And then a baby (additional info)

Wow!  Just re-read my last blog post and realised all the bits I missed and things that make little sense.  Not beating myself up as wrote it in that insanity that is the first week post baby but thought I'd catch you up on some things:

1) The reason I mentioned the 'accidents' is because I think they were my labour indicators.  My body was just so over being pregnant it decided to stop.  I'm super glad.  I was over being pregnant, and knew the likelihood was that my baby was big enough (given my large measurements) to be born so feel no guilt about that.

2) I may have aided baby coming when it did if you believe in old wives tales.  I had been eating induction cookies.  In part because I found the recipe and it looked amazing.  In part because I really wanted the baby to come and I was over it.  The cookies were fucking amazing.  I shared them with friends and family.  Seriously, they are tasty.  I made mine slightly spicier than the recipe (a little extra cayenne) and they were fab.

And the night before I went into labour we did have Indian food.  This wasn't to hurry the baby, but merely because it was our four year Civil Unionersary and we wanted to do something nice, but cheap (cos poor) so picked one of those dealio website deals at the closest restaurant in the cuisine we liked most and went for it.  We ended up at a place called Shor Bazaar in Lynfield which looked nice from their website but on arrival were a bit terrified (sandwiched between a KFC, a TAB and a Wendy's) but OMG it was awesome!  Although the deal was for a regular course, we ended up ordering starters and desserts and ate all things we'd never tried before - which is an achievement as I used to work in Indian restaurants and love and eat a LOT of Indian food.  I didn't order a spice level any higher than I normally would as wanted to enjoy the meal.  And no, I don't think eating curry made me go into labour.

3) Yes, I had a drug free birth (besides Panadol taken earlier that day for hip pain) but believe me, I was begging for drugs - there was just no time!  I had started going into transition before we even left for the hospital (hence my urgency) and because everything happened so fast I was not well pleased.  Because I could get into the water fairly quickly once at hospital though, I soon felt ok without drugs as had gotten over the shock of being in labour and found my groove.

4) I didn't realise or know how much blood I'd lost until a few days after having Abby.  I did know I was lying in a pool of my own blood, but had no idea how normal/abnormal that was as had never had a vaginal delivery before.  And I couldn't actually see how much blood there was - I just knew it was there.  I later found out I was very close to the amount of blood loss where you have to sound all the bells and whistles and get the Drs and people into the room - I am so glad I did not.  It was very nice having just me, Murray and Vanessa (my brilliant Midwife) in our little, private feeling delivery suite feeling awesome.

The only ill effects I noticed from this blood loss was that I was a bit shaky when I did get up for a shower (a couple of hours after having Abby), and was having some difficulty breathing (like when I was anaemic).  Luckily, I had a bag of treats and a few fistfuls of chocolate coated raisins and a cup of tea remedied this fairly quickly.

5) Murray freaked out a bit when Abby was born because she didn't cry (like on TV).  She was fine - it was just because of the delayed cord clamping.  She was also extremely chill for her first couple of days on this earth, and still is (touch wood) most of the time.  Whilst Murray had discussed cutting the cord, in the end he decided not to having done it with Etta and found it a little 'barbaric' after his last experience cutting the cord in the C Section, which we all decided was fair enough.

6) Abby was eleven days early - a week later exactly than Etta who was eighteen days early.  Abby weighed 7lb 8oz - Etta weighed 6lb 15oz - so had they been born at similar times I think they would have been similar weights.  However, Abby was/is SO FAT.  Like, she looks as though you could poke her tummy and she'd pop like a balloon.  Stark contrast to Etta who was a very skinny wee thing.  Abby is also super tall.  51cm at birth, and now 52cm just over a week on.

7) While we would have loved to go to the Helensville Birthing Units from Waitakere unfortunately, the inn was full.  April is a very popular month to give birth, so I wasn't surprised.  Retrospectively, it was great coming straight home as injected some normalcy into this whole thing for Etta.  She only had one night without Mummy and her routines haven't changed.  We figure the easier we can make the transition for her the easier she will make it for us.

8) We took a couple of days to name Abby as when she was born none of the names we'd had seemed quite right.  We did end up going back to a name we'd had in mind - one that Murray had chosen - but after we'd gotten to know her a bit better.  While Etta made her personality clear from before birth, Abby has been a little quieter so we needed a little time to get to know her better.  And while people grow into their monikers, they do have them for life (unless they hate it so much they change it) so it's nice to at least try to get it right.

