On The Increasing Violence In Our Community

I live in West Auckland.

I've called Sunnyvale home for more than ten years now, but I've lived in various suburbs in West Auckland on and off for decades.

My first ever flat was in Massey. Fresh out of High School, myself and two friends.  We lived next door to a tinny house.  The good thing about living next to a tinny house is that you know your house probably won't get broken into in case you're friends with the neighbours.  The bad thing about living next to a tinny house is that we'd get door knocked at weird hours when we were mistook for the tinny house.

One time I heard someone getting beat up next door.  It sounded pretty bad so I called our local police.  Their response was 'Oh, are they c***nuts*?  They're always doing that.'  That was the entirety of their response.  They hung up.  Nobody came.  I was 18 years old, home alone and scared that someone may have been badly hurt next door, but also too scared to investigate for myself.

Learning that the powers who are supposed to help are only interested in helping certain people really scared me.

A lot has changed in the last 20 years.

One thing that has changed rather dramatically is the level of violence in our community.  In the last two years my workplace has had arson, security attacked with an axe and less than two weeks ago, a stabbing.  Less than a year ago six people were injured in an attack in a supermarket in New Lynn.  The attacker was shot dead at the scene.

And just last Tuesday, a woman was shot dead in a residency walking distance from my home.
On the Friday, a father and daughter were shot dead in their home in Glendene - also close to home. This is scary.  Now, every time I hear the Eagle helicopter overhead I wonder if someone I care about has been hurt.  If I'm home, I herd the children inside and lock the doors.  I check the news to stay updated on what's happening.

I hear the Eagle most days.

And while this is awful on its own, again what is scarier is seeing the way those who are supposed to help us are only interested in helping certain people.  It's scary seeing the media and many politicians or people in positions of power blaming this violence on gangs.

The two shootings near our home were not acts of gang violence.  Both were family violence incidents.  I know this because New Zealand is small.  I know several people who have family members that were friends of those murdered in Glendene.  The person who murdered them was the ex-partner of the daughter, and while at the time of the murder he may have been gang affiliated, the family affected were not gang affiliated.  I can barely register how painful this must feel for the family left behind.

And any time I read about a woman being murdered by a man known to her I can't help but consider our domestic violence stats:

• 1 in 3 women in Aotearoa experience intimate partner violence in their lifetime
• Only 33% of domestic violence cases are estimated to be reported
• Most people killed by homicide in NZ are women
• NZ has the highest rate of domestic violence in the OECD
  

2019 was the worst year for intimate partner homicide in New Zealand in a decade
goog_1157254184I find it very hard to believe that this woman's death was gang related when it's far more likely it was her partner, or ex partner**.

This isn't to say that gangs are not a problem.  I live on the same street as a gang HQ.  And while the immediate impact of this on my life is minimal***, there are other impacts.  The main one is the level of methamphetamine use in my local community.

Meth and Cash seized during a bust in 2020 from two West Auckland addresses

Patrick Gower delved into it in his 2021 documentary.  And research from 2020 shows just how accessible it has become.  I see its impact in my workplace most days.  Much of our store theft is perpetrated by meth addicts to fuel their habit.  I know this because the behaviour of regular uses is pretty easy to spot and we see it often.  It's at a point where I'm teaching younger staff members how to identify it so they can get support when needed.  Meth users often behave in unpredictable ways and we can mitigate the likelihood of this by our actions.  Our tuakana should be safe when they come to work 

But meth, gangs and domestic violence are merely symptoms.  If we only treat the symptoms and not the cause, nothing will get better.  Sadly, the cause is not simple to diagnose.  It is varied and complex.

It's a perfect storm right now.

Just a year ago Auckland was voted the most liveable city by the EIU

With divisive economic structures**** and an underfunded health sector, we were not well positioned to deal with the current pandemic.  The huge rise in cost of living - while also seen overseas - is harder to cope with in an economy where many can barely afford to pay rent due to housing prices.  It is unsurprising that in a recent survey of 12,000 immigrants, New Zealand was voted the second worst place to move to behind Kuwait.

Add to this the uncertainty of pandemic times and what is happening in our community is truly unsurprising.

And there is no simple fix. 

