Live Below The Line: Day 5

So Friday was our last day of this challenge.

And while I learned a lot from doing this, I am not unhappy to see the back of it.  This is tough!  While it's not as tough as when I did the Ration Challenge a few years ago, it was still harder than I thought it would be, which was an eye opener.

Before doing the challenge I knew that it would be tough having to say 'no' to things.  I knew it would be tough going without even if I was hungry.  What I only knew after doing it, and analysing my diet afterward was exactly how much nutrition I would miss out on.  It's a lot more than I thought it would be.  I can appreciate a little better the challenges faced living on so little - and there are an increasing number of them in these unstable economic times.

   While pies are an affordable option at just over $1 per serve, they aren't exactly healthy..




Murray struggled with this - but he did get through.  I asked him a few questions this morning on how he found it:

Hannah: What did you miss eating the most?
Murray: Pies*

Hannah: And what was it that you missed most over all?
Murray: Just being able to snack.  Like, being able to get something from the pantry when I was hungry.

Hannah: How did eating this way impact you the most?
Murray: I was really tired.

Hannah: And what do you think the consequences would be of living like this long-term?
Murray: I don't imagine it would be very healthy.  Missing out on fruit.

A man of few words.

Anyhow, this is my analysis of specifically how much would be needed to boost this to a livable level.

The second cheapest apples at Pak-n-Save

Firstly, fruit.  I could afford one piece of the cheapest, in season, fruit for each of us a day.  In order to boost this to what is required, I need to boost it by the cost of one piece of fruit per person - preferably different to the other piece of fruit.  I have costed this by what is easily accessible to most - supermarket prices - and at a reliable per kg price.  So I went with apples at $1.99 per kg (they are sometimes half this price, but not reliably so).  To do this, we need to add another 38 cents per person per day to this budget.

Cheapest dairy available            

Secondly - and this was the thing we missed out most on - we need to add extra for dairy or dairy equivalents.  We were averaging about 1/4 of our daily requirement with what we had.  One serving of milk costs about 44 cents, my usual cheap dairy alternative costs 67 cents per serve.  The cheapest yoghurt costs a whopping 56 cents per serve, and cheese costs 55 cents per serve.  So the very least we could increase this by to meet this need is 66 cents per day - but for variety and health this should be closer to 77 cents.

We managed to make our protein quota most days, but it wasn't always healthy.  In an ideal world I would up this by about 21 cents - half the cost of a barn egg - per day.  This could equally be spent on healthier chicken, fish or beef options if used in meals that can be frozen and spread across a few weeks, or on nuts or tofu for those who opt not to eat meat.

And fibre... On review I could have made better decisions regarding the fibre I chose to use.  Brown rice is the same price as white rice, but takes longer to cook.  As like many who are time poor, I sacrificed nutrition for time.  Brown bread equally costs the same as white bread in the cheap bread stakes, and while we did eat brown bread, it was still cheap bread, full of sugar and other not ideal stuff.  Ideally, you'd have enough to buy slightly healthier loaves.  And ideally you'd have enough to indulge in different grains every now and again.  Grains are not too expensive.  I'd just add another 20 cents per day to make these more accessible.

I'm not adding anything for veges.  We did manage to make this quota most days - apart from when we were being fussy.  If you buy seasonally, and stick with the specials, this is achievable on this budget.  But to do this, other areas are sacrificed.  It's a hollow achievement when so much else is being missed out on. 

Carrots and onions are not super exciting,
but they are reasonably priced.

Given that an unhealthy diet is the highest preventable risk for poor health in Aotearoa, no-one should knowingly have so little money that they cannot eat healthily.  I mean, it's just straight up crazy.  The cost to our health system at the other end surely outweighs the cost of basic foods.  And this is not taking into account the cost poor health has on quality of life.  And while the majority of us do not live like this, many of us still do.  In fact, one in seven Kiwi households lives below the line.  That's a lot of Kiwis who are not having their basic nutritional needs met through no fault of their own.

At a minimum I'd say you need an extra $1.45 per adult per day to make this food budget able to meet nutritional needs.  This brings the total to $4.25 per day to get the nutrition needed - that's $29.75 per week per adult up just $9.80 on what is considered the current poverty line.  Remember, an average family of four spends $290 on food per week - for an equivalent family, this is still less than 1/3 of that.  It does not take much to lift a family from living without nutrition to just scraping by.

