On the lady body hair/feminism/parenting conundrum.

So a while ago I thought to myself: why do I shave?  I don't really care what people think about how I look, so why do I do it?

And then I thought some more and realised I've never actually seen my adult body not shaved.  Well, not for any period of time in which I could grow all that hair back.  And this may seem crazy but the truth is I started shaving my legs sneakily from when I was about 12 years old.  And the other standard lady shaving areas (pits and pubes) when I wasn't a heck of a lot older.  And the longest I've not shaved anything for is about two weeks.  And yes, even when I was pregnant, and it was crazy difficult I still shaved.

To those who know me, this will seem insane.  Because yes - I don't really give a fuck about my appearance.  I couldn't give less than a fuck what strangers think of me, and I keep my friends awesome* so they don't judge me on shit like that.  Yet still, I've never not shaved.  I guess I've just been doing it for so long it's become so routine and normal I just do it.

So I decided to try just not doing it.

It's not like I shaved daily or anything.  I just shaved when things started getting annoying for me.  Or on those few occasions where I felt like being a girly girl (I always had someone else do my hair and makeup though cos I'm not proper girl enough to understand that shit).  So this wasn't a time-saving exercise.  I just wanted to see my body au naturale.  Because I actually never have.  And that seems kinda sad.  Because even me - a dress-how-I-like-feminist has never ever not shaved.  Because I was so acclimatised to something so unnatural that I've never considered not doing it until I had two kids and was 34.

And I was also thinking of what I'd tell my kids when they asked me why I shaved.  Because I know if Etta ever saw me do it I'd have to tell her.  And frankly, I was stumped - there was no logical reason.  In order to be able to look my daughters in the eye when I tell them to be happy in their own bodies I needed to understand why I do the things I do to my own.  Because I am a shitty liar.  And I want to support my kids as best I can in being comfortable in their own skin - because the world we live in sure does not.

So I did it.  Kinda.  I don't know how long I went without shaving.  I didn't track it or nothing.  I simply stopped doing it.  But I did cave.  The first area to go was oddly the one no-one ever sees - my lady garden.  This had nothing to do with aesthetics and all to do with sensation (WARNING - TMI): the area just felt moister.  The lady stuff was getting caught in the extra garden and it made me feel icky.  I know the lady garden is totally natural and not bad or anything, and the ick is just a self sanitising system (our bodies are amazing!) but after so long never feeling this sensation it felt just too weird.  So I trimmed.  Just enough that I didn't feel that sensation any more.  The next thing to go was my legs.  I managed to not shave for several months though.  I tried to live with it for as long as I could to get used to my natural state.  The issue here, again, was a sensory one: I didn't like feeling the wind rustling my leg hairs.  Weird, but true.

But what I haven't re-shaved since I stopped is my armpits.  I've never had armpit hair before and I actually quite like it.  Yes, I know it's kinda cool right now, but that isn't why I'm keeping it (and no, I will not be dying it any time soon).  It simply doesn't feel yuck and I never have to deal with the shaving burn that occasionally comes with shaving such sensitive skin.  And it's not like it's a heck of a lot of hair.  I don't grow much body hair and what I do is quite light.  I don't know why I bothered shaving them for so many years!

The outcome of this experiment is that I am changing how I shave to suit myself.  I'll just shave my shins when they start to feel wind-blowy (the rest of my legs felt fine) and I'll trim my lady bits when they bug me.  And more importantly, I can tell my girls exactly why I do that.  Which means they can see they at least have a choice and that their choice should suit what's important to them.
                                                                                                  
                                                                                                                              
                                                                                                                                                                  Hair's my armpit (te he he!  Bad pun)
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So on the flip side of this is the one hair related thing I do fixate on - my eyebrows.  This isn't due to criticism from others - it's purely cos I've never really had them.  My eyebrows are very sparse and blonde and, pretty much since I realised they were on my face, I've had eyebrow envy.  It's my one thing.  Other folk have mascara or lippy as their simple makeup pick-me-up - I carry brow liner.

Until now...

Check out these power brows!  They may not look like much to you (I ain't got nothing on Cara's, nor will I ever) BUT this is the result of the first successful brow tint I've ever had done.

After having trialled a range of beauticians** over the years (including a freeby at Caci clinic because a laser machine literally broke when I was in it) I have never felt happy with the results.  My eyebrows are two different shapes (because my eyes are two different shapes) so they never look even.  But having had my eyebrows threaded regularly at the same place has also kept them fuller (the European style beauticians always take away too much of the little hair I have) and hey presto - I have eyebrows.

I know it seems super hypocritical to write this having just had a bleat about feminism and kids, and comfort in your own skin blah blah blah - it is.  But I feel like I can explain this to my daughters more than I could many other crazy beauty things - I tint my eyebrows because I want to have eyebrows.  That's it.  Why do I want to have eyebrows? Cos I'm a sheeple like everyone else...***

Dammit!  This parenting lark is hard.  It's good though, as it really is helping me investigate how I live my own life and why.  No-one can be perfect, nor the perfect parent.  All we can hope is that we learn and grow with our children and become better people together.  I am trying.



* Luckily, I was also born into awesome - so I win on all counts.

**  I know, I'm blowing your mind right now huh, cos me, Hannah, who is so cheap she cuts her own hair, has actually been to one of these places.  I've just always REALLY WANTED EYEBROWS.  And while I'm great with scissors, I am terrible with a pair of tweezers.  Trust me.  Just awful.  I am just aware of what I can do and what I cannot.  And while I can cut my own hair pretty well (perks of thick, wavy hair) there are many other beauty things (pretty much all of them) I cannot.

*** Evidenced throughout this post by my knowledge of fashion trends and who Cara Delevingne is (even though I mostly know who she is because she hooked up with Michelle Rodriguez, not because she's a model {which doesn't excuse me as why do I know this stuff?  I don't even know these people - this isn't important knowledge unless you go to pub quiz, which I don't anymore}).  Because none of this stuff is big picture important.  At all.  And yet I know it.  Because reading crap is my go to when I am tired and finding something banal to do.  I have to work on this.  Stupid Daily Mail.