A catch up

Days are hectic with a busy 16 month old who never naps longer than an hour.  The only reason I am writing now is because Sesame Street is on.  I was totally wrong about TV parenting.  Sometimes it's necessary.  Sesame Street grants me a magical one hour window where Etta doesn't climb into precarious places or turn off important switches (like the one controlling the router).  It's the only time I can DO anything because I attempt to nap during her nap cos still getting my iron levels sorted.

With too many ideas and no smart way of articulating them all cohesively in a post, I've decided this can be a catch up as much has happened in the last few months.

First of all, we have lost a loved friend.  Wellesley, after struggling with weird rabbit tooth problems (teeth growing the wrong way and creating abscesses in his jaw that kept coming back) had to get put down as we couldn't afford more surgery and we weren't sure his body would cope with it anyway.  This was a horrible day.

We had known it was coming, and he was an indoors bunny until then so we could look after him the best we could and spend as much time with him as possible.  We noticed he'd gone really downhill on my birthday, and booked him in as soon as we could after that so he didn't have to suffer any more.  He was a super awesome bunny and we really, really miss him.  We buried him next to Huckle and there are beautiful flowers growing over both of them.

 Etta giving Wells a kiss

Secondly, we have gained a new friend.  This was not at all intended.  I was quite happy with our single cat family, after losing two beloved pets, but for the first time ever Murray decided he wanted a pet.  We often 'puppy shop' at the 'free zoo' for fun on the weekends.  This never involves buying pets.  I just like looking at cute animals.  Never have I ever come home with a pet.  Or really wanted to.  But after one bout of 'puppy shopping' we got home and Murray decided he really wanted the cute fluffy cat at Animates.

I told him to sleep on it.  We don't just add pets to our family on the fly.  That's just a slippery slope to crazy cat personville.

And in the morning he still wanted the cat.  I had work so I said he could go back and find more out about the cat, and if he still wanted her that was ok with me.

And he went back and the cat was gone.  I got a forlorn text at work, so headed straight to Trademe to console him with other options as knew once Murray decided he needed a cat that would be it.

But he found one all by himself - at the Animates at Westgate.  So straight after work we went so I could check her out too.  Amonet is two years old and had been at the store for a while post SPCA*.  She was fine with Etta, was supposedly ok with other animals and was very friendly and playful.  So I said yes and after some paperwork and Etta destroying the cat toy section of the store, we took her home.

She settled in super well - better than any pet we've ever had before, and although we have had some teething problems with Roux she's fitting into our family well.  Etta loves her cos she lets her pat her, and we love her too.

Meet Amonet - cat not ape

In other than pet news not much has changed.  Murray has settled into his new job at Turners well (in a team full of marketing ladies he he he), and I pick up a few extra shifts at the video shop pretty often so work wise things are good.  Etta is in a tricky, frustrated stage right now so I've learned what it's like to deal with screaming babies on public transport (it sucks).  Etta's attempting to stand up by herself, but I think we're still a ways off walking.  Not too worried about it as is pretty common with tall babies (which she is) and super flexible babies (which she also is) - she'll get there when she's ready.  We still have a National government (boo), but that's not really a big surprise although it truly sucks for NZ (I will expand on my reasonings for this at a later date - promise)

I totally flaked on my 100 Days Project which I feel pretty bad about.  The whole family has had intermittent bouts of colds and horrid gastro issues (I'll post about that later) and in its wake the project fell by the wayside.  The stuff I was getting done was pretty cool, so I will try and get motivated to do more soon.

Badly drawn feminist #11

Right now though I'm focused on the small things: getting dinner ready, getting the vacuuming done, not letting the new cat out of the house, and posting this before Sesame Street finishes!

* Animates have SPCA cats and dogs available which is cool.  You even get to spend some one on one time with them before deciding to take them home to see if you think they'll fit into your family ok.  I have never bought a pet from a pet shop before because it feels a bit wrong for some reason, but this system is great.

On the first three weeks of 100 Days

Holy ship balls Batman!  It's already been three weeks!  Time flies when you're having fun (or home with a baby it seems).

And my 'holiday' week is almost at a close, I am yet to blog, and the baby could wake up at any moment.  Pressure is mounting.  Shhhhh, sleep bonus time baby!  Mama needs to write this blog.

Anyway, today I thought I'd just quickly post some highlights from the work I've done so far and talk a little about the process that has come about organically just because I'm making myself think about (and do) arts.

Firstly, the BEST part about day one (apart from how excited I was about it) was the recipe I made.  The limitations of the project (in terms of the website) is that you can only post one visual image (or video) when often times the process, or other results are equally as important as the end result.  This first day I ended up with so many things it was difficult to decide which part to post.  So here is my invented on the spot, totally awesome recipe for honey toffee:

1 cup white sugar
1/4 cup water
2 Tbsp honey (pretty sure any honey will work)
1 Tbsp vinegar

Put all ingredients into a small saucepan.  Heat over a medium heat until sugar has dissolved.  Bring to the boil and boil until the hard ball stage (when a little of the mix is dropped into ice water it hardens into a ball).  Pour into moulds or onto a tray for cracking later on.  Seriously tasty.  A little tackier than regular toffee cos of the honey component, but YUM AS!