Going out for a coffee is a very important thing for some folk

But this is the minimum.  It does not leave room for price increases.  It does not leave room for cooking mishaps.  It does not leave room for days when you're too tired to cook, or are tired of eating rice or just feel like eating something more hearty.  It doesn't leave room for socialising - for having a friend over for a meal or going out for a coffee** - let alone a meal.  An extra $3 or $4 a week could change this.  It would allow for a coffee once a fortnight with friends, or to buy an extra can of beans, or a pie for those days when you're just not feeling it.  You could make an extra portion of a meal, or make a bigger meal to share with friends in potluck style.  An extra $3 would add the ability to be a little more like other people.  Which would make interacting with other people more comfortable.  To not be having to have others pay all the time.  To feel a little less trapped.  If I had $35 a week to feed myself - I think I would be ok.

Yes, the permanent increase of $25 to the base benefit will help with this.  Free school lunches will help with this.  But other things need to occur for this to be helpful.  Rent, food and power prices need to stabilise.  Transport costs need to stop rising.  Minimum wage should be a living wage.  And while rental rates are frozen at the moment, and public transport costs lowered, these are not long term solutions.  While $25 will make a significant difference to someone living on their own, it will be just a drop in the bucket for bigger families.

For those of us who are spending that average amount, for whom having so little is almost inconceivable, we are in a position to make a difference.  Firstly, we can give.  If we can survive on $10 less a week for food which given the example above, many of us can - we can give that to those who need it more.  By donating food to places like the Salvation Army and St Vincent De Pauls, which you can do at most supermarkets these days.  Or by making regular donations to KidsCan - you can start this from as little as $15 per month - this is achievable for many of us.  Or we can just check in with our friends and whanau that have less than we do, and see if they're doing ok.  Charity begins at home.

But the biggest thing we can do costs us nothing at all.  We can vote.  We can vote with those most in need at the heart of our vote.  We can vote to raise these households to a livable standard.  We can vote to fill hungry tummies, to lift the burdens from those single parents having to calculate every meal, every day, by themselves with no break ever in sight.  If we lift these people up, think of the possibility of not only their futures, but our future as a country.  These children could be our future academics, our sports heroes, our teachers, our changemakers.  What are we missing out on when we do not give these one in seven households the same opportunities we have?  We are missing something greater than tax breaks.  We are missing our humanity.  And we have the ability, every single one of us, to make a difference.




* While pies are an affordable option, on this diet, I was doing my best to meet our needs nutritionally, so I avoided them.

** You may not think of this as a necessity, but if you'd seen and spoken to the elderly folk that live around my work in the week following Lockdown you'd have some understanding of just how important this element of socialising is to many.  There is a coffee shop directly outside of my work and for many folk that live in the residential apartments nearby, a coffee and a chinwag with mates is just a part of their weekly routine.  One women in her 80's told me that she would not survive if she had to go into Lockdown again and she was dead serious.  It was because she missed getting out and socialising.  Socialising is a normal and important aspect of being human.

Live Below The Line: Day 4

So here is the funny thing that happened on Thursday.

A coffee and a muffin treat for me!

Last week at work I got an incentive for doing something good.  It was $10 for a coffee and a muffin.  I hadn't realised they meant it literally until they asked for the receipt today.  While I absolutely appreciate the kindness from my wonderful superiors I just don't usually buy coffee and muffins so just hadn't yet.  But then yesterday they needed the receipt for petty cash...  So I went and bought a coffee and a piece of cake which I could not eat.  I gave the coffee to a colleague in the lunchroom and popped the cake into the fridge.  I'm sure it'll still be good on Saturday and will be very welcome after this challenge has finished.

But lets get back on track.

I have eaten rice every day of this challenge.  And I will be eating it tomorrow too.  And there's a reason for that.  Like many folk with similar health issues I try to follow a low FODMAP diet to lessen the inflammation which causes me pain.  The thing with FODMAPS is that everyone's issues are different - usually only 2 - 3 groups of those six are an issue for most.  I used to have major problems with gluten.  Since having kids this has improved slightly, but I still try not to have it too much.  I have issues with lactose and some foods high in fructose.  The worst reactions I've had have been to things high in sulphites - particularly those used in sausages and salami.  So while I'm not allergic to any of this eating it can still cause me quite a bit of pain.

Coeliac symptoms in adults

Rice is a cheap, safe bet.  Gluten free bread and pasta was far to expensive to even consider.  If I were doing this challenge for longer I'd try to add in some other gluten free grains like sorghum or buckwheat - but at over double the price of white rice it's still a tough call.  One of the reasons our dairy intake has been so low is that I can't drink milk.  It makes me ill.  I had less than 1/4 of a cup per day over this challenge, and that was pretty much the max I can tolerate*.  I couldn't afford my usual almond milk.  There is no way anyone can have their dietary requirements met with so few funds, and folk with health issues are also unable to manage their health needs.

