Etta in her boxing pose
I've found it difficult to write over the last few weeks so thought I'd write a fluff piece so that I don't forget how to write!
Stuff we considered when deciding on names were normal things like:
1) Will our family disown us for using this name?
2) Does the name remind us of anyone we don't like?
3) Will our child be able to have a grown up job (if they so choose) when they grow up, or will this name make that difficult?
4) Will their initials spell a bad word or abbreviation (like VPL)?
5) Will there be five other kids in our kids class with the same name?
6) How can you tease the kid about their name?
Kids get teased about their names no matter what they are, and no matter how average the teasing is, many kids are traumatised by this (Murray was traumatised by people singing 'Murrily, murrily, murrily murrily life is but a dream' - so lame). At least if you've thought of the nicknames already, you've got an idea of what you're in for (Etta the bedwetter and Etta Lee from Italy is what we've got so far. Thanks Jonathan Catt for providing us with the latter).
Thinking up baby names was one of the most fun things about pregnancy. Murray and I would play the 'what should we name our baby' game, usually in the car. This mostly consisted of him naming streets, or signs we'd driven past. 'Let's name her Militonia. Or how about Cron? Maybe BP?' Murray also really liked a bunch of quite traditional German names. Murray would have loved to name her Greta. Sadly for Murray there was a 'beauty' on Beauty and the Geek Australia called Greta who had buck teeth and was dumb as a post. Many others went the same way. We ended up with a shortlist of about three potential first names and a long list of maybe middle names.
We didn't want to name our baby before she was born. For starters, what if she was a boy?* But also what if she didn't fit the moniker we'd fixated on? I know lots of people do this and good on them, but it just wasn't what I wanted. In the end though, I did technically name her before she was born. I named her during labour. After a long time of being able to see her hair, and then her hair getting 'sucked' back up again a little voice in my head said 'Dammit Etta! Stop being so stubborn!' She had made her personality so apparent during birth that it was definitely an ok time to name her. Poor Murray though. Who's going to argue with a woman in labour about, well, anything? Luckily it was his favourite name from our shortlist so there was no need.
Etta is named after one of mine (and my parents) favourite blues singers Etta James. While Murray's 'go to' for finding baby names was street signs, mine was my CD collection (yes, I still have one of those). I was sad to see both Dusty and Dinah go by the wayside, but I agreed with Murray that they both sounded a bit too much like dog names (sorry Dusty and Dinah but they kinda do). And Etta felt like it just had more gumption. Etta James was not only amazing back in the 60's, but is still alive and performing now. She's a strong, stubborn woman with staying power. When our Etta got stuck but showed no distress in making her way into the world it must have been clear to my pain addled brain that this name fit her just right.
And there are other reasons it fits well too. Etta is a small name. Our Etta is a small girl. Etta's a bit of a different name in NZ. We're a little bit different for NZ (boardgames > rugby...) Etta's an old fashioned name. In some ways we're quite old fashioned folk (I knit and cook and Murray goes to work). Etta's a little bit 'country'. I'm a whole lot country - hell, I'm Hannah-May! And the names meanings seem to fit too. From America, it means 'little one' - and being almost three weeks early and stumpy like her Mum, she was. If we're taking the meaning from the original roots (Germanic), it means 'ruler of the hearth', and even though we don't actually have a hearth, Etta most certainly is the ruler of our home currently (particularly the heater).
After crafting a long list of middle names that referenced family members, we ended up giving her two 'joke' middle names. My favourite of our thought out middle names (Bethany) sadly just didn't fit with Etta** Neither did some of my other favourite 'family' names (Vera) - the surname 'Lee' ruins many a good name as it has the magical ability to turn names into adverbs (verily). We didn't think of her middle names until the day after she was born, and then we slept on them to be sure before letting folk know.
I was particularly unsure about Jemima because I know my Mother hates that name. Her hatred of that name is how it came to be discussed. When Mum was pregnant with my brother my Dad said he would be Jim one way or the other. So if he was a girl he would be Jemima. My Mum hated the name and so brought it up around her Mum and Nana in a sneaky play to get them to back her in not using the name. But Nana liked the name: 'It's a family name dear. We have a great Aunt Jemima and she smoked a corn cob pipe'. I told this story to Murray during the car name game. Then we realised we both quite genuinely liked it - the story just improved it. It would have been bad to name a kid Jemima in the 80's, but with Playschool long gone, that's no longer an issue. Murray also liked it because it also means we've craftily used Etta James's name in full.*** I think Mum will forgive us.
I was quite sold on Jemima already, but felt that Etta's full name needed something else. This was because we're probably only going to do this whole baby thing once, so it'd be nice to get as many names in (without being ridiculous) as we could. When Murray's workmates found out we were pregnant and that things were ok, they were over the moon. They nicknamed our unborn baby 'Celly' due to Murray's close working relationship with Excel, alongside knowing that I was spreadsheeting Etta's movements throughout the pregnancy. It was even joked that she was conceived via spreadsheet - which in many ways is kinda true. Unlike Jemima, Sally was never on any list, but when it came down to naming her, it just seemed to fit. Thank you First Assistance for assisting us with naming our baby!
Without Sally, her initials would incidentally be identical to her Nana's (Murray's Mum's). And without Sally her whole name wouldn't sound like a skipping rhyme: E-tta Sa-lly Je-mi-ma Lee.
And sounding like a skipping rhyme is another important thing to consider when naming a baby - well, it is for us. Her first initial is also shared with her Ella (my Mum), which is nice. And most importantly, her first initial is also the first letter in EXTEND, which is perfect for the child of a couple who walked down the aisle to the Bubble Bobble song. We totally clocked this baby naming business.
* Due to me being adamant in early pregnancy that Etta was a boy we came up with a FABULOUS boys name. There was only one we both liked, and if we ever have a boy, he may have very little choice but to live with being called Ulysses Samuel MacGyver Lee. Not worried about putting that out there for people to steal, cos in all honesty, who's gonna steal that?
** Bethany referenced my maternal Aunts Beth and Anne who don't have any children, and could be shortened to 'Betty', Murray's maternal Grandmother's name. Thought I did well with that one!
*** Technically not quite true. Etta James was actually born Jamesetta, but this was altered to fit and hey, I think Etta James sounds better.