What we need is an overhaul of the structures that have allowed us to get to this point.  This isn't as easy as 'changing governments' - these problems have been ignored or band-aided by successive governments.  At the beginning of her term, Jacinda Ardern promised there would be no CGT under her leadership.  This was massively short sighted.  And while yes, changes are being made to WINZ and Working For Families, this will not solve our housing crisis.  Prior to this we've seen National led Governments pull funding from health services across the board whilst lowering tax rates and raising GST - which advantages the wealthy and makes things more difficult for those on lower incomes.

I felt those daily updates genuinely helped unite us

We also need our leadership to provide certainty during difficult times.  Whilst our current government did a fabulous job of this for quite some time, this level of confidence and assertiveness has fallen away. While I cannot speak for everyone I can say that the exact moment I stopped having faith was when they stopped following the advice of scientists and epidemiologists.  The current mask regulations are nonsensical to the point that I empathise with those confused about whether they need to wear a mask or not****.

I am not saying they've done a bad job - I do not believe any government could be perfect under the current circumstances.  But the lack in direction in terms of pandemic recovery certainly factors into increasing rates of violence. 

Scared people do not make great decisions.  Directionless people do not make great decisions.  Hopeless people do not make great decisions.  Even if the current economic conditions do not directly impact someone, this aspect of living in uncertain times likely will.

And poor, hungry, disconnected scared people cannot be expected to make good decisions.

If you do not have hope for the future - why would you care about what happens in your future?  Let alone the future of others.

I've seen this violence blamed on multiple things by multiple people.  In the media it's gangs.  In reader commentary it's often blamed on video games like Fortnite, teens and parenting (or a lack thereof).  Politicians blame other politicians.  And while yes, the blame ultimately lies with the offenders, there are reasons why we are seeing an explosion in rates of violent offending.

I think what it really boils down to is hope.



We need something to hope for.  Something to look forward to.  We need to know that things will get better.

When people cannot take holidays because they've run out of leave to look after sick people in their family, or because they've been sick themselves, every day life is grueling.  Equally being refused leave due to staffing shortages, and working under the constant pressure of those shortages is very hard.  And when you are doing your absolute best and still can't afford to pay your rent, or power, or petrol, or food because of the rising costs that show no sign in stopping rising, it is difficult to dare to hope.

Until this certainty can be provided I expect things will only get worse.  And the worse things get, the further away hope will feel.  All we can do, other than supporting those who have the power to level the playing field, is hold onto that hope.  And if we have the strength - share that hope with others.

And food and/or money if we have it.  It is very hard for hungry people to be hopeful people.

Yes, the school lunch programs are a fantastic idea - but kids are not always at school
Plus, hungry adults can be hangry adults - we need to do more than this.

* Racist slur for pacific peoples.

** I have learned subsequently (because New Zealand is small) that as I suspected yep - this woman sadly also lost her life to family violence.

*** Besides loud motorcycle noise and general speeding around the area we live in.

**** Our lack of a Capital Gains Tax is the worst aspect of this, but there are plenty more which fuel the divide.  We have one of the lower top tax bracket income taxes in the OECD.  This is crazy to me because in terms of percentage of income, those in lower income brackets pay much more tax as a percentage of income because all (or most) of their income is outgoing - thus incurring GST.  This combination not only makes NZ a perfect tax haven for overseas investors, but also makes it very difficult for those living in poverty to change their circumstances, while giving positive financial reward to those who already have money (through interest on savings, early payment reductions on bills, not having to use high cost finance options et al).

***** But honestly, just wear masks when out and about people.  This should be 'the new normal' if we truly want to stay healthy and minimise the impact of Covid and flu on the wider community.  Masks are not perfect, but when used correctly can be very effective.

On my feelings around Roe VS Wade

So last weekend Roe VS Wade was overturned.

It's hard to find the words to describe how sad and angry this makes me.  But struggling to articulate my feelings does not mean I don't care.  I care greatly about this atrocity and the impact it has on all of us.  Overwhelmingly so.

I care because even though this is not happening here in Aotearoa it effects me.  And I believe if you are a woman, a queer person or represent any group marginalised by society, this effects you too.