If you are a beneficiary you can apply for a disability allowance to help cover costs incurred for those with ongoing health issues.  You can use this to buy specialty foods.  When I worked at The Gluten Free Grocer I did WINZ quotes for families with Coeliac disease often.  Coeliac disease is an autoimmune disorder which affects about 1 in 70 Kiwis - this rate is higher here than in most parts of the world.  The consumption of gluten negatively impacts on their autoimmune system, meaning that eating it lowers their bodies ability to keep itself safe.  Between 10 - 30% of cancer patients also have an autoimmune disorder.  These have a huge impact on someone's quality of life and longevity.  Still, WINZ often rejected applications.  And if you were someone like me, where it was recommended by a Dr but not considered 'necessary', that rejection would be all the more likely.  When you are living on not enough, even an extra $10 a week makes a huge difference.  I always encouraged people to try.

So what did we eat on day 4?

We ate not a lot.  The protein filled night of day 3 did its job and I wasn't crazy hungry.  Murray also had a busy work day and just ran out of time for lunch.  So we didn't eat a lot, how was our nutrition?

Well, not great.  Even though the egg fried rice was full of veges, they would have only equated to one serving in the lunch version.  And daal, whilst delicious, healthy and filling contains just one serving of veg per serve.  Our protein was borderline - definitely a full serving in split peas, and maybe a half serving in the egg fried rice.  Fibre was still basic and we still cannot afford to eat any more fruit.  So it's probably a 1.5/5 day nutritionally.  So even though we both felt ok, eating like we did today is not going to serve us long term.

            Our daal and naan dinner - very delicious and affordable but not a lot of substance

So tomorrow I will write about the last day and also interview Murray to see what his thoughts were.  I know he found it tough - he hasn't had to eat on this restricted a diet in decades.  I'll also cost out how much more would be needed to meet nutritional needs for adults with our current economic conditions.

* I can eat some other dairy that is lower in lactose with no problems - like hard cheeses and yoghurt, but with so little funds this was just not an affordable option.

Live Below The Line: Day 3

Aside from nutrition, one of the biggest challenges with doing this challenge is limited choice.  Limited funds limits the choices available to you.  One of the hardest things was deciding not to buy free range eggs for this challenge.  We usually always do.  But free-range eggs are over double the price of the cheapest cage eggs - so in order to up our protein, which is still sorely lacking in this diet, we had to go with the cheapest option.  I put nutrition over ethics.

My Mum does this.  She's a vegetarian.  I don't think she's eaten meat in more than fifteen years.  She'd prefer to buy free-range, but she has limited funds.  She will not be alone in having to make these kinds of sacrifices.  Families NZ wide make these kinds of choices each week at the grocery store.  And other places too.  Families having to choose between turning a heater on or being able to have credit on their phone.  Selling their car to cut down on maintenance expenses so they can afford school trips.  Parents skipping meals to ensure their kids have enough in their lunch boxes.

While I don't agree with all that Labour does,   
this plan is a good'un                     

Speaking of which, our school is one of the lucky ones benefiting from the Free Lunches In Schools programme.  It happened very quickly - the budget was announced then exactly one week later - poof!  The lunch programme is on.  What is fantastic about it is that it doesn't single those in need out.  The food is available for everyone.  While we did have Kidscan lunches available at our school prior to this, the way these were dispersed was tricky.  The teachers had to make a sneaky informed guess at who was missing out that day, then send a message to reception who would ensure they had a lunch.  And while Kidscan is an amazing charity that I wholeheartedly support, it is limited.  It can't afford to feed everyone.  Those with the paperbag Kidscan lunches were more obvious.

As a kid who grew up with less I know how tough that is.  I went to a small, high decile school - you could count the poor kids on one hand - we stood out.  And as a kid that was different in other ways it was just another thing that made me feel left out.  The great thing about the free lunch plan is it removes the need for othering.  All the kids are allowed to say yes to some free lunch.  Our kids go to school with ample lunches they pack themselves and they've said yes to parts of the school lunch.  Etta tried peaches the other day.  She would never try them at home, but her friends were having them.  Not only does this plan fill empty tummies and helps everyone do better in the classroom, but it builds a sense of community.  Like the whakatauki in Abby's classroom says - 'He waka eke noa.' - we are all in this together.

Anyhow, on to what we ate yesterday.

The cheapest meat I could find.

Yesterday was the one day I bought meat for.  And the only reason I could buy meat was because I found this bargain at Pak 'n' Save a week ago and popped it into the freezer.  The only thing I could have got cheaper that was actual meat, was chicken bones.  Since the rise of MKR, even offal is dearer than this.

And I am so glad that I did.  After just two days eating on limited funds, we were both hungry.  Murray felt dizzy on the way home from work and I was grumpy and hungrier than usual and very excited about the prospect of dinner.  The thing that high protein foods do is keep you full for longer.  While carbs are a good stopgap, they are not a great long term fix.  If you want energy to last through the day you need to eat decent protein (which is why many nutritionists recommend having protein based breakfasts when you are trying to lose/or maintain a healthy weight).  So with this chicken, egg fried rice and some peanuts we actually managed to make our recommended protein quota for the day - but having it at the end of the day meant we lost out on all that it could have given us earlier on.