After about day two, the excitement (and eccentricity) began to wear off as I realised I was going to have to do this EVERY DAY for 100 days, and most days I would also have Etta with me most of the time.  So the time dedicated to this came down, but the involvement of others with my project increased.  Two of the other days that were really fun were when I had directives from others - Ngaio via emailed instructions, and Etta via toy selection.

Taking my brain out of the equation for a bit was really lovely, and doing the potato cuts with Etta allowed us some lovely time outside in the sun - helped greatly by Mum popping over for a visit as Etta was far more interested in exploring outside than in painting.

Due to my lack of confidence with free hand drawing (after having not drawn since, well, pretty much art school) I didn't get around to doing this until day 9.  And around day 14 I drew something I actually liked. 

Simple, yes, but drawing something I like is a big deal, as I haven't done this in such a ridiculously long time.  This gave me the confidence to pick up a brush (drawing in water colours) and do more of what I haven't done in so long - draw with paint.

And after a directive from a horoscope on day 15 to basically be less slack with my far away friends, I used this to almost create a project within a project - a postcards to friends project.

The first person I thought of was a friend (Helen) who is in the UK currently, and sends her friends (me included) the awesomest cards.  One of the more recent things she had posted on her Facebook page was a painting of Mary Wollstonecroft.  Having read her book back at art school, and knowing that Helen considers herself a feminist, I thought it'd be nice to draw Helen a picture of this feminist legend.

I deciding to do so I realised I had a lot of feminist friends far away (and close by too) and that there were lots of feminists I could draw.  I also discovered my pretty much unused hahnmuhle postcard paper - perfect!  So for the first time in a long time, I got excited about painting.

Excited, but anxious.  People who don't draw may not realise that it really is a 'practise', meaning if you don't practice you aren't as good - just like sport.  Being out of practice with drawing means that I am not good at it like I once was back when I was drawing every day.  In fact, I'm awful.  So to feel confident about doing this at all I had to prefix this series with 'badly drawn' just to feel ok about doing it.  Sounds crazy, I know, but necessary to make me feel ok with practicing drawing in the very public eye of posting said drawing onto a website every day where anyone can view it.

And then yesterday I actually drew something I liked.  Now this has happened, I'm hoping it'll happen more and more, and who knows, maybe I'll actually be 'good' at drawing again.

More importantly, I've created a small space in my life to draw in. It is usually quite late at night (between 8.30pm and 10pm) and takes up very little time, but it's becoming a habit.  And that's what's important.  Because maybe it means I'll have some sort of art practise again.  Which is super exciting, and wouldn't have come about without me making myself do something, which I wouldn't have probably done without the 100 Days Project.

I can't wait to see how things develop.

On My 100 Days Project

This is a quick post cos IT'S DAY ONE OF THIS PROJECT.  Luckily for me the planets have aligned and there will be someone else home tomorrow to help mind the midget which makes starting seem slightly more achievable.

So I already enlightened you fullas on the reasons why I was doing this in my last post but only hinted at what it would be.

Watch this:

. 

You kinda need to watch the whole series to really get why this is inspiring, but you probably get the general idea.

No, I don't want to put my life at risk for art or science.  But I do want to do ridiculous things as dictated by my interpretation of my daily horoscope.  Because ever since I first saw Dave Gorman's Important Astrological Experiment I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.  Bless and damn you Josh Knight!

Like Dave Gorman, I'm gonna go with the multi-horoscope approach, because otherwise it'd just be boring.  I'm simplifying 20 down to 5 though cos I just won't have time to read 20 horoscopes, formulate a plan and execute it every  day.  I am choosing to use what I consider to be pretty every day places to find your horoscope: The NZ Herald, Stuff, Woman's Weekly, Facebook and The Daily Mail.

From this, I plan to craft an art object of some kind from stuff around the house.

Today's five horoscopes say this:

NZ Herald:

Lions love to be in the public spotlight but today's stars encourage you to slow down and spend some quality time on your own. Solitude is soul food for you at the moment.

Stuff:

The proverb goes: Honey is sweet, but the bees sting. Today you'll take a calculated risk in order to taste the good side of life. The potential danger isn't too great, so go for it.

NZ Woman's Weekly:

There is a chance today to look more closely at the amount of give and take in your life, whether it's at work, in your social life or at home, with your emotional and intuitive responses to things likely to reveal where you may be doing too much for others, at the expense of your own needs. In the meantime, as the Moon returns to your work sector ahead of tomorrow's Full Moon there's a need to keep your finger on the pulse and your ear to the ground, especially on the work front.