For me, queer rights and feminism go hand in hand.

In the Merriam Webster dictionary feminism is defined as:

Belief in and advocacy of the political, economic and social equality of the sexes.

Such an amazing book - I highly recommend it   

From my perspective, the very concept of feminism advocates for intersex, trans and genderqueer rights*.

It's pretty much just intersectional feminism which in my way of thinking, is the only feminism truly focused on equality.

And while I am comfortable being gendered as a woman today, I certainly haven't always felt that way.  I grew up for the most part in small-town, rural New Zealand in the 80's and 90's.  And whilst I'm aware of how this has shaped me I was recently reminded of the gravity of this impact while reading Hannah Gadsby's Ten Steps To Nanette.

Her perception of growing up in Tasmania during the same time period is not dissimilar from mine.  We both lived in places where gender roles were fairly well set in concrete.  The men did physical labour for long hours while the women managed the house and the childcare.  Sometimes the women also did the hard, physical labour - it's often just a necessary part of farm life - but their efforts were always considered supplementary to that of the men. While in Gadsby's case, her upbringing implanted a deep hatred of her own queerness, my upbringing implanted a deep hatred of my gender.

Because of what I witnessed at home, being a woman was never of any interest to me.  I associated womanhood with subservience.  My own home was ruled by my father.  It was his way or the highway.  Not understanding the complexity that is domestic violence I struggled to empathise with my mother.  To me, the dysfunction of our home was quite obvious so I could not understand why she didn't just leave.  I perceived her as weak.

This association became further entrenched when I moved to a larger school.  Around age eleven I watched something of a shift as girls moved to the margins of play.  Instead they sat around talking or playing elastics.  I did not understand this culture.  I wanted to keep on playing handball like I'd always done.  So I did.  I played handball with the boys a few years younger than me and the few girls who also did not fit in.  We were definitely not cool.

At that time, we would have been called 'tomboys'**.

The very idea that I could be a different gender from what I was labeled at birth was foreign to me.  'Transgender' was not a commonly used term when I was young.  While I was exposed to aspects of queer culture from a young age, this wasn't part of it.  Yes, there was a little girl born as a boy in the community we grew up in***.  She was my brothers age and was clearly trans from as soon as she could communicate.  This was accepted by our family who were friends with her mum.  But we didn't have the terminology.  She was just a little boy who should have been born a girl.

Ken and Ken - I have the BEST retail secret story about them

At that time I had no idea that trans-men even existed.  Cross dressers - yes.  Lesbians - yes.  But the closest thing to a trans-man I'd ever come across were the Topp Twin's in drag as Ken and Ken - neither of whom are trans men.

By my mid 20's I realised that the  disillusionment I felt from my proscribed gender actually had very little to do with women.  I came to realise this was a carefully crafted experience, a side effect of growing up in a strongly patriarchal society.  As a teen in many respects I was a misogynist.  Most of my friends were guys - I found them more relatable because they did stuff.  Like them, I catcalled women.  I condoned their sometimes shitty treatment of their girlfriends.  I bought into toxic masculinity because I pitied the condition of being a woman.  It was totally fucked up.

So here is my point.

Because of my personal history, I see gender identity and woman's rights as one and the same.  My dysfunctional relationship with my biological sex had nothing to do who I was or my behaviour, but with growing up in a world with strongly defined gender roles.  If I'd had the language at that time, I may have identified as transmasculine - but maybe not - other than wishing I could stand up to pee I was ok with my body****.  I most likely would have identified as gender queer.  I think if I were the teen person I was then today, I'd identify as non-binary.  I am glad that young people today have vocabulary to express this interior struggle.

What's messed up is that this should never have been a struggle.  Feeling as if I didn't belong to my biological sex was a direct result of the patriarchy.  Why, as an outspoken, intelligent, active person would I want to identify with a sex I was told was of lower status?  As someone who already grew up poor, nerdy and in an unstable home, being a woman was just more shit on the pile.  Now, after years of therapy, of study, of reading and engaging with the protest movements of recent history I can see the problem isn't me.  It has never been me.  For me today, identifying with my biological sex regardless of my outward gender expression is a revolutionary act*****.