Consequently, this was our biggest spend day.  We both ate more than planned WAY over the daily of $5.70, but with that pittance of food on Monday, we're still on track with budget for the week.  This does mean there is no wriggle room in what we eat over the next two days though, and that makes me feel a bit nervous.  How did we do in the other areas of nutrition? 

We managed to make our vege quota.  This is because I bought seasonally and on special - I got a massive cauliflower from Countdown for $2 and used 1/2 of it in dinner.  Brocolli is reasonably priced at the moment so we had 1/4 of this too.  This plus the mixed veges in the egg fried rice, plus the carrot and corn with our lunch means we had 3 - 4 servings of veg - but still only one serving of fruit.  We also dipped out in the whole grains and our dairy intake was basically negligible - I maybe had 1/4 of my daily dietary requirements so am thankful broccoli is also a good source of calcium.

                                                            Winner winner chicken dinner

So was the food delicious?  Yes!  I like egg fried rice and veges and ginger and chicken.  But did it meet our nutritional requirements?  No.  2/5 is not a passing mark.  And the type of meat you can afford on this budget isn't exactly the healthy kind.  We usually buy skinless chicken breast if I'm using chicken - a good, low fat, healthy protein.  A whole chicken leg with skin and fat and bone isn't exactly healthy, but if I'm hungry, there is no way I'm getting rid of any of it.

Tune in tomorrow to see how I coped with work and this challenge.  I have a funny story to tell you...

Live Below The Line: Day 2

Daily posting is going to be a challenge in itself!  So I will keep these posts brief.

Yesterday went more to plan than Monday.  So I can show you how we spent that days money.  We went a little over what was planned because Mum, bless her heart, decided to make naan bread and give us some.  Because we went so far under budget on Monday, I factored it in and we had a garlic naan entree which was very much welcomed by Murray who had his first day back in the actual physical office* yesterday since the start of lockdown.

This is what we ate yesterday:

Now before I go into the nutritional deficits I want to talk about costings.  I have costed this by the cost of the purchased ingredients, divided by the quantity used.  I googled every single item to check the weight by cup or equivalent measure to ensure this was accurate.  I purchased from where I usually do (Pak n Save and our local Asian grocer) and while I did swap for cheaper brands where possible, I did keep to our usual brands on a few things (mostly because our usual brands are cheap!)  The licorice tea is cheaper than it usually would be because I bought it a while ago at the Clearance shop for cheap.  The black tea is Homebrand - also very cheap.  We opted for the cheapest fruits and veg - which are, incidentally, what is currently in season.  I honestly tried to get as much bang for our buck as we could without changing much about where and how we usually shop.

So lets look at what adults are supposed to eat every day and see how today's eating stacks up:

Two servings of fruit and three servings of vegetables
At least six servings of grains
At least two servings of dairy or dairy equivalents
At least two servings of legumes OR one serving of seafood, eggs, poultry or meat.

 Abby's mandarin tree.  We have seven fruit
trees, all fruiting age (three first fruiting this year)
The ability to plant and own fruit trees is a privilege.

The obvious outlier is we are missing a fruit serving.  And while we could have had another kiwifruit instead of the naan, you must remember that this was extra.  We were being polite to my Mum, and this was not planned for.  I worked really hard on this budget, and while there was wriggle room for another piece of fruit on some days, there was not room every day.  If we could eat the fruit that we get for free from our neighbours, or our own trees, we could have made up that deficit.  But the fact we have fruit trees, and friends with fruit trees is a privilege.  So for this week, like those without these privileges, we make do with less.  We DID have enough servings of vegetables.  This is mostly because we had left over salad from a family BBQ on Sunday which we did not want to waste so costed it out and had it with dinner.  The salad, plus the corn in the fritters, plus the carrot snack and in the soup makes our vege tally about four.  So that's good news.

Last nights dinner - filling and tasty, although the salad was weird
(2 leftover salads mixed together)

In the grains department we make it to about five servings if we count the Anzac biscuit and popcorn together as a serving.  We had rice with our soup.  The problem is, ALL the grains in todays diet were not whole.  All were the cheap options - white rice, white flour etc.  So nutritionally, it doesn't quite hit the mark.  Dairy is very much lacking.  I'd stretch and say we each had about one serving with the feta in the salad, the yoghurt in the naan bread and the milk in our breakfast and coffee put together.  The protein is also a miss.  We did have one serving of legumes with the soup for lunch and had about 1/4 of an egg in the corn fritters (as they serve 4 meals), and a few walnuts in the salad but that's it.

