you need is a couple of stiff drinks. And, if you can't have that just leaving your home to walk without harassment would be nice.*
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Meanwhile over in camp toddler it's been a bit of a nightmare.
Because I was planning to only need one cot I was hoping to start the process of upgrading Etta to a 'big girl bed'. She gets quite ownershippy about her 'stuff' so we were hoping to put her cot away for a few months before passing it down to Abby to avoid attempted sororicide. So we made the call a couple of weekends ago to take the side off her cot.
It was kind of ok for the first wee bit. Etta did fixate on an aspect of the 'new' bed we weren't expecting her to (new robot duvet) but we weren't expecting things to go super smooth. Etta does not cope well with change. And this on the coat-tails of a new sibling was probably a bit much. The first week was hicuppy, but ok. And then she worked out she could get out of the bed...
And the next day she worked out she could also undo her sleeping bag and open her door. And all the other doors in the house. That in itself is pretty ARGH, but she then decided that napping was no longer required. The thing is, napping is totally still required as she is a terrifying nightmare monster when she doesn't nap. So that part wasn't fun. Even less fun was the sudden night terrors screaming in the middle of the night and then deciding that she didn't need to sleep resulting in Murray sleeping on the floor by her cot (I had Abby) both Friday and Saturday night.
So while we really tried to stick it out to save future torment, on Sunday we put the side back on the cot. Hey presto - napping as usual.
But she's also at that point in development where she's realised she really is her own person ie: she doesn't have to listen to other people if she really doesn't want to. This is the first time I've actually felt annoyed by my child. Because I'll be trying to talk to her about something important and she'll just start humming and walk away to play with something else. She's also taken to saying 'huh?' if she doesn't understand/agree or want to hear what you're saying (sigh). I am catching a glimpse now of what it might feel like to live with a teenager**.
She's also teething. So as much as I feel frazzled, I also do feel sorry for her as it obviously hurts her. She's also grown three centimeters in the last three months and as a result has become clumsy as fuck. So she's constantly bumped and bruised and generally undergoing some form of physical harassment. I'm just glad she's a hardarse and besides being grumpy and prone to tantrums seldom cries when she's injured herself. Growing must suck.
So yeah. Times have been a bit suck but they are getting better. I even managed to get a massage and buy myself a new dress on the weekend. This weekend Murray and I are even going to attempt to go out on a date (a breakfast one). Wish us luck (well, wish our babysitters luck).
* How sad is it that many of us (I'm sure it's not just me) feel trapped in our homes because we have 'fussy' babies? I do fully get that as a non-parent (or another parent) it isn't the most fun thing listening to screaming babies when you're out. But people willing to take out screaming babies obviously are the ones who really need to be out of the house? I mean, it's not fun for us being out with a screaming baby and getting glared at. We don't do it for fun. But you know what, it's better than getting PND, or leaving your family or murdering your baby. So maybe, rather than give us the evils - give us a smile, one of those 'you are doing great!' kind of smiles. Just doing that might save a babies life some day. You really never know.
** Only this one still poops her pants and I have to physically wrestle her into submission to change them. You'd be surprised at how strong a toddler can be!
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