Surprise! Another parasite

Standard foetus pic with duck coming out of stomach

So if the most recent post you've read was this one, you will be thinking one of two things:
1) I had this planned out all along
2) HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

If you were thinking 2, you'd be correct.  We weren't secretly planning on getting pregnant and posting that post as subterfuge.  This is what actually happened:

My Dr (ages ago) put me on a minipill called Noriday because it's a low progesterone pill and I'd been curious about the progesterone implant (Jadelle) but had some concerns about side effects (because of my mental health history).  I half arsedly took it a bit, then realised I wasn't having enough sex to really necessitate being on the pill, so we used condoms for a bit.

Then I started having very bad pain with ovulation which I'd read could be aided with going on the pill - so I went onto Noriday properly.  Noriday made me bleed lightly ALL THE TIME and I didn't get periods and I totally hate that as not getting periods makes me paranoid I'm harbouring a DEATH BABY so I was taking a million pregnancy tests to rule that out in case the pill had failed and it was awful.  Cos I also bled ALL THE TIME.

After three months of this (tried for a bit in case it balanced itself out, but it didn't) I went to the Dr and had a different non-progesterone pill prescribed.  I was now a little terrified of what a progesterone implant might do to me long term, so figured that another pill was the solution to my ovulation pain whilst ensuring I didn't get knocked up in the process.

There was a tiny one week window in which I could have gotten knocked up in... We didn't use protection cos we're idiots but also:
1) I only have one fallopian tube so assumed conception more tricky than regular folks
2) I had JUST come off a pill.

So trust me, this wasn't planned.

And it came as a bit of a shock when we did find out we were pregnant.

Etta had the most horrible tummy bug she'd ever had (pretty sure it was rotovirus) and was super ill. Later that week I also had nausea and vomiting and called in sick to work.  Then a few days later Murray got the bug.  After he had it, I realised I couldn't have had the thing that they'd had as they were wayyyy sicker than me and had uncontrollable projectile vomit (which I hadn't).  I was then just finishing the first cycle of my new pill, and my period was overdue by a couple of days.  So I took a test just in case.  It was positively a baby bug that made me so ill.

I found out the day that I was hosting a bunch of people at our place for a birthday sexy party.  Oh that was a hideous time to find out!  I was soooo glad Murray and I had discussed what would happen if (this scenario) before so at least we were on the same page, but I just wanted to cry when I called him at work to tell him.  I was most terrified of telling my mother in law as new date-wise we'd be due very close to when we were supposed to be on a long planned big family holiday in Rarotonga and hormones and everything made things a bit blagh.  And I felt ill, and had to tidy, and had to make party and pretend everything was ok.

Vibrating implements + awesome friends: Kept me from crying on crazy day

When really everything was going to change.  Again.

As always our first port of call was to establish that everything was ok so I didn't die of exploding Fallopiantubeitis (ectopic pregnancy).  So once we confirms the pregnancy at the Drs via another pee test we went to a scan the following day.

And everything was fine (besides being exactly the right amount of pregnant to ruin the trip to Raro completely).  So not only did we manage to get pregnant straight after coming off the pill by hardly having had any sex, but the pregnancy was also totally fine and healthy.  Given my history and my one remaining tube, this was pretty amazing stuff.  So we figure like Etta surviving surgery as a tiny embryo, this little dude is canny, resilient and meant to be.

No evil twins lurking in the ovarian area (or cysts even!)

So although we haven't figured out the big questions like where the baby will live (in a cupboard at this stage) or how will a pram for two under two work (considering this puppy if Etta's walking by then cos I love my swift and don't want a double buggy), we have worked out we are excited about this little surprise baby. 

Hell, we don't have to worry about whether or not to have another baby now.
Big question answered*. 
But oh, how pregnancy sucks!

*Ellen was right.

On Video Shop Ettiquette

A pic from back in the day - look how skinny!

I've been pondering on this post for some time now and keep forgetting to use my tiny time windows to write it!  Given my life outside the house (still) working in an ever more obsolete industry, I thought I'd share some observations of the 'dos and do nots' of video rental customers:

DO read the signs or ask a Retail Assistant what to do when wanting to sign up for a Video Shop membership.

DO NOT get a whole pile of DVDs, put them on the counter, ask to sign up then throw a hissy fit because you don't have the right ID.  Us asking for a form of valid photo ID and proof of current address is not Naziism.  Me not signing you up because you do not have this is me doing my job properly, not me being a bitch.  It's pretty standard.  You look like a jackass throwing an adult tantrum in a public place.