And I was trying!  I was really trying to create filling, balanced, healthy meals.  And while it certainly wasn't the worst diet a person could have, it still missed the mark.  The amount of money is just not enough to buy those expensive things - the dairy, the simple proteins, the fruit.  So did I go hungry yesterday?  No I did not.  Was all my food awful?  No it wasn't.  But my nutritional needs were not met.  This is why the kids are not doing this challenge.  While they could easily subsist on a diet of tomato soup, plain pasta, white bread and noodles and come under budget, they shouldn't.  They are growing.  They are learning.  They are kids.  But many kids do.  And it isn't about parenting, it's about a simple lack of funds and trying to keep those tummies full.  Simple carbs achieve that.

Tune in tomorrow where I will show off the only meal with meat for the week and sing the praises of the new Lunches In Schools programme.

* He slipped up and had a coffee at work which has a fancy pod machine, so I had to factor that in.  An expensive slip at 50c a coffee!  Hoping it doesn't happen again today as we don't have much more wriggle in our budget.

Living Below The Line - Day one

So this is awful timing for this challenge, but also, a really good time to do a challenge that illustrates what it is like for many Kiwis right now.  Coming out of lockdown with all the uncertainty of living in this post-Covid world I think it's important that everyone learns to live with less.  Because there but for the grace of God go I.  Right now, we are financially ok.  But had we worked in different industries, this would not have been the case.  For those of us who are ok, we should have a little empathy, and give our strength and support to those who are not.

I don't expect sponsorship.  I know times are tough for many which is exactly why I am doing this.  If you can afford to, and you want to just click on the link here and nominate any amount.  Otherwise, if reading this makes you feel bad, just check in on your neighbours and whanau.  Make sure they're doing ok.

My desire to write today specifically is spurred by the governments latest payment scheme.

Their plan to increase benefits for those who lose their jobs due to Covid may seem nice on the surface.  But the reality is that it shelters those who do from the reality of living on a benefit in New Zealand.  From the reality of tracking the amount you, or your partner earns to ensure it doesn't inversely affect your income.  From the reality of being hungry, of having to plan everything, of having no flexibility, little choice, in your daily life.  Creating this difference - between pre-Covid and post-Covid beneficiaries enforces the ideology somehow these job losses are different.

I know you are a good person Carmel.  Surely you can see how wrong this is.

And it allows the government to continue paying an unlivable benefit.  It allows those whose recent misfortune is now buffered to say things like 'Well, I lost my job and I'm still managing!'  It allows this division of thinking to continue.  My mother worked hard her whole life until her health no longer allowed her to.  Like thousands of other New Zealanders.  And our previous government got rid of the Sickness Benefit.  So, those who have been less fortunate in the health department, like my Mum receive 'Jobseekers support'.  The same as their able bodied peers.  This means that they all have to get signed off by Drs regularly.  Even if they have chronic conditions they must provide paperwork to WINZ otherwise their benefit will be cut off.  This is the case for those going through chemo, those with disabilities, those with chronic illness, those with mental illness.

What this payment says is that these people, who have also ended up in the system through no fault of their own, are worth less than those who recently lost their jobs.  That everyone else who may have lost their jobs, every other person who, through circumstance, was on a benefit before Covid-19, is worth less.  Even though they have managed to survive on a pittance for, in some cases, decades, they still do not deserve a livable income but somehow the recently impoverished do.  This truly sickens me.

Anyhow, I digress.  Now, to the challenge.

Today, and tomorrows, morning coffee.  Farewell Avalanche.

Murray is doing it with me to make cooking simpler (I am pleasantly surprised).  We have to subsist on $2.85 each per day for food for five days.  Now, I know many folk who live well below this.  I know people who've had to live with less than $10 to feed themselves.  But in the context of the rest of New Zealand, an average family of 2 adults and two children spend about $290 per week on food.  This amount is just over 1/4 of that amount.  What I'm hoping to illustrate over this week though is the extra work involved in managing living on so much less.  The amount of time I have to put into managing our budget.  The lack of choice.

Lentil and carrot is the soup of the next two days

I also need to say that I come to this challenge with a lot of privilege.  I did accounting right through school (a positive side effect of growing up poor), so I can budget well.  I have worked in the food industry and have an interest in nutrition, so cooking for health is not difficult for me.  I have more time than many.  Yes I have kids and work 26 hours per week, but that is less than many, especially our working poor.  I also live close to civilization and have access to reliable transport, childcare and internet.  And when this is over I know I can order from my favourite local Indian restaurant.  All of this privilege means that my window into this week is rose tinted.  This is not a picture of the reality for those living in poverty.