Facebook

You have an incredibly strong influence on others just by virtue of the fact of your fun-loving, peaceful, and harmonious nature, Leo. Your natural charm will take you any place you want to go today, so feel free to use it at will. Accentuate the positive and make sure you're walking on the sunny side of the street. Whistle as you walk down the sidewalk and get out into the light.

The Daily Mail:
Highwaymen were once the scourge of the road network. With their dark hats, masks and horses, they terrorised travellers, forcing their carriages to a halt and declaring, 'Stand and deliver, your money or your life.' Yet whilst there may be many issues that concern the modern motorist, and plenty of wise preparations that should be taken before anyone goes for a drive, nobody nowadays worries about a problem like that. Is there a fearful reservation that is unnerving you, even though it is equally irrelevant?

So based on what this wise advice is telling me, today I will attempt to make honey flavoured whistlepops in solitude ie: without a recipe, and then I will dress like a highwayman and try to give them away for something in return.

Let's see how that goes.  Wish me luck.  I will need a lot of it.

On art or not to art

 

                                            The art of Robocake                                                              The art of DIY apothecary

 The art of fridge display

So, you know how recently I posted about Etta sleeping through the night and me having time to do more fun stuff?

Well, that was short lived as Etta's had a cold for about a week and her sleep has reverted to waking two to six times a night.  Babies huh?  Can't live with 'em, can't continue the human race without 'em.

And before that happened, I made a decision to take part in something to help encourage me to try and be more creative.  So I thought the perfect place to start was with the 100 Days Project.  Back in my prior life as an art student, many of my earlier projects (2nd year painting) were focused around the repetition of a certain thing daily (or hourly) in a set time frame.  So this appeals.  Also, the scope is broad enough that I can pretty much make it work for me.  Initially, I set my sights low (make and photograph a cup of tea a day - talking about the importance of self care), but then decided it wouldn't really push my brain much, so I've decided to be just slightly more ambitious.

I argue with myself a LOT over whether to make art or not in general.  In light of having made a person, it now seems trite.  I stopped writing poetry because it just seemed lame.  Please don't take offense my poetry peoples I'm just being honest.  Post-Etta I'm just not in the head space to write apart from stuff like this.  It just doesn't make sense to me any more.  It may be temporary.  And it's not writers block, it's a gut wrenching aversion to writing poetry (as in if I try, I feel like puking on myself in shame).

And making art feels similar, but not the same.  There is still fun in 'making' for me, but there is no fun in 'wanking'.  By this I mean I enjoy the act of doing and creating, but I have absolutely no desire to put it into a social framework, or seriously look at art that does that.  This is not just cos I have no brain (although I'm sure it's a part of it), but also that I'm finding it hard to dedicate thought to something as esoteric as fine art.

Because at the moment, my life is too basic.  It is about eating, sleeping, working, surviving.  And with an election coming up, and even The Lego Movie taking the piss about NZd's poverty situation (right around 1.27, sorry, couldn't find a shorter clip), I feel like I have bigger things to worry about than whether people can view my knitted vibrators within the context I've created around them.  And I'm not one of those romantic people who think that art can change the world (sorry, I'm an asshole).  I'm more of a food sharing on social media type.  I'm a teach-people-how-to-grow-and-cook-food type.  I'm more a lets-change-the-world-by-voting-and-actions-and-education type.  And I knit vibrators.  That's not going to help with the poverty.  Trust me. 

I still enjoy art discourse, and am grateful I am still a little in the loop with being lucky enough to contribute to Ngaio Rue's Rework (which I encourage you all to read and comment on).  But it's hard for me to see it's validity in the same way as I did pre-Etta.  Most of my brain is dedicated to deciphering Auckland's ridiculous weather patterns in order to get nappies dry, and how to distract a baby while you cut it's claws, and working out meals we can all eat, and budgeting, and if I do X many hours of extra work what cool family thing can we do.  Which probably seems banal and boring.  But I guess I like being banal and boring.

I think that many people post art school with borderline practices, or non practices still feel this pressure to create.  I have spent a little time trying to reconcile this myself having dedicated four years to study, and much time to exhibition organising, writing, crafting and zineing since.  But the conclusion I've come to is that I utilise all these things, and all these aspects of me in my daily life, so I don't feel like I need (much of) another outlet.

I make up (and sing) stupid songs.  I build cool stuff with blocks.  I make yum (and pretty) foods.  I bake.  I play Etta's xylophone.  I work out creative ways to manage exhaustion (ie: fueling on coffee and sugar and bad films to stay awake - not hugely different from art school except that coffee used to be booze).  I engage in discourse around pirates with the Wiggles.  Basically, my life is just one giant arts party.

But I guess most of that party is being thrown for someone else.  Maybe.  I'm not totally sure on that one.  But it will probably be good for my brain if I try and focus some of that creativity on something a little more 'real world art'.  As practice.  For if I want to rejoin the grown up world some day.

So watch this space... I promise you there will be fun things to follow.  The only hint I'll give you as to what form my 100 Days Project (which starts on Friday) will take is this: DGIAE...

to be continued...