9) I am so lucky to have had the Midwife I had.  I am glad that I trusted her decisions even in times I was a little anxious about them.  I am so grateful that I laboured under the current system (midwives) rather than the system my Mum laboured under (GP's).  There is no way a GP could have had the level of knowledge Vanessa had to get me comfortably through my pregnancy, labour and these early days with a new baby.  We are so, so lucky to have this in New Zealand.  I do think it's all about finding the right person for you, so if you are not happy, or at all uncomfortable with your Midwife, and have time do shop around.  It will make a trying time so much easier if you have the support that works for you and a good relationship with those giving it.  Especially if you are looking at having a VBAC.

10) I cannot express enough the difference between my emergency C Section and this natural labour.  Again, while I wasn't at all upset or anything by Etta's delivery, Abby's was just so much simpler even if her delivery was in some ways more hands on.  Recovering from a natural birth - even with a small tear and difficult delivery - has been so much faster and simpler than recovering from my C Section.  And with a full on toddler I was so grateful to have the opportunity for a natural birth.  Again, I was very low risk to try for a VBAC, so this choice will not be best for everyone.

For me even had this labour had resulted in another emergency C Section I would have been glad to have tried as because I had done the 'labour' thing before, this time I felt more comfortable with it - I wasn't at all scared.  And while labour is 'labour' and hard and sore, I managed to get to that place they talk about in hypnobirthing - mostly because I knew I would be ok, and I knew this was only for a short period of my life.

While Abby was not in the best of positions (head funny angle, shoulders around the wrong way, cord over shoulder) she was not face first or posterior which made for a much easier delivery.  While I'm sure it would have been possible to birth Etta naturally, it would have been very difficult and traumatic for both of us to have done so.  And while I am glad to have managed a natural birth this time (mostly so I am able to look after my busy toddler easier) I am so grateful to have had the option of a C Section with Etta.

38 weeks...

This is the most pregnant I've ever been and I truly wasn't expecting to make it this far.  Almost every day last week I kept thinking 'this will be the day!' after having been very sure I was having contractions last Monday night.  Well it turns out I wasn't and none of those days were.  I'm just in a constant state of Braxton Hicks and lower back pain that is only tempered by hot baths, wheat packs and bad TV.

This is so different from my first pregnancy.  Last time I had similar symptoms for three days and then my waters broke and (eventually) out came a baby.  I was glad to have a midwife friend tell me it's quite normal for subsequent pregnancies to experience the 'end of days' stuff for longer.  Since then I've pretty much acclimatised myself to just being mega pregnant for potentially a lot longer than expected.  And since I've done that I've started feeling much better about it.

So I have organised so I have some help with Etta almost every day as I am just not physically able to keep up with her.  My hips are really bad so I have difficulty moving and no longer find it easy to get to the bus stop to go for an outing.  I am tired all the time so I'm not the
Achieving great hairdressing feats whilst uberpreg

most fun parent in the world.  Basically a day at home with Mum involves kids TV or Minions and Daddy Gru, stories, playdough, blocks or drawing.  If I'm really energetic we'll kick a ball around in the hallway and have a pillow fight on the bed.  And Etta is way more of an outdoors kid than that so she gets frustrated, which is fair enough!   Hence queuing fun additional family members to take her out to the park, or ride her car up the driveway, or chase birds with.

She is also a bit more full on than usual because she knows that the baby is coming and she is scared.  She's very clingy and we've had some difficult bedtimes, nap-times and over-night-times as well as some EPIC tantrums.  Mum experienced one of her full force ones last week and was a little in shock.  A full on Etta tantrum can involve throwing, hitting, screaming, crying, smashing her head against stuff and can last up to an hour.  These happen due to any number of random things; closing a door, giving her the wrong spoon, turning Peppa Pig on, turning Peppa Pig off - usual story.  There is no comforting her until she is ready to be comforted and that can take time.  She is simultaneously interested in and angry at the baby.  She is keen to cuddle my tummy, and talk about where the baby goes in the new pram, and the bubba bed, but she has also tried to hit the baby because it makes Mummy sore.  We have a lot of quiet cuddle time at the moment.