Because of this privilege I planned and budgeted this week in advance leaving room (money) aside for alterations.  I am so glad I did this because on the first day I was horribly ill.  This meant I had no interest in cooking, or eating, the food I had planned.  And while this did save some money, it did mean that the nutrition in my diet yesterday was non-existent.  This is what me and Murray ate yesterday.  It's pretty empty.

Were I sick under normal circumstances, I would have filled it differently.  I would have had lemonade, or gingerale.  But on this budget, this wasn't possible.  Murray's epilepsy means he can no longer drive, and I was not well enough to go far.  So this would have to come from a dairy, and would cost at least $1.50 - $4.00.  This was not  a cost I could justify given the amount we have for this week.  Equally, after my visit to A&E (only possible because we aren't in poverty, otherwise it'd have had to be Waitakere Hospital) I might have bought some fries from McDonalds.  At the exorbitant price that they are for something nutritionally negligent and small, this also was not justifiable.

Compare what we ate yesterday with what we are supposed to eat in a healthy diet.
In a healthy diet, this is what an adult should be eating daily:

Two servings of fruit and three servings of vegetables
At least six servings of grains
At least two servings of dairy or dairy equivalents
At least two servings of legumes OR one serving of seafood, eggs, poultry or meat.

While Monday's food is not fairly representative of what we had planned, I can tell you there is no way you can meet these nutritional needs on a poverty budget.

Just from planning our meals I can see how very easy it would be to just opt for high carb, high calorie, filling foods.  They are cheaper and easier to prepare.  Using the same budget I could just eat toast for breakfast, 2 minute noodles for lunch and a pie and oven chips for dinner.  And I'd have a little left over for crisps or biscuits or maybe some cheap fruit.

Anyhow.  I need to save some of this vitriol for later.  Tune in tomorrow to see a proper days eating and watch me break it down nutritionally to show you the deficits. 

Some Things People In Poverty Don't Have

I have a sort of hangover from growing up in poverty.  Consequently, there are things people who grew up in other socioeconomic climes expect to be normal for a household that will not be normal for ours.  It's hard to place value on things if you've managed your entire life without them.

I do not think my list will be consistent with other poverty stricken homes - we were just a bit poor.  But I think it might be an interesting insight nonetheless and was inspired by a fantastic article I read yesterday.

1) Tissues
I have never lived with tissues.  Never ever.  I even felt resentful recently buying tissues for Kindy when a tissue donation was asked for (but I did it anyway because those kids are germ bags and we can afford to donate more easily than some other Kindy families).  What is wrong with using toilet paper?  If you come to my house and ask for a tissue and then look dismayed when I say I don't have any, please don't be offended if I flick you a bit of stink eye.  I have offered you paper of a marginally different quality.  You can still wipe your nose with it.  I offered to help with your nose leakage.  I am a good hostess.

The same goes for paper towels.  I have to admit, recently I did start buying paper towels because they are quite handy for some things - especially now we have kids, but I cannot say I don't look at them and see them as a reminder in my class shift.  Even if they are Budget brand.

2) Icecream
We don't carry icecream.  We never had icecream growing up unless we were visiting Grandma Thompson's house.  Then we'd have a slice from a cardboard box of vanilla icecream after lunch as was her tradition.  And we did have it on special occasions.  The no icecream thing wasn't just a money thing - it was a living-in-an-isolated place thing.  Like, it would melt by the time we got home so it was pretty pointless buying it.

When I was a teenager, a while after my parents separated, we were slightly better off financially.  Mum would buy icecream (neopolitan) - I think it was to make up for our less privileged childhood - but it would sit in the freezer uneaten until it went icy.  Well, sometimes the chocolate would get eaten but not the rest.  The thing was that we were so unused to having it that it felt weird to have it so we would forget we had it, or feel strange about having it.  Icecream was just stressful.

Today, we don't usually* have icecream in the freezer because we have a tiny freezer which needs to accommodate other more important items - like frozen meals and sausages (now that I've bred minions that eat mostly sausages).  And because it does still kinda stress me out.

3) Oranges, grapes and berries                                    Gooseberry gathering

I think this may still resonate with maybe the older generations.  I used to just have oranges at Christmas.  I'd get one in my Christmas stocking and it was a treat.  Consequently, I think I'm programmed to see oranges as a rich person food and something only for special occasions.  I like oranges.  I don't think they're the best fruit around, but they are nice and refreshing and enjoyable.  Our house has an orange tree.  It produces pretty good oranges.  I STILL struggle to eat them.

And grapes and berries** were totally the realm of the rich.  We only had them at parties hosted by other people and for fear of eating too many and being reprimanded I just left them alone.  I struggle to eat grapes now (I actually hate the texture of their skins and pips), but berries have come a little easier.

