And then a baby (additional info)

Wow!  Just re-read my last blog post and realised all the bits I missed and things that make little sense.  Not beating myself up as wrote it in that insanity that is the first week post baby but thought I'd catch you up on some things:

1) The reason I mentioned the 'accidents' is because I think they were my labour indicators.  My body was just so over being pregnant it decided to stop.  I'm super glad.  I was over being pregnant, and knew the likelihood was that my baby was big enough (given my large measurements) to be born so feel no guilt about that.

2) I may have aided baby coming when it did if you believe in old wives tales.  I had been eating induction cookies.  In part because I found the recipe and it looked amazing.  In part because I really wanted the baby to come and I was over it.  The cookies were fucking amazing.  I shared them with friends and family.  Seriously, they are tasty.  I made mine slightly spicier than the recipe (a little extra cayenne) and they were fab.

And the night before I went into labour we did have Indian food.  This wasn't to hurry the baby, but merely because it was our four year Civil Unionersary and we wanted to do something nice, but cheap (cos poor) so picked one of those dealio website deals at the closest restaurant in the cuisine we liked most and went for it.  We ended up at a place called Shor Bazaar in Lynfield which looked nice from their website but on arrival were a bit terrified (sandwiched between a KFC, a TAB and a Wendy's) but OMG it was awesome!  Although the deal was for a regular course, we ended up ordering starters and desserts and ate all things we'd never tried before - which is an achievement as I used to work in Indian restaurants and love and eat a LOT of Indian food.  I didn't order a spice level any higher than I normally would as wanted to enjoy the meal.  And no, I don't think eating curry made me go into labour.

3) Yes, I had a drug free birth (besides Panadol taken earlier that day for hip pain) but believe me, I was begging for drugs - there was just no time!  I had started going into transition before we even left for the hospital (hence my urgency) and because everything happened so fast I was not well pleased.  Because I could get into the water fairly quickly once at hospital though, I soon felt ok without drugs as had gotten over the shock of being in labour and found my groove.

4) I didn't realise or know how much blood I'd lost until a few days after having Abby.  I did know I was lying in a pool of my own blood, but had no idea how normal/abnormal that was as had never had a vaginal delivery before.  And I couldn't actually see how much blood there was - I just knew it was there.  I later found out I was very close to the amount of blood loss where you have to sound all the bells and whistles and get the Drs and people into the room - I am so glad I did not.  It was very nice having just me, Murray and Vanessa (my brilliant Midwife) in our little, private feeling delivery suite feeling awesome.

The only ill effects I noticed from this blood loss was that I was a bit shaky when I did get up for a shower (a couple of hours after having Abby), and was having some difficulty breathing (like when I was anaemic).  Luckily, I had a bag of treats and a few fistfuls of chocolate coated raisins and a cup of tea remedied this fairly quickly.

5) Murray freaked out a bit when Abby was born because she didn't cry (like on TV).  She was fine - it was just because of the delayed cord clamping.  She was also extremely chill for her first couple of days on this earth, and still is (touch wood) most of the time.  Whilst Murray had discussed cutting the cord, in the end he decided not to having done it with Etta and found it a little 'barbaric' after his last experience cutting the cord in the C Section, which we all decided was fair enough.

6) Abby was eleven days early - a week later exactly than Etta who was eighteen days early.  Abby weighed 7lb 8oz - Etta weighed 6lb 15oz - so had they been born at similar times I think they would have been similar weights.  However, Abby was/is SO FAT.  Like, she looks as though you could poke her tummy and she'd pop like a balloon.  Stark contrast to Etta who was a very skinny wee thing.  Abby is also super tall.  51cm at birth, and now 52cm just over a week on.

7) While we would have loved to go to the Helensville Birthing Units from Waitakere unfortunately, the inn was full.  April is a very popular month to give birth, so I wasn't surprised.  Retrospectively, it was great coming straight home as injected some normalcy into this whole thing for Etta.  She only had one night without Mummy and her routines haven't changed.  We figure the easier we can make the transition for her the easier she will make it for us.

8) We took a couple of days to name Abby as when she was born none of the names we'd had seemed quite right.  We did end up going back to a name we'd had in mind - one that Murray had chosen - but after we'd gotten to know her a bit better.  While Etta made her personality clear from before birth, Abby has been a little quieter so we needed a little time to get to know her better.  And while people grow into their monikers, they do have them for life (unless they hate it so much they change it) so it's nice to at least try to get it right.