I've also hit upon that awful thing that is constipation.  I managed to mostly avoid it last time, and had avoided it up until recently because (I think) of the iron injections keeping me super regular.  Now they've stopped (because my levels are much more normal thank you magic butt stab) so has any kind of 'regularity'.  I tried my usual home remedies - eating licorice and prunes and drinking an abundance of lemon water but alas, to no avail.  And when I went to find my laxatives I realised that in my effervescent cleaning spree I had gotten rid of all expired medications, of which these were one.  Thankfully, a friend came to my aid yesterday and dropped something off that has actually worked.  So I will be feeling better soon (but also very glad Etta is at her Nana and Poppa's today as I am currently a bit of a state).

On the positive side of the super pregnant fence, I am now so huge the baby has no room.  That means it cannot smash me full force in the vagina.  This is good because that really hurt and if it were still smashing me like that after a week of thinking it was going to be born, I think I'd lose my fucking mind.  I mean, the baby is still moving and looking like a creepy alien in there, but its head is not hitting my cervix, so I'm good with that.  High five to you baby.  I just hope you can still fit out the door when the party's over.

Because I'm still pregnant and at home I've got a few more of the around-the-house jobs done.  Not the biggest one yet (getting our shed into a less death trappy state) - and our garden is a total jungle, but I can live with that.  And I get an extra pre-baby grocery shop in that I wasn't expecting which means even more pantry preparedness.*  This all feels pretty great, but now I'm at a bit of a loose end.  Maybe I'll actually get some proper rest time in before the baby gets here?  Maybe I'll even knit something for the new baby?  How novel!

This extra time has also, due to a random combination of events, given rise to a new business idea.  A plausible, within-my-particular-skill-set-and-interests, completely new business idea.  So my brain is going a million miles a minute on that and it's all very exciting.  I won't have time or brain room to actually start working on it properly until the new baby is here and our family's sanity has stabilised, but it's something else to look forward to and to play with in the meantime - a new place to stretch my creative muscle.  Watch this space**!

So yeah... super pregnancy does suck but I'm over it sucking.  So I'm doing the thing now that I didn't really did last time - slowing down.  I am still doing the basic, menial jobs of life (dishes, washing, cooking), but I am also reading, writing, thinking and making and enjoying my last windows of total one-on-one time with Etta.  So maybe I won't go completely mental at 39 weeks?  Maybe in another week's time I'll be in a truly zen like state resulting in a fabulously straight forward labour with no complications?  Here's hoping! 

* Yeah, I know it's lame the things I get excited about - but it means another shop of exciting and strange tinned meals that I can select myself!  And I can try those crazy Indian box meals to see if I want more.  Oh, the excitement this brings to my week!
 
** You'll have to watch for a while - but trust me, it'll be worth it.  It's a fabulous plan if I do say so myself and I'm definitely going to give it a real shot.  For those of you who already know Murray and mine's current future business plans I must state this is not at all related.  Sadly we will not have enough capital or time to launch that particular plan for quite some time.  As in, that's the 10+-years-plan or the we've-won-Lotto-plan.  This is the sometime-in-the-next-year-Hannah's-additional-'baby'-more-for-the-love-than-the-money-plan.

You are probably tired of these pregnancy updates by now, but...

There are only so many fat pregnancy/unborn child photos one can post.  So here's a pic of one we prepared earlier.  Special thanks to my cousin Charlotte for sending me this photo, and also to Alicia Khoo who is a brilliant wedding photographer.

Yay! 36 weeks!

So today was the sizing scan and birth plan day and it was all as good as could be expected.  Actually, even better!

The scan showed that we have a baby in there measuring about a week ahead.  That's cool.  That's pretty consistent with what our Midwife has been measuring via fundal height.  The baby's 'weight' (although I know this is probably total bollocks) is around 6lb 5oz - so if it were born now it'd probably be ok.  All the bits of the baby are in good working order - even the lungs are 'practice' breathing and the placenta is in a good place for labour.  The head is measuring slightly small which is excellent as far as my lady bits are concerned.  And I too have a small head, and I've turned out just fine.*

The best (and most random) part about the scan is that the radiologist told us we were having the opposite flavour baby than what we were told last time.  She then took it back but we don't know whether it was because she spoke too soon, or just because she freaked out for saying the opposite of what someone else had said.  We told her it was perfect, as despite my being so impatient and 'finding out' at the 20 week scan, we will now still kinda get a surprise baby.  We have no preference, we don't have gendered clothing - we just want a healthy baby so it's all good.

