On The Abortion Legislation Bill

So The Abortion Legislation Bill passed its final reading last Wednesday.

Both prior to, and since that happened I have read a lot of misinformation about this.

Things like:

1) That the majority of the public don't agree with abortion.

2) That an extreme law was passed allowing women to terminate up until birth

3) That those who supported the abortion act don't believe people with Down Syndrome have lives that are of value.

4) That the MP's who supported this bill are murderers that voted to kill babies.

5) That the final reading was rushed through parliament and that the Covid-19 Lockdown was timed to push it through.
    Good ol' anti abortion sign near Thames

Here I attempt to address these issues.  I don't expect to change minds, but I do want people to understand what the bill actually means.

1) The majority of New Zealanders do not want abortion legalised

This image is taken directly from the Family First website.   

Why would anyone trust them to present balanced poll results?

So I've read on someone's Facebook page that just 2% of Kiwi's agreed with being able to terminate up to 40 weeks.  It was also said that the majority of the public do not agree with abortion.  So I decided to investigate where those facts came from.  I went directly to the poll.  This poll was commissioned by Family First, a conservative Christian lobby group, and Curia, the company they hired to carry it out is owned and run by someone who is very active politically (David Farrar).  The issue with this is that both of these parties have very set ideas on abortion.  Consequently, neither are likely to be interested in presenting balanced data.  Neither can be considered independent.

Even without taking this into account, this poll was conducted via landline to eligible New Zealand voters.  The problem with this is that since 2016 more folk use mobile than landline and that number is steadily dropping.  This in itself skews the kinds of people surveyed.  Those in poverty and younger people are less likely to have landlines.  Those with perceived language barriers are unlikely to complete the survey.  Conversely, older people, and rural folk are more likely to.  These two groups are also more likely to have more conservative views.  Very few people I know my age still have a landline.  Using this methodology also strongly biases the results.

What was interesting about reading this poll in its entirety was that the majority polled still said they 'supported abortion'.  Of those that 'supported abortion', 58% were women.  So even in a poll naturally biased toward conservative viewpoints, the majority surveyed 'supported abortion'.  It is interesting to note that these are not the statistics presented when Family First refer to this poll.

In contrast with this I also have the results from the 2018 Newshub/Reid Research poll:



This poll clearly shows that almost 70% of New Zealanders were in favour of abortion being removed from the crimes act.  And as a poll carried out by the same company used for multiple political polls, it is a far more credible source.  So even if we had a referendum on abortion reform, it is likely that as a whole, the people of the nation would have voted for it.

So where did that 2% stat come from?

It comes from asking the following question:

'The law currently makes it a crime for abortions to be performed by a doctor on a woman after a certain number of weeks in pregnancy, except in exceptional circumstances.  What do you think the time limit should be for legally performing an abortion, in terms of weeks?

The issue I have with the phrasing of the question is that it implies that termination is to be carried out on request.  This is not the intention of the new law.  As before, the only terminations performed after 20 weeks (considered late term) will be in circumstances where they are deemed necessary for the woman's health.

The answers respondents could select were tiered by weeks of preferred legal limit.  Framed this way, most people would not choose 40 weeks.  I would not choose that.  My daughters were born at 37 and 38 weeks.  It is purposefully emotive.  Few people would select the 40 week option as most folk know that is a full term pregnancy.  Selecting this implies you approve of terminating birthed babies without rationale.  Why would anyone choose this?

And just to put that 2% in perspective is another poll from Newshub from 2018.  This shows that, in fact 36.7% if folk thought no test was needed for any termination regardless of how many weeks it was.  And 12% of folk thought there should be a test after 22 weeks.  Both of these categories outweigh the preference to test for abortion generally, and 36.7% is certainly much greater than 2%.

2) That an 'extreme law' was passed allowing women to terminate up until birth

In New Zealand in 2003* 97.35% of terminations were performed before 16 weeks.  2.03% were done between 16 - 19 weeks.  Only 0.56% of terminations were performed over 20 weeks.  I expect this to change very little.  Most people who want a termination want it done as soon as possible.  Since mifepristone** is now in common usage, I expect that if we had current stats the majority of that 97.35% would have been carried out before 7 weeks.  Regular surgical abortions are not fun things to have.  Late term abortions are even less fun.  You literally still have to birth a baby (albeit a small one), and then have a D&C***

This law is  not designed so women can 'change their minds'.  We have not legalised termination on request after 20 weeks.  There will not be large numbers of women rushing to terminate their 35 week pregnancies.  All that has changed is that seeking a termination after 20 weeks is no longer considered a criminal act.  That it may be legally granted if deemed necessary for a womans health inclusive of mental health.  There are many medical reasons why a women may not be able to terminate before 20 weeks.  There may also be medical reasons that may not present themselves until after 20 weeks.  All this law change does is put women at the forefront of abortion law as opposed to the unborn.  So that they have a say in things that massively impact their lives.