9) I am so lucky to have had the Midwife I had.  I am glad that I trusted her decisions even in times I was a little anxious about them.  I am so grateful that I laboured under the current system (midwives) rather than the system my Mum laboured under (GP's).  There is no way a GP could have had the level of knowledge Vanessa had to get me comfortably through my pregnancy, labour and these early days with a new baby.  We are so, so lucky to have this in New Zealand.  I do think it's all about finding the right person for you, so if you are not happy, or at all uncomfortable with your Midwife, and have time do shop around.  It will make a trying time so much easier if you have the support that works for you and a good relationship with those giving it.  Especially if you are looking at having a VBAC.

10) I cannot express enough the difference between my emergency C Section and this natural labour.  Again, while I wasn't at all upset or anything by Etta's delivery, Abby's was just so much simpler even if her delivery was in some ways more hands on.  Recovering from a natural birth - even with a small tear and difficult delivery - has been so much faster and simpler than recovering from my C Section.  And with a full on toddler I was so grateful to have the opportunity for a natural birth.  Again, I was very low risk to try for a VBAC, so this choice will not be best for everyone.

For me even had this labour had resulted in another emergency C Section I would have been glad to have tried as because I had done the 'labour' thing before, this time I felt more comfortable with it - I wasn't at all scared.  And while labour is 'labour' and hard and sore, I managed to get to that place they talk about in hypnobirthing - mostly because I knew I would be ok, and I knew this was only for a short period of my life.

While Abby was not in the best of positions (head funny angle, shoulders around the wrong way, cord over shoulder) she was not face first or posterior which made for a much easier delivery.  While I'm sure it would have been possible to birth Etta naturally, it would have been very difficult and traumatic for both of us to have done so.  And while I am glad to have managed a natural birth this time (mostly so I am able to look after my busy toddler easier) I am so grateful to have had the option of a C Section with Etta.

and then a Baby!

Excuse the bad photos - we totally forgot the camera with all the rush but here is our new, bigger family.

So after what felt like a really long pregnancy, but was actually not very long at all, we got to meet that very active person who was living inside me at 11.34pm on Friday night.

In the days preceding labour I had two accidents. 

Wednesday was the only day I had home alone with Etta.  That morning she had been quite tantrummy, so despite being sore decided it best for us both to venture out on the bus to Henderson.  This went very well until just before home time where I tripped backward over one of those electric cable pole things that was inconveniently sticking out of the footpath in a bus stop.  Thankfully I fell onto the cushion of my butt, and besides being embarrassed, shaken and glad the pram didn't roll into the busy thoroughfare, pretty much unscathed.*

On Thursday after hanging out some washing Etta (unsurprisingly) decided she wanted some more outside play time.  Me, not being someone who likes to waste time, decided I could maybe pull some of the overgrown grass off the footpath so Etta would stop injuring herself attempting to wade through that jungle.  I got a few pavers uncovered when I experienced some of the sharpest pain I ever randomly had. 

The whole of the left side of my abdomen was on fire - it hurt to walk and breathe.  I called my Midwife to check it out and it was just muscular, but still ridiculously sore.  I had a fun time coercing Etta into the safety of inside the house without picking her up (as couldn't) and then she pooed at exactly the least convenient moment ever - the most painful nappy change of my life.  I couldn't rest or get myself better so had Etta's Nana come and get her early (she was gonna hang with her later anyway as it was Murray and my 4th Civil Union Anniversary) so I could rest.  After 15 minutes of being able to actually sit down with a wheat pack on my side I felt like a fully functional human again.**  Which was great as meant we could go out and celebrate our anniversary with some amazingly good curry (and still be home for bed by 9pm).

Phew!  Then on Friday I just felt crampy and generally crappy.  But having felt like that many days over the last few weeks I didn't think anything of it.  Mum was over to help out with Etta and we had a pretty relaxed day.  We got another grocery shop done and had a little tidy.  I had home-made pizza premade in the freezer so we had that for dinner.  All was pretty normal really apart from having smashed my body in the two days before and being much more uncoordinated than usual.

Now before I share the nitty gritty of labour I want to preface it by saying:
1) I bitch and moan but I actually had a complications free pregnancy
2) I am generally (besides my guts and brain) a very healthy person
3) My last emergency C Section was due to baby's positioning
4) I have an extremely supportive Midwife that I have a great relationship with

What I'm trying to say is, I was really very low risk for anything going badly wrong with a VBAC.

Now I can continue.

Straight after large pizza dinner while sitting on the couch I felt and heard a 'pop'.  I was pretty sure my waters had broken, but after mad dash to the bathroom there was only a little discharge.  After a second little 'flow' thingee I put my incontinence pants on as knew something was up but wasn't really sure as it was completely different from the dam bust that was my waters with Etta.  Then the contractions started.

That was a shock.