DO return DVD's into the 'Returns' slot which is usually located right in front of you when you walk in the door.  Pretty easy really.

DO NOT place DVD's randomly over the counter, on the counter or any other random place that is not the 'Returns' slot.  We ask this for your own good. When you don't return DVD's properly they can easily be taken by any random person who happens to be around as we have more jobs than just watching the general returns area like a hawk.  If this happens, the DVD's remain on your account as they will not yet have been returned through the computer system which will cause you problems, and you may end up having to pay for said incorrectly returned DVD's.


DO rent a Bluray disc if you have a PS3, PS4 or Bluray player.  DO ask what Bluray is if you don't know.

DO NOT rent a Bluray disc if you don't.  It is quite likely you won't be able to play it.  We will swap it for a regular disc no problem, but it's just wasted everyone a bunch of time.

DO ask a Retail Assistant for recommendations if you are stuck for ideas.  DO let us know what genres you most enjoy, and what some of your favorite movies are. 

DO NOT expect that the Retail Assistant will have exactly the same taste in movies as you... But DO feel free to give us feedback (without swears)

DO NOT get angry that we don't have a specific movie that hasn't been released at cinemas yet in New Zealand.  It is not our fault you are so up with the play.  Equally, DO NOT get angry at your Retail Assistant if they don't know what this movie is.  It hasn't been released yet.  We are not the knowers of all things.

If you have brought up the wrong case and there is another customer at the counter when you return, DO wait patiently until they are served.  It is not their fault you brought up the wrong case.

DO NOT step in front of them like the Shop Assistants only job is to service your every whim and all others are your lessers and must bow to your greatness.


DO bring ID with you if you want to rent anything more than an R16 and are either young, or suffer from 'baby face'.

DO NOT get mad if you don't have ID and can't rent the movie you'd like to.  Even if you're of age.  Most of us don't have a spare $10,000 lying around if you aren't and we get caught, so most of us won't take that risk just because you're sad.

DO NOT rent movies with subtitles if you don't like reading.
DO NOT rent festival films if you want a plot resolution.
DO NOT rent R18 Contains Sexual Violence warninged films if you don't want to see sexual violence.

DO compliment your Video Shop Assistant when they give you great service.

DO NOT treat your Video Shop Assistant like a retard.  Not all retail workers are all idiots.  Most retail workers (especially in video shops) have other occupations or time sucking hobbies away from work.  Or genuine world take over plans.  And even if they don't, retail is a valid occupation that requires skill.  Some of these skills include (but are not limited to):

Cash handling - maths and stuff
Literacy skills - alphabetising etc
Product knowledge - self explanatory
Research skills - we can't know everything but we should know how to find out
Computer skills -We don't just give you DVDs and then put them back on the shelf after...
People skills - knowing when it's not appropriate to use the word 'cunt' and when/when not to recommend 'Roadhouse'
Small people skills - coping well with unexplained crashes and shrieking
Ability to handle stoners/drunks/meth heads/jerks/regulars and awesome people
Ability to work under pressure - doing everything by the book when there's a queue
Conflict resolution - essential.  The public can be jerks but you can't call them jerks.
Multitasking - doing all of the above at the same time.
Ability to stand up and not take breaks indefinitely
Ability to hold urine/faeces - if working sole charge, this is a 'must have' skill

DO bring your children to the video shop.  There is lots of space to run around in and lots of fun stuff to look at.

DO NOT leave your children in the video shop while you go elsewhere for any random period of time.  We are not child minders.  It is not our responsibility to look after your child or even ensure they stay in the store.  For all you know we might be pedophiles or axe murderers.  Seriously.  They're your progeny.  What's wrong with you people!!!

If you have a crush on someone in retail:
DO be brave and ask them out.  The worst that can happen is that they say no.  It will probably just be awkward the next time you see them, then after that it'll be back to normal retail/customer banter.

DO NOT ask the person weird personal questions, when their shifts start/end or call them at work to talk about generic niceties.  Do not turn up to every shift they work.  Do not ask other work colleagues when they are working next.  Do not constantly stare at their breasts/crotch/feet.  Do not talk incessantly about your mother.  Do not converse for a long time with us and then rent porn where the actor/actress on the cover looks eerily similar to us.  This isn't flattering.  Do not expect that because we are nice to you we want to be your girlfriend/boyfriend.  We work in retail.  It's our job to be nice.