While I don't approve of terminating full term babies at will, I do approve of women having the right of termination on medical grounds.  Who am I to force another women to carry life when it's at detriment to her own?  I know that like me, most people will struggle to choose termination beyond 20 weeks, beyond feeling your baby kick.  So I know those that do have not made their choice lightly.  Their doctors will not have made their decision lightly.  Neither should be judged for being put in the position where they must make such an awful decision.

Jacob Dombroski - first Kiwi with
Down syndrome on Shortland Street.
Articulate, smart and pretty damn fly

3) They don't believe people with Down Syndrome have lives that are of value
These MP's are not sitting around a boardroom table patting each other on the back for wiping out trisomy 21.  Because they haven't.  Antenatal screening for Down syndrome has been happening here since 1968.  It is optional.  If you opt for screening, markers can be checked in the first trimester, and again in the second if there were indicators in the first.  Other potential health issues are also optionally screened for. 

The reason for this screening is not just to give families options, but to ensure that pregnant folk have the appropriate care.  54% of pregnancies of Down syndrome babies result in miscarriage.  Half of all babies born with Down syndrome have heart defects.  Many folk with Down syndrome have compromised immunity.  If this is known in utero it means there can be more support on hand to aid women with a high risk pregnancy carrying a child that may need extra support. 

And while I absolutely respect peoples rights to believe they can handle anything, I also respect peoples right not to.  I respect that people might be afraid of higher miscarriage rates and managing complex health issues.  I have had more than one friend have irregularities come back on those tests.  And they struggled with that information.  And even though I didn't always agree with them I had to put my personal feelings aside, shut my mouth and just respect their feelings.  I can never know how being in this situation might feel.  There are many, many things in life that make it hard for someone to be a parent to someone with different needs - poverty, health issues, lack of support.  I hate to think what happens to any child born into any situation where their parents aren't capable of giving them all they deserve in life.  I know how much abuse occurs in our state care system.  And that as a whole, disabled children are 3.7 times more likely to experience violence than their more abled counterparts.  I cannot judge those who are honest about just how much they can handle.  I cannot say their hearts are not in the right place.

The only two changes that have occurred with the Abortion Legalisation Act regarding Down syndrome is that:

1) Abortion has been removed from the crimes act
2) A women may seek a termination after 20 weeks if deemed medically appropriate by a doctor****.

Kate Grant strutting her stuff               

None of this is specific to Down syndrome, nor any other syndrome.  And fetal abnormality is still not a grounds for abortion in itself.  This means that if a pregnancy is over 20 weeks and a fetal abnormality is discovered, there is still only grounds to terminate if it is deemed medically appropriate.

Many women will not choose to test for Down syndrome or other syndromes.  Many women on discovering their unborn child has trisomy-21 will not choose to terminate their pregnancy.  Many people in favour of this bill, myself included, do not think Down syndrome folk have no value.  What we recognise is that not everyone has the same capacity.  That while some families will cope, others will not.  That we do not share the same privilege.  The changes to our abortion law simply free women from legal persecution for making a choice that we've been able to make in some form for more than 50 years.  Down syndrome folk under 50 still exist.  They take up space and regularly show us just how capable they are.  This law change is unlikely to impact that.

4) The MP's who supported the bill are 'murderers' and voted to 'kill babies'.

In fact, by medical accounts a fertilised egg is first considered a zygote and then an embryo until 11 weeks into a pregnancy.  After that, it is a fetus from 12 weeks until it is born.  At no point in utero is a fetus considered a baby from a medical standpoint.  Consequently, killing a baby via abortion is not possible.

Now I know that many churches deem life to start at different points.  Medieval Christians also believed that life began once an infant took its first breath of air.  For some other Christians, and in Vedic literature, the soul enters the body at conception.  In science, many points in time have been argued to be the start of life - from implantation to segmentation to brain function and fetal viability.