This has been aided by my decision to start a berry patch.  After realising they grew well under the orange tree, and seeing how much our kids enjoyed picking them (as I also did as I child) I thought this a marvelous plan.  It currently homes cape gooseberries, blueberries and a thornless boysenberry, and we've JUST put in strawberries - so will hopefully have a berryful Summer.  We can do this though because we are lucky to be home owners and live somewhere with good soil.

4) Any green vegetable we didn't grow ourselves
Apart from frozen peas (which I despised).  Otherwise we just had silverbeet and in Summertime sometimes beans.  I don't think I had broccoli until I was a teenager.  Or spinach.  I adore both.  I still won't buy either unless they hit a magical price number I have stashed in my brain.  If it's on special I will buy extra for my Mum.

The plus side of this is that as a grown up I have a garden abundant with simple greens - silverbeet, spinach and kale.  And instead of icecream our freezer teams with blitzed silverbeet - handy for making lasagne, ravioli and saag aloo.  And free and nutritious.

Our silverbeet and kale (today)

5) Store bought biscuits
This will have been a combination of having not a lot of money, and also being country folk who grew up in the women-bake-for-the-shearing-gang kind of mentality.  Mum made bread, scones, pikelets, peanut brownies, louise slice, albert slice, ginger slice, animal biscuits (my childhood favorite - chocolate with a hint of spice) and rice bubble squares.

We had no need for such things as bought biscuits.  I felt pretty spoilt.  Shop biscuits were reserved for times of year like Christmas, where someone in the family would no doubt gift us one of those Sampler boxes and we'd argue over who got the biscuits with real chocolate on them.

6) Chicken
Are you fucking kidding me?  That shit was expensive!  Besides sausages and mince, I don't think we really bought meat.  We just got whatever we were allowed from the farm.  And a few times we kept our own pigs, so had pork and bacon and stuff.  But chicken was for fancy people because they came from the shops.  Because if you've ever eaten one of your hand raised chickens you will know that they taste very different to what comes from Tegal.  And not in a good way.

The teeny tiny primary school I mostly went to.  Lots of happy memories in the library here.

7) School trips & Extra curricula activities
Kids at my school went to swimming lessons.  They studied piano and gymnastics and dance.  Living in an isolated area on a limited income meant this was just not possible for our family.  My extra-curricula time was spent in the school library reading or playing computer games or writing kiddy novellas whilst Mum cleaned the school (she was the cleaner).  When a brownie troop started up locally though, I was allowed to go!  This was a definite highlight of my childhood.  I felt very lucky.  There were still no local extra-curricula activities for the boys in our area.

We didn't miss every school trip.  But we couldn't afford to go on the bigger ones.  The senior school at my teeny tiny primary school went to the Whakapapa ski fields one year.  I couldn't go.  I was not alone, but there were only a few of us who couldn't (it was a high decile school).  Things like this fed into the thinking that we were different to our peers - those shared experiences that we missed out on.

I have still never been to the snow.  Truthfully though, I don't think I'd like it.  I suspect it's very cold.

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So these are the things I remember.  I had a pretty good childhood, and would have actually been relatively unaware of most of the things my parents struggled with.  We also didn't often eat out, or have sweets, or have takeaways - but this hasn't really seemed to impact on my psyche too much.  I remember that food was harder to come by when Dad took a break from farming for a bit (no free farm meat) and our diet shifted significantly.  We were lucky that my parents often worked in jobs where they got food on the side - orchards, market gardens and the local venison farm Game Meats.

Mum and I have talked about this quite a bit.  And I think it would be helpful to contrast my list with some of the things she finds hard to afford now living alone on a benefit today.  I have summarised a little as her list was understandably long. 

1) Choice
When you are poor, you have less choice.  It doesn't matter how ethical you are, or wish to be - there is no way you can afford things like eco-products or free range eggs or olive oil.  You can never afford to buy premium brands because every cent counts and is counted.  Mum usually cooks a family size meal and eats the same thing for dinner 3 - 4 nights in a row as she has little freezer space to store meals.  It is boring, but it is the most affordable way to eat nutritious and filling meals. 

And if you are tired and don't want to cook, you can't just get takeaways or go to a restaurant because it's just not financially feasible.  As a treat Mum will sometimes get some hot chips, but that's about it.

Hot chips are a treat

2) Technology
Internet, smartphones, Freeview - these are all things Mum doesn't have that most of us take for granted.  We tried to help get her set up with Freeview - bought a Freeview box and a newer TV (she had an old style boxy one) and a super aerial thing, but because of where she lives - still no Freeview.  It costs about $300 to have a proper aerial installed which she can't afford - and we can't afford to do for her either - especially because it's for a rental property that she may have to leave at any given time.

