If you are reading my blog right now you live with certain privilege.
during the lockdowns
- You are able to read
- You have time to read
- If you are from Aotearoa and can read this, it means you understand the language most used most commonly in public spaces.
- You understand how to use the internet
- You have access to the internet
- And this may not be true, but if you are reading this it is also likely that you use social media. So you have a means of connecting with other people without seeing them.
This also means you will have access to current affairs. That you are able to watch the 1pm Covid updates, live or later, or read the summaries on news websites. And if you are reasonably educated it means you can research the current pandemic. That you can find the thoughts of expert epidemiologists at the click of a button. You can see what solutions are being utilised overseas. What is working, and what is not. It means that, if you are unsure of the statistics, or what your government is telling you, you are able to research and find out more for yourself.
Many, many people do not have these privileges.
I know this to be true having grown up with less privilege than now, but things I see in my daily life confirm it. My daughters friends parents, for whom English is a second language, are terrified. It is hard for them to understand everything said about what is happening here, and their homeland - where most of their family still live - is not handling the pandemic well. I've seen it when encountering someone at a supermarket over the last lockdown who didn't even know about Coronavirus. They lived in an isolated place and did not use the internet. Where this difference in privilege was most obvious yesterday was when I worked as a greeter at work next to the QR code at the entryway.
Not all retirees are this tech savvy
Many older customers were afraid of the QR code. They thought that because they did not have the app they would not be allowed into the store. They have become so used to being excluded due to lack of technology that they actually believed this. They saw the QR code and were either angry or scared. And it was heartbreaking. I also saw a young woman pretend to scan the QR code with her phone. Probably because I was there and she was scared I was judging her. We also had customers afraid they would not be allowed in if they weren't wearing a mask. I told a few anxious people where they could buy masks. I helped someone use the app for the first time. I did my absolute best to reassure folk struggling with our new normal that they were welcome and that I for one was not judging them.
But many are judging.
My colleague told me of an incident she witnessed at a butchers shop during level 3. Where someone attacked another customer for adjusting her mask in a store where mask wearing was compulsory. That the attack turned racial, attributing blame to a specific community* for the current Auckland cluster. We have had customers act as though certain staff members were contaminated, purely because of the colour of their skin. Customers literally saying they wouldn't use the eftpos machine because a specific staff member had touched it. I was tagged in a Facebook post and called a bully because I had disagreed with someone's anti-lockdown stance.
While these things may shock folk who haven't encountered it, it is important to remember there is a reason for these attitudes. And that reason is fear.
And it is hard not to let fear dictate what we do. While I work hard to avoid our 'blame' culture, I struggle with fear. Not only am I human, but I have an anxiety disorder. While I understand when my fear is irrational most of the time, I still struggle with managing the 'fight or flight' signals my body sends me. So when I had stepped away from the internet only to come back to being tagged in a post where I was called a bully, I did not respond in the best way. While I never attacked this person, I also did not take on board how scared she was. I am used to healthy debates on differing ideas on social media. I did not think to apologise. Clearly she was overwhelmed with information. She felt unsafe and attacked on her Facebook page. Even though I did not technically do anything wrong, I should have recognised how upset she was, apologised, and moved on.
Because having not done so, I became the target of her fight, flight or freeze response. This means she is even less likely to tolerate any information that goes against her existing mindset. This means all of the stats, links, evidence, logic and hope I provided her with are completely useless. And it isn't because she is stupid. It's because she is human, and she is scared.
So how do we counter this fear?
With kindness and compassion**. With understanding and communication. None of us are perfect and we are not going to get things right all the time, but we can try and do better. If we see someone not wearing a mask at the supermarket, rather than flicking them a scowl, we should give a smile. And we can wonder why. What do they not have access to? Maybe they are struggling to adjust to a world of masked faces? Maybe they are trying to normalise things for their kids? When you see alternative info shared online, consider why they are sharing it. How much education does this person have? Is it easier to believe this than the reality of our current situation? Is it easier to believe what is happening in the US is just 'fake news?' than facing the idea of mass graves?
Rather than prodding this fear we must understand where it comes from. We can refrain from posting memes*** that exacerbate it, or reacting to memes that propagate it. We can share balanced information that does not attribute blame. Or, we can share information that helps others understand their privilege better, or the very real lack of privilege others experience which is exacerbated by our current situation. And when sharing, understand that this will not be accessible to everyone you know. We can help when we are asked to help, and we can step back when we are not. We can recognise our privilege and not judge those who may not share it.
And we can stop focusing so much on blame and start focusing on problem solving. We can follow the advice of experts and do simple things - hand washing, social distancing, staying home when we are sick****, mask wearing in situations where we can't easily distance. We can focus on doing the best job we can at this - on setting a good example. As I constantly say to my kids 'Please focus on what you're doing, not on what she (their sister) is doing'.
The more we alienate ourselves from each other, the less likely it is that this 'team of 5 million' can come together and work toward beating this thing. For us to be a team, we need to work together regardless - we need to help each other. Regardless of our political beliefs, regardless of what we have or do not have. Because if we don't, we are contributing to the problem.
* I don't think I need to explain this further, but I do need to reiterate that these folk did absolutely nothing they weren't supposed to do, and I am so sorry that not only did they have to experience Covid firsthand, but the massive, unwarranted public backlash as well.
** I need to make it clear I do not mean that if you see attacks on others you should not intervene. You absolutely should if it is safe for you to do so. But you should do it in the kindest way possible. You have to recognise these actions come from fear, and articulate from a place of caring. It is never ok to abuse someone because of your assumptions about them. That abuse should always be called out. But you can try not to exacerbate the situation.
*** Yes, memes are fun because they simplify things people relate to. The problem with this is that they encourage folk to 'pile on' that particular issue. And often they are centred around people The other problem is that they propagate our desire to attribute blame. And this does not help anyone.
**** Please understand that this is absolutely a privilege that many will struggle to afford.. If you can do it, please do it. But you cannot know the impact taking time off may have on others, whether missing that shift is the difference between eating that week or not. If you have the privilege not to have to make these kinds of decisions, please understand the difficulty it places on those that do.
