There has been a lot about kids in poverty in the news recently. More than 20% of our kids live under the
poverty line in New Zealand today. That’s heaps.
It is frustrating for me to see those in power seeming to do very little
to change this. Instead, they have put in place tax policy that further disadvantages those in lower socio economic brackets (changes to GST), and made a scapegoat of beneficiaries during a recession. This only serves to make things worse. I spent much of my
childhood under the poverty line, so I know first-hand the detriment this
causes not just the kids, but entire families, when they feel powerless to
change this.
In saying this, I seldom felt poor as a child. We had people who loved us. We spent most of our childhood in an idyllic landscape
close to beaches and full of animals and exciting places to play. We couldn't afford most school trips, but I loved going to school. And although we were always poor, there were
only short periods of what would be considered extreme deprivation.
For the most part, my dad was a farm worker, and my mum
was a mum who did as much other work as she could. She was the cleaner at Waioneke Primary (South Head), and at local peoples houses. The patches where we were actually hungry
were the patches between farms. As farm
workers, our board was often free, and we also received a bit of food for free
too. These two basic things helped
massively with our general survival, and my dad was a very practical hunting, fishing man living off the land man. The
thing that made things difficult was living in such an isolated place, far from
our extended family, and pretty much everything else.
Living in such an isolated area often meant being
trapped. If you have no money for gas,
you can’t leave. Siphoning petrol from
lawnmowers, farm machinery and motorbikes was a common occurrence when we had
money. This enabled us to get out and
get groceries, or more petrol to get my parents to work. When we
had no money there was no petrol in the lawnmower, little food and no escape.
When you are actually in poverty, applying
logic to the situation you are in is not simple. You are starving. If you are a parent, you are likely feeling
like a terrible parent - extremely worthless.
If you feel worthless, you will likely be depressed. If you feel depressed and trapped, you will likely lash out at others. If you are depressed and alienated, you are more
likely to suffer from addiction. If you
suffer from addiction, you are more likely to make poor financial decisions. If you feel worthless, and a failure as a parent, why does it matter? And if you live in isolation from friends and
family, it is difficult to get help.
Living in poverty is living in constant fear. Fear that you will lose the little you have. Fear that you are failing your children. Fear that your children will be taken from
you. Fear of illness, and more bills. Fear that your friends and family pity
you, or are ashamed of you. Fear that the
situation will never change and this is how you will live your entire life.
Even if you are a child of poverty who’s parents escaped,
or has escaped yourself, having lived like this follows you for your whole
life. I still find it difficult living
in middle class suburbia. The reality
for people here is so different than the reality that made up my formative
years. I have friends who had parents were frugal and worked hard to have what they have now, so have some understanding, but it isn't the same.
I don’t think I could bring my kids up with Santa, because
the notion of Santa was so harmful for me. I thought I got less than my cousins in my
Santa sack because I’d been bad. I
still have difficulty eating oranges at any time but Christmas because it was a
special food. My fortnightly food budget
is only $30 more than my friend’s fortnightly beauty budget. I didn't own a computer until I was 25 (and that one was given to me), I'm only passionate about Commodore 64 cos we had one at school. I feel guilty going on overseas holidays
because I still have family living in poverty.
Unlike most of my generation, I do not have that sense of
entitlement. I fit better with my grandmothers generation, who lived through the depression. I work my butt off for $16
an hour because it’s enough to pay my bills and I am grateful.
I do not think my parents failed me. Although I know there were issues with addiction, it was never something we saw. My parents never bought ciggies over food for us. My parents cared about my brother and I, we were not neglected. We were poor and life was hard, but we still had fun. We mattered. I'm sure my parents could have made different choices, but my parents both left school before sitting School C, so those choices were limited. And it is different when you are in a pit trying to get out, than when you are at the top shouting down.
It took us a long time to get out of poverty - it didn't happen until I was a teenager. The steps we had to take were drastic. My parents had to separate, then
divorce. My mother had to move into a
small two bedroom flat in Helensville. She
had to work full time for her brother in laws business in Henderson, and raise one
and a half kids (Dad had joint custody of my brother). And that was just the start. Things were still financially tight, but we
were closer to help, and closer to our family, which made a big
difference. It was so hard for mum to
leave, that I had to leave first. It is sometimes very hard to ask for help.
The only reason we could do this is because we have a
loving, supportive extended family.
Without this, we would have stayed trapped. And in all honesty, I don’t think all of us
would have survived. Poverty, depression
and addiction can all lead to violence.
We lived through that too.
In order to change child poverty in New Zealand, the
people in power need to understand what it’s truly like to exist in
poverty. Instead of throwing stones at
beneficiaries and low income families, they need to offer an olive branch. I am not referring to more money. I am saying that these people feel on the
outskirts of society already, we need to make them feel part of society. Not everyone has the
family support that we had, or have family living outside of poverty. Not everyone
will have the trigger that we had to change our circumstances. Changing child poverty in New Zealand is not
something that can happen overnight.
When all someone knows is how to live in poverty, how can
we expect them to understand how to live any other way? We learn our life skills from our parents,
and they learn from their parents, so when people talk about generations of DPB
mums, how can we be surprised that they exist?
Change is not about giving people more or less money, it is about giving
people the necessary skills to understand how to live differently. It is about acknowledging and accepting all
the things that come with poverty: depression, hunger, addiction,
alienation. And it is about creating
jobs and industry in those areas where there are none.
And in the meantime we should be looking after these
children. These children make up one
fifth of our future generation. We
should care about them. There are a few
basic things we can give them to give them a chance to create a different
future for themselves and their children: food, health care, education, life
skills and a caring community that they want to be a part of. Take the parents out of the picture, and
focus on the future.
And start at home. If you have friends and whanau that are doing it tough, ask if there is anything you can do to help. It mightn't be money. It might mean sharing food and other resources. It might mean offering childcare once a week. It might mean sitting down and looking at their budget. It might just mean having a cup of tea and a chat. You'll never know unless you ask.
And start at home. If you have friends and whanau that are doing it tough, ask if there is anything you can do to help. It mightn't be money. It might mean sharing food and other resources. It might mean offering childcare once a week. It might mean sitting down and looking at their budget. It might just mean having a cup of tea and a chat. You'll never know unless you ask.
Charity should always be a stop gap. When people become reliant on charity, it
takes away their ability to do things for themselves. But at the moment, the situation here is dire. We have the 40 Hour Famine coming up where
children the country over will not eat for 40 hours to support children in Mali
and Niger. We have children who are on in famine here. Check out the
charities below if you want to support Kiwi kids and the future of our country.