And internet... To use this at home, she needs a smartphone as this is the only affordable way she could manage it.  Mum can't afford to buy a smartphone.  Yes, these days you can get them for $40 - but this is still $40 she does not have, and is double the price of a non smart-phone.  And yes, you can get a basic Skinny package for $16 per month which includes 1GB of rollover data - but that's still $4 less per week to spend on food.  This is still out of reach for lots of people.  Yes, Mum can access the internet at her local library (and does).  This is not remotely the same as having internet on hand 24/7.

3) Snacks
It is hard enough to afford meals let alone things to eat in between.  You just have to eat less.  Mum doesn't eat breakfast either (although to be fair, I can never remember her eating breakfast - might be something similar to me and oranges).  And even though we live in a country which grows some amazing produce, fruit is unaffordable - especially outside of the peak harvest seasons of Summer and Autumn.  So while this should be a good snacking option, it's just not easy to do for half of the year.

4) Cleaning, sanitary and skin care products
When you have a teeny wee food budget, buying things that are non-food can cut out a lot of money you could use on veges or bread.  Mum also has a citrus allergy, so can't buy a lot of the cheaper cleaners or even basic hair care products because they are lemon, grapefruit or lime based and cause her skin to peel off and give her a hayfever type reaction.  She doesn't have to buy fancy ones, but just regular priced cleaners are usually at least $4, which is still unaffordable.

And moisturiser?  Even the cheap one that we use (which is Olay for sensitive skin) costs about $12 a bottle.  And even if that bottle lasts for ages, you still have to come up with the $12 in the first place.  Which might mean buying no eggs or cheese for two weeks (which is Mum's main source of protein as she is vegetarian).

5) Money for leisure
It is hard to have hobbies, because most of them cost money.  Mum can't afford to go swimming let alone join a gym. Even baking biscuits costs extra - especially with the cost of butter these days.  She cannot go 'get her hair or her nails did' - she can't afford haircuts at all.  Same goes for shopping for new clothes.  She cannot afford to travel - even locally - because petrol is expensive.  Mum can barely afford craft supplies from $2 shops to make things at home with***.

6) Prescriptions and Pet care
Mum has a permanent disability but is not on a sickness benefit because they no longer exist (they have been absorbed into the 'jobseekers benefit').  And even though she has had three failed surgeries (and one upcoming), her GP will not sign her off onto an invalids benefit even though simple things - like walking - can be difficult for her on bad pain days.

Because she has no dependents, in order to be eligible for the prescription subsidy, she needs to get 20 prescriptions per year for herself.  This is $100 worth of prescriptions - and that's just if the medications are already subsidised.  This is on top of GP costs.  Sometimes she cannot afford to fill her scripts and has to wait, in pain, until she can afford to.  This is not uncommon for people on benefits.

Pets are important for our well-being        

Equally, taking her cat to the vets is very difficult.  Vet bills are expensive and unpredictable (we spent over $3000 on a rabbit who was then euthanised...)  I do not feel it is fair to say poor people cannot have pets.  Mum lives alone.  Humans need comfort from other animals.  Remember Maslows monkeys?  Having pets is now thought to promote longevity in humans and more and more hospitals and rest-homes now use pet therapy.  When life is hard, a little warmth is important.

7) Electricity and water
Speaking of warmth, Winter is especially hard because it is cold.  Mum is aware of how much power costs, so uses it sparsely, which means she doesn't use a heater even though her home is cold and uninsulated.  The same goes for water.  Washing is done sparingly and showers are minimal.

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So yep.  It's a pretty grim picture, and Mum's current concerns make my childhood ones appear silly.  The truth is that our cost of living has skyrocketed, and benefits and incomes have not kept up.

Whilst there has been much debate about this number (and I'm going with the version from before the current government changed their parameters) 290,000 children currently live below the poverty line in NZ.  This number The poverty they experience will be well beyond that I experienced growing up - likely much harder than what Mum experiences.  She only does ok because she has support**** from her family. 

There is a massive chunk of our society who do not get to experience the kind of lives many of us take for granted as 'normal'.  And as inequality grows due to numerous factors, the future of these children, and their families seems bleak.

I am 36 and I still can't eat oranges.                                       Oranges on our tree
Something needs to change.


* Sometimes we do because Murray likes to make icecream with the kids.  Because we are lucky and can sometimes afford fancy icecream ingredients like cream and eggs.

**Besides blackberries, which in the 80's grew abundantly unsprayed on many a roadside and were delicious. 

*** Mum's free leisure activity is reading books and getting out documentaries from the library (which are also free).  She also does the book run for her local rest home and spends time with the residents there.  And she helps me with the kids once a week and (when well enough) Grandma with her garden.  In spite of having little financial wealth, Mum is an extremely giving person.

**** Mum is extremely grateful to receive varying forms of support from her family.  I am extremely grateful to our family too, as the support we can offer Mum is there -  but it is more limited than what would be ideal.