I love mixing things up in the looks department and that this is still, and always, me.

It's revolutionary in that it doesn't buy into the notion that women need to be or act a certain way.  I can just be myself and whoever that is is what a woman looks like because I am a woman.  To me, this alone pokes holes in the patriarchy.  My children will hopefully experience the world a little differently than I did. Not just because gay marriage is legal and AIDS is now treatable but because I work my arse off to ensure they know their gender does not determine who they are.  They know women can have short hair, or shaved heads.  They know that women can be strong and outspoken.  They know that women can have jobs and kids and cook and clean if they want to - or not if they don't.

And I can use just the way I look to help other children - particularly those still growing up in strongly gendered environments - question aspects of that thinking.

There are a rainbow of ways to be a woman.

One of our current faves

I am so grateful for the breadth of literature available on strong women through history and LGBTQI+ peoples written for children.  I use these to back my point.  When Etta was going through  a bag of hand-me-downs she spotted a lame jacket and grabbed it like it was gold because 'it's just so Freddy Mercury!'  Abby has been quoting Frida Kahlo since she was three years old.  They know about the Topp Twins and Georgina Beyer and Louisa Wall.  And they know about Dr Jane Goodall, and Marie Curie and Maya Angelou.  The only prime minister of Aotearoa they can name is a woman.

My children still live within a (shifting) patriarchal system, but I work hard to ensure their experiences around and understanding of gender are vastly different to mine.

What's happening in the US now is scary.

Not just because women will die as a consequence, but because this is just the first step.  This is the patriarchy's attempt to quash their opposition.  Make no mistake.  This is not about abortion.  This is not a 'pro-life' position - it's an 'anti-women's rights' one.  Gay rights, immigrants rights and religious rights (outside of Christianity) will be next on their agenda.

And as we've seen with the emulation of the 'freedom' protests worldwide, this thinking will be emulated in other places.  It will be emulated here.  There are no guarantees that if elected a certain leader of the opposition who is openly 'pro-life' will not repeal laws here.  And with the backlash against difficult choices in a difficult time, it's highly possible he will be elected.

Just because I am overwhelmed does not mean I am not ready to fight.

Whenever we are teetering on the edge of change, there is a backlash.  This is what this is.  And to overcome this, we need to work together.  Regardless of our gender identity.  Regardless of our sexual identity.  Regardless of our religious beliefs.  If we care about humanity and equality we will support each other in our efforts to fight this hatred and oppression.

I need this world to be a safer one for my daughters than it was for me.

* Yes, it says 'sex' as opposed to 'gender' here.  Yes gender is a social construct and sex is biological.  But biologically speaking, sex is a spectrum in the same way gender as a social construct is.  Advocating for equal rights only for certain sexes or genders feels to me like the antithesis of the definition of feminism - just a patriarchy from a different hegemonic angle.  I do not view TERF's as feminists.  I cannot see them as anything other than one of the many societal problems caused by the patriarchy.  If you aren't advocating for the equality of ALL sexes and gender expressions then in my book, you ain't a feminist.

** I find the concept of 'tomboys' problematic in that it implies that if a girl acts differently to what is expected she is not a girl.  This implies that girls are not differentiated from boys due to any physiological differences - but by behaviour.  And I find linking behaviours to certain genders problematic because all genders should be allowed to, and are capable of, behaving in many different ways.

When we imply this is not the case we limit people's capacity to experience the world on their terms.  Fuck this.  Fuck limits.  Gendered brain theory has been discredited by many scientists for decades.  The only limits imposed on biological sex are social ones.  Being a girl who likes sandpits and rugby and cares not for dresses does not make that girl a faux-boy.  She is a girl who likes sandpits and rugby and hates dresses.  Unless or until she identifies otherwise.

*** She was the first person I knew personally to transition.

**** Not that bodily dysphoria is necessary for someone to identify as trans.  I just don't think I ever felt trans.

***** This is how I feel for me.  Every person who identifies as trans, non-binary or gender-queer has the right to claim that identity.  My choice in my identity is not a commentary on that.  I am grateful that the world is moving even a little toward being accepting of these identities, and that my children now actually have a vocabulary to express their experiences of gender.