And finally:

DO rent porn if you want to.  If you want to rent porn make your selection reasonably quickly and act as though you are renting any other movie.  We're ok with it.  It's part of our job.  It's nothing to be ashamed of.  Normal banter applies.

DO NOT spend 10 minutes pretend browsing the shop, then spend 10 minutes in the porn room, then emerge from said room with a weird bottle with a small amount of a milk like substance in it.  You look dodgy as fuck doing this.  If you need to jack off to porn as soon as you see it please do it via the internet at home like most people.

A catch up

Days are hectic with a busy 16 month old who never naps longer than an hour.  The only reason I am writing now is because Sesame Street is on.  I was totally wrong about TV parenting.  Sometimes it's necessary.  Sesame Street grants me a magical one hour window where Etta doesn't climb into precarious places or turn off important switches (like the one controlling the router).  It's the only time I can DO anything because I attempt to nap during her nap cos still getting my iron levels sorted.

With too many ideas and no smart way of articulating them all cohesively in a post, I've decided this can be a catch up as much has happened in the last few months.

First of all, we have lost a loved friend.  Wellesley, after struggling with weird rabbit tooth problems (teeth growing the wrong way and creating abscesses in his jaw that kept coming back) had to get put down as we couldn't afford more surgery and we weren't sure his body would cope with it anyway.  This was a horrible day.

We had known it was coming, and he was an indoors bunny until then so we could look after him the best we could and spend as much time with him as possible.  We noticed he'd gone really downhill on my birthday, and booked him in as soon as we could after that so he didn't have to suffer any more.  He was a super awesome bunny and we really, really miss him.  We buried him next to Huckle and there are beautiful flowers growing over both of them.

 Etta giving Wells a kiss

Secondly, we have gained a new friend.  This was not at all intended.  I was quite happy with our single cat family, after losing two beloved pets, but for the first time ever Murray decided he wanted a pet.  We often 'puppy shop' at the 'free zoo' for fun on the weekends.  This never involves buying pets.  I just like looking at cute animals.  Never have I ever come home with a pet.  Or really wanted to.  But after one bout of 'puppy shopping' we got home and Murray decided he really wanted the cute fluffy cat at Animates.

I told him to sleep on it.  We don't just add pets to our family on the fly.  That's just a slippery slope to crazy cat personville.

And in the morning he still wanted the cat.  I had work so I said he could go back and find more out about the cat, and if he still wanted her that was ok with me.

And he went back and the cat was gone.  I got a forlorn text at work, so headed straight to Trademe to console him with other options as knew once Murray decided he needed a cat that would be it.

But he found one all by himself - at the Animates at Westgate.  So straight after work we went so I could check her out too.  Amonet is two years old and had been at the store for a while post SPCA*.  She was fine with Etta, was supposedly ok with other animals and was very friendly and playful.  So I said yes and after some paperwork and Etta destroying the cat toy section of the store, we took her home.

She settled in super well - better than any pet we've ever had before, and although we have had some teething problems with Roux she's fitting into our family well.  Etta loves her cos she lets her pat her, and we love her too.

Meet Amonet - cat not ape

In other than pet news not much has changed.  Murray has settled into his new job at Turners well (in a team full of marketing ladies he he he), and I pick up a few extra shifts at the video shop pretty often so work wise things are good.  Etta is in a tricky, frustrated stage right now so I've learned what it's like to deal with screaming babies on public transport (it sucks).  Etta's attempting to stand up by herself, but I think we're still a ways off walking.  Not too worried about it as is pretty common with tall babies (which she is) and super flexible babies (which she also is) - she'll get there when she's ready.  We still have a National government (boo), but that's not really a big surprise although it truly sucks for NZ (I will expand on my reasonings for this at a later date - promise)

I totally flaked on my 100 Days Project which I feel pretty bad about.  The whole family has had intermittent bouts of colds and horrid gastro issues (I'll post about that later) and in its wake the project fell by the wayside.  The stuff I was getting done was pretty cool, so I will try and get motivated to do more soon.

Badly drawn feminist #11

Right now though I'm focused on the small things: getting dinner ready, getting the vacuuming done, not letting the new cat out of the house, and posting this before Sesame Street finishes!

* Animates have SPCA cats and dogs available which is cool.  You even get to spend some one on one time with them before deciding to take them home to see if you think they'll fit into your family ok.  I have never bought a pet from a pet shop before because it feels a bit wrong for some reason, but this system is great.