Regardless of when life begins, church and state are separate.  This means state law is not guided by religion.  I think this is a good thing because otherwise the beliefs of the most populous church will always be prevalent in society.  Not only would this be unfair on everyone with other beliefs, but it discourages diversity of thought.  Innovation is the key to success in business, the key to success in farming, science, art - everything.  And the more diverse a group is, the more innovative it is.  I am glad that we don't all think the same way.  I am glad to live somewhere where there is religious freedom.

Whilst I don't agree with Amy Adams on much, I do on this

Voting to remove abortions from the crimes act does not in any form make these MP's murderers.  All this means is that women are perceived differently from a legal standpoint.  They are now supported by law to make decisions for themselves.  Many female MPs supported this bill, a number of whom come from a political party I have never supported.  I applaud them all, especially those who voted against the majority of their party.  That was not an easy thing to do.  Amy Adams said: 'I have an absolute belief that women have an inalienable right to control their own reproductive systems and to control whether they will have a child.'   These choices were not made by MP's sitting around rubbing their hands together and practicing their evil laughs.  The MP's that supported this bill did so because they support women's basic human rights - their rights beyond that as a vessel for life.

5) That the final reading was rushed through parliament and that the Covid-19 Lockdown was timed to push it through.

I can see why people believe this was rushed.  It was.  But not as a cover up to avoid referendum.  This was taken off the table on the 18th of March after it was voted down by MP's.  Only 19 people voted for public referendum - 100 voted against.  This shows that many that voted against abortion law reform also voted against public referendum.  So it seems unlikely that they believed the outcome would have been any different.

  On the 23rd of March, the same day that this was ratified, two other bills were processed further and another bill was ratified.  And since then, four more bills have been processed to the next stage and three more ratified.  That is in the space of just three days.  The reason for this is that parliament is unable to sit during lockdown for the same reasons that I can't go to work.  And while yes, there was a shorter time between the second and third reading than between the first and second there is a valid reason for that.  It is not that they were trying to avoid a referendum.  It was that this had to be processed before lockdown.  I understand how passionate everyone feels about this bill.  But everyone must understand that our government will have bigger fish to fry after lockdown.  And if want our world to return to how we remember it, we need to let them prioritise our needs regarding this pandemic and its effect.

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Regardless of what I've written here I know that people will believe what they choose to.  And that's fine.  At the end of the day our opinions on this don't really matter.  Abortion is a very personal issue.  This is why it should be up to each individual to have the right to decide what is best for themselves and their families.  I am glad the right to do that has finally been granted.  It is a massive step forward for women in Aotearoa.


* I couldn't find more recent stats for late term abortions in New Zealand.  The overseas rates are similar to this - some slightly higher (around 1%) for termination post 20 weeks.

** This is the pill you can take to bring on miscarriage in early pregnancy.

*** I've had a D&C for other medical reasons and can tell you right now, they hurt.  They are not fun.  A whopping great tube is pulled from your insides while you are conscious and can see and feel it.  It's one of the grossest medical things that's ever happened to me.  This is not a choice someone will just make without having thought about long and hard.

**** These were also performed before the passing of this bill, but only if deemed 'necessary to save the woman's life or prevent injury'.

On Abortion

I have had two abortions.
Not one, but two.

And I don't feel guilty about either one.  Not at all.

I do feel terrified about telling people.  Not people like my Mum - she knew at the time because I trust her because she is awesome.  But it is not a fact about me that is common knowledge.

I have never been dishonest about my abortions - I am a terrible liar.  It's just that it's not something that comes up in conversation very often.  I am nervous about the response I'll get to this post - about the judgment of my peers.  But at the same time I'm confident that those who know me best will understand and love me regardless.   I am not writing this in an attempt to sway people from their personal beliefs - this is a very personal thing which is why it isn't spoken about openly.  I am writing in the hope to educate on how abortion actually works in New Zealand, and why I believe it is important that it is legalised.

This is not comfortable for me to write about, but there have been so many signs this year which made me feel it was time that I did:

Sign 1: When I read that women were actually denied abortions in NZ as in, they still are today. 
Sign 2: Finding out about the smear campaign on Jacinda Ardern which said she supported full term pregnancy abortions*.
Sign 3: Shortland Street - Harper - a prominent ER Dr has an abortion which opens up a discourse on it among her peers.

So I want to introduce some perspective to those for whom this issue has never directly arisen.  I want to talk about my experience with abortion, and my naivety regarding abortion law.  If you are uncomfortable reading my story because of family/proximity/fear of judging me - feel free to read these other real life NZ abortion stories instead.