Then, as it was Etta's day at her Nana and Poppa's, Murray and I went to brunch.  It was excellent.  Then we played a board game.  I won.  That was also excellent.  Fabulous surprise midweek date-and-baby-planning day.

Then on to see our wonderful Midwife and go through the birth plan.

Basically, provided nothing goes heinously wrong I get to try to have my ideal birthing scenario.  So we'll be labouring at home until I deem it necessary to go into hospital.  When I arrive at hospital I will have fetal monitoring to check all is well with the baby.  Once that's done with and if there's a pool available and if there is no meconium or blood in the waters (if they have broken), I can have another go at water birthing.  We'll have subsequent monitoring if anything indicates we need it, otherwise it'll just be 'fun' pool time for me.  Fingers crossed the planets align for Plan A!

And if things do go a bit wrong, and I end up having to have another C Section all is not lost.  We have made plans for this eventuality too.  Thanks to a friend I read up on the 'natural C Section'.  Many of the things they suggest here also seem to be regular practice at Waitakere as they were definitely part of what happened when we had Etta.  However, there are a few other things from here I have stipulated as wanting if I am allowed - the biggest one for us being having the screen lowered so I can see the baby being born.  I didn't know I could potentially do this last time, and it was the only part of the birthing process I at all felt like I 'missed out' on.

And we've stipulated all our other wants and desires.  MUCH easier this time around having done it before and reading up on all the 'things'.  Most of what we're choosing to do is considered in the realm of 'natural' or 'hippy' - but we've just decided on things that make the most sense to us and statistically provide the best likely outcomes for our child.**

Because the scan showed a very healthy, happy, not-giant-but-smashy baby I am less convinced that I'll go into labour especially early.  Because this kid is obviously quite happy partying it up large in my uterus.  This is only gutting because from around the seven month mark this pregnancy has been quite painful.  By that, I mean being pregnant has me crying in pain most days.

I honestly think some of the Etta smash from the last labour has caused some scarring near my cervix, as every headbutt to the pelvis from this baby is excruciating.  And with it being a super active baby, headbutts are a frequent occurrence - particularly at night.  Etta's movements were sometimes uncomfortable, but never painful.  It's been difficult getting Murray, and anyone else who sees me in this pained state, to believe that nothing is actually wrong - it's just the baby moving and besides taking a bath, or moving my body into a certain position (kneeling on the floor resting my head and arms on the couch - not ideal for entertaining) there is not a lot I can do about it.  It impacts most of all on Etta, poor thing.  She is coping very well with everything considering.  The pain sucks, but hey, that's life.

So like last time I'm hanging in to get to the 37 week mark and then after that I'll be crossing my fingers every day that it'll be 'the day'.  My Midwife doesn't think I'll make full term because of my size, the baby's size and my previous history.  I hope she's right.  I think I'll labour somewhere between 38 and 39 weeks.  Only time will tell.  All I can say for sure is that if I make it past 39 weeks for your own safety, avoid our house like we have The Plague.  And maybe put some beer in the mailbox for Murray.  He will need it.

*                             *                            *                             *                            *

I don't know why I didn't post this when I wrote it on Tuesday - probably cos no photo or something and being an OTT perfectionist.  It's also been a very-tired-and-sore week and my brain is not properly braining.  Anyhoo, it's now Sunday (very confusing with the whole Easter Weekend extra holidays thing) and I still have my fingers crossed for 37 weeks (only two sleeps to go!)  Especially as over the last few days I've been experiencing a whole lot of pre-labour symptoms - a certain one of which has us on a clock of sorts so expecting bubs to turn up sometime in the next week (it could even be two weeks, although after this happened with Etta it was about three days).

So cross your fingers for us for the next 48 hours!  I will cross my legs...

* Feel free to argue this point.

** We're not totally out there.  We are pro Vitamin K but also pro delayed cord clamping.  I wish I had the stomach to eat the placenta because it is totally full of nutrients and a very good idea - but I don't and I know I just can't.  And  putting it into capsules seems almost counter intuitive to me.  So we'll be doing what we did with Etta's and taking it home to bury with a karakia and eventually eat it via whatever fruit grows from the tree planted above instead.