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Me at 18 with my flatmates (not sure if they want to be identified, hence face greyness)

I first found out I was pregnant the week I had moved into my first flat and started University.  I fell pregnant to my on again/off again boyfriend of four years (fiance) in between things when I had gone off the pill.  We probably had unprotected sex once.  I should have used protection.  Absolutely.  But in the heat of the moment I just didn't think.  We'd been in a relationship where we'd not needed to use condoms for years so it wasn't at the forefront of our minds.

When I found out I was floored.  I was 18.  I had no maternal inclinations nor any desire to have children.  I told my flatmates and the Dad straight away and tried to do the right thing.  I took the Dad out for a 'talk' about our options, because even though I had already decided an abortion was the best option for me, I wanted to know how he felt.  Because it was fair.  He desperately wanted the abortion.  He had just started a new relationship** and wanted minimal complications.

His mother opened a private letter I had sent him about the abortion (we didn't do the email thing back in the year 2000).  She told her son that if we aborted this baby she would move to Australia to be with one of her daughters because there was no reason for her to stay here***.  She cried.  She told us that this was a baby conceived in love and that it was a sign we should get back together.

We both agreed it wasn't.  And she did not move to Australia.

Despite his promises to come to appointments, he was unreliable due to pressure from his new partner.  I'm pretty sure one of my wonderful flatmates came to my first scan.  I can't remember who came to the second.  But he did come for the 'main event'.

This is not the guy.  This is some guy from Thames.

Similar to Greenlane man in that he is old and white

and telling women what to do with their bodies.

Here's what happens in an abortion in NZ:
Step 1: You confirm you are pregnant at the Doctors
Step 2: You say you totally want an abortion and get a referral
Step 3: You have a scan to confirm how pregnant you are.
Step 4: You have two psych consults - one with a Dr and one with a nurse, to be sure you truly want an abortion and are not acting under duress.
Step 5: You wait.  You have to fucking wait until the sweet spot between 12 - 13 weeks in which they are happy to perform an abortion because (apparently) it is the best time to do it as the tissue is large enough that it should come away easily.  Because it has graduated from embryo to foetus.
Step 6: You go to Grafton Hospital where you pass the same old man protesting abortion every day.  They confirm who you are, and that you have a lift home and they give you a pill to help get things started then you wait in a room with other women doing the same thing until it's time.
Step 7: You have the actual abortion
Step 8: You hope that it's worked and that you are not broken.
Step 9: You go for a six week check up with your GP to confirm you are not in fact broken or get fixed up if you are.
 
Here is what I remember about the actual abortion:

They inject your cervix with a relaxant - this part didn't really hurt.  Then they basically scrape out the uterus.  I am sure they give you pain relief, but it was probably just codeine as I was not spacey and felt the whole procedure.  They offered me gas.  I learned at that moment that gas is not for me - it gave me hiccups and made me feel light headed.  I rejected the gas.  I focused my attention to a butterfly sticker on the ceiling.  I think someone - likely a nurse - understood that a focal point was helpful to those of us lying down there.

He (the Dad) did not even text me to check if I was ok after the abortion.

I was in fact not ok after the abortion.  I was mentally sound - it was the right decision and I had no regrets****.  But I did manage to be one of the lucky 5% who got a pelvic infection post termination.  I followed the instructions so caught it as soon as was reasonably possible.  The antibiotics I was on gave me rectal bleeding.  It wasn't great.  But I wasn't pregnant and could keep living my life.

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Would I have had my art featured in Black Magazine had I not had a termination?

The second time I decided to have an abortion was much harder.

It was 6 years later and I was most of the way through my design degree.  The circumstances by which I fell pregnant were not dissimilar to the first - on again off again - off pill, stupid idiot mistake.  Pregnant.  In this instance me and the Dad were back together.  And I absolutely loved him to bits.

He thought abortion was the only option.  I still was a non-maternal person with no inclination toward babies and my mental health at the time was not so great.  He was just starting his career post Uni and also not at all keen on kids.  It was a no-brainer.

I didn't want to tell my Mum.  I felt so much guilt.  My situation was different to the stereotype knocked-up-teen-best-option scenario.  I didn't feel she would understand but I told her anyway.  And truthfully, she didn't.  She was not upset with me, but she did try and manipulate me into wanting to keep the baby.

I know that Mum meant the best.  And now I am a Mum I have some understanding of her position.  But at the time, it was less than helpful.  Both me and the Dad were very certain if we kept the baby his parents would view it as me trapping him.  And he did tell them about the pregnancy, so this wasn't supposition.  They were not bad people, but our relationship had not been the most stable and they were looking out for their son.  I felt keeping this baby would mean the end of our relationship, and this would not be good for our potential offspring.  And I didn't want to end the relationship.

The specifics of that termination are much blurrier than the first.  I think it was because I was in a safer space, with good support from my (then) partner.  It is less memorable, because it was less traumatic.

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Why are these stories important?

Because they are true.

Ria Vandervis who plays Harper - not her fault about the shit storyline.

Watching the Shortland Street plotline annoyed me in that it just showed the fallout - it was ingenuine about the actual process.  These days they do conduct non-surgical abortions in early term pregnancies ie: they administer the drug and send people home to miscarry in the comfort of their own home.  But given that Harper suffered sepsis following her abortion it's more likely her character was supposed to have had a surgical termination - in which case she would have had to be 12 - 13 weeks pregnant which was possible but unlikely given her pregnancy timeline.

It annoyed me because whilst emotions were the focus, like other TV shows the implication was that abortion is a quick fix.  That you can just go 'I'd like one abortion please sir' and bang!  Bye bye baby.  That's not how it works.  The actual procedure is not the hardest thing about having an abortion.  It's the waiting to have an abortion.  You have to sit in your decision while you carry a potential life inside you.

And I didn't know that some people get rejected from having abortions.  Given my two were sorted with little difficulty, and I know others in the same boat as me it never occurred to me that they could say no.  Yes, I sat through the psych evaluations - but I just thought it was some weird part of the protocol.  I truthfully didn't even realise that abortion was still illegal in New Zealand after having had two abortions.

Coathangers should not be used to perform abortions

I cannot imagine my life had someone said 'no' to either of my abortions.  I can guess at what I would have done next.  I would likely have done what women did - and still do - in countries where abortions are not legal.  First, I would have tried to do it myself, then I might seek the help of a friend - possibly one with more medical knowledge than me - possibly just someone handy with a coathanger.  This is how desperate I would have felt.  I imagine that of the hundreds of women denied abortions last year because they were deemed 'not justified' a large number would have felt exactly how I would.  It's just not right.

Why did I not consider adopting out?  We have had babies adopted into and out of our family over a few generations.  And as a consequence I was told from young that babies would no longer be adopted out of our family.  I knew that if I fell pregnant and wanted to opt for adoption, I would have to whāngai the baby to someone in my extended family - or face the disappointment or rejection of my family.  I couldn't do that.  I couldn't live with having a child from my body raised within reach by someone else.  And I couldn't live without my family.

I think my decision to be an egg donor was due in part to my experience with my terminations.  It wasn't that I felt guilt over them and needed to redeem myself, it was that (at the time) I desperately did not want to be a parent.  I empathised with the position of people who desperately wanted to be parents.  Because I understood the desperation.  And because I had found myself knocked up accidentally on more than one occasion, I assumed I had the goods to help others.  Turned out I did - I'm exceptionally fertile.  And while the donation didn't result in a baby, I am still so glad I gave a couple a chance to fulfill their dream.

Me, ready for kids with my kids

Has being a Mum changed how I feel about termination?  Kinda.  I don't regret my terminations at all - I wouldn't have the family I have today had I not had them.  I cannot predict the trajectory of my life if I had, but I think it's unlikely I would have received the education I have, met the people I have or had the experiences I have if I'd had a child unsupported at age 18.

Obviously, the not wanting to have kids thing changed over time (short story = Murray wanted kids and I love Murray). At the same time the idea of having a termination now is problematic.  My family is definitely complete, but I don't know what I'd do if I fell pregnant.  If I could have a medical termination at 6 weeks, I wouldn't even think twice.  But having to wait to 12 - 13 weeks whilst growing that life while I live each day with what that little life could become?  I'm not so sure.

What I am sure of though, is that abortion should be a legal option for women to decide about for themselves.

* A cousins Facebook friend completely swallowed this fact (church).  I was happy to re-educate him on the 'facts' although he still was not happy that Ardern advocated abortion being legal.
** He did actually marry that girl.
*** Even though she still had two daughters, a son and five Grandchildren living in the Auckland area.
**** I never have any regrets.  I don't believe regret is a healthy response because it requires dwelling on the past.  What I do believe in instead is making mistakes.  I think of them as mis-takes - as in you are making a film, and you didn't get the first take right so you have to do over.  Sometimes you get it sorted on the second take, and sometimes it takes 42 takes to get the right shot.  The main point is that you learn from what happened the first time and move forward.