With Etta I had a 17 hour labour which started with fairly mild contractions following my waters breaking (very obviously) - so I didn't experience strong contractions until after almost 7 hours of smaller ones building up.  This time it was just strong contractions lasting 1 - 2 minutes 3 - 5 minutes apart straight off the bat.  I got Murray to call our Midwife to let her know, and my Mum to come to our place.  This was for sure labour, and despite wanting to labour at home as long as possible, I felt we were pretty much there - this was more consistent than my contractions ever were when I was in labour with Etta.  Despite being advised to re-examine things when Mum arrived after half an hour I was like nope, hospital now.***

I was right.  We were 5cm dilated when we arrived at Waitakere and I was not happy.  I was begging for drugs but needed a little fetal monitoring before we could do anything.  The bath had been running before we got there and my fab Midwife did the monitoring and internal exam ASAP when we arrived and for as little time as possible - I think probably less than 20 minutes.  I didn't have an IV inserted - I didn't even think about it as was going into transition.  As soon as possible I hopped into the birthing pool (it wasn't full enough yet) and continued labouring there.

Oh dear lord I love birthing pools!  It took me a little bit, but I managed to get into a far more zen state than I had with Etta.  I just breathed through the contractions kneeling in the bath resting my chin on top of the bath and told myself this wouldn't take long - this wasn't forever and did the whole 'each contraction brings me closer to my baby' bollocks (secretly followed by the 'I just need to get through this and I won't be pregnant ever again' mantra).  And it helped.  I was seriously only in the pool about half an hour when I started feeling the urge to push and had the go ahead to go for it.

It would be lovely if I could tell you it was like all those labours where they're like 'and I did three big pushes and then we had a baby', but that wasn't the case.  The pushing part of this labour was as long as the previous part, so it was hard slog.  We pushed in the bath for about half an hour, then decided to move positions to see if we could get some more stuff going on.  So moved to the bed and did like a rested squat pushing thing.  This did get some movement happening, but again, it was slow, so then we moved into that awful position people are in in the movies.  This was initially uncomfortable, but was obviously progressing things so I just focused on the job at hand.

There was a period of worry.  With Etta we got to 'the corner' and she just kept slipping back.  When we got to that point this time it seemed like it might happen again - only it didn't.  While this baby slipped back a little both Murray and my Midwife reassured me pretty much every push was getting a little more traction which helped keep me on track.  My Midwife said we were so progressed this baby was going to be a vaginal delivery no matter what so I did what I could to make that happen.

It still took time.  It got to the point where I could see the baby's head too (via a mirror) and was so like 'it MUST be going to be some time in the next few pushes!' and it still wasn't.  Eventually it got to the point where the baby was out to the eyebrows and then team Murray/Midwife were like 'just give it all the weetbix you've got!' so I figured something might happen.

In the birthing videos and movies I've seen this is the part where the Mum gives a really epic screamy push and the head slowly pops out, and then the body kinda slithers out like a worm - so that's kinda what I thought would happen.  It didn't.  The baby's head came out on a slight angle, and then her shoulders were around the wrong way and her cord was looped over one shoulder and was being compressed.  So my Midwife did some serious crazy quick handwork (whilst also trying to keep a thumb on a vaginal tear that was just opening up and dealing with a woman with a head coming out of her vagina), which, while it took some time and was quite scary (and fucking sore) from where I was sitting was the magic that got us a healthy baby in the end.

So out she popped covered in vernix and slime and slopped onto my chest and promptly shat meconium everywhere.  She was soooo ugly!  She was quite battered from the birth with a fair few bruises and an actually black nose and very cold from the shoulder/cord issues.  We waited for the cord to stop pulsing, but were on a bit of a timer as my Midwife wanted the placenta out quickly as I was bleeding quite a bit and she wasn't sure how bad the tear I'd had was.  So we did have some delay on clamping, but then all systems go with an injection to bring out the placenta (like birthing a giant steak - simple compared to what came prior) so she could make sure I was ok.

I was.  I didn't need any stitches.  When I saw the bloodbath a while later I could understand the concern, and I could understand why Murray had moved to the head end of things.  He has subsequently said the manipulations required down there to get our new one born was the goriest thing he'd ever seen, and basically I have props for life for going through that.  I was fine though.  I had my new baby and was no longer pregnant and it only took about four hours to get through that whole thing!

And then we had some chill time in the delivery suite.  Because it was all so fast, none of the other hospital staff had any idea we'd even had a baby.  At some point out in the corridor we heard a nurse ask our Midwife how progressed I was, and she was like 'we had a baby about an hour ago'.  It was really nice.  Whilst I was totally happy with Etta's birth, this was a very different experience.  I guess it felt more personal - I don't really know how else to put it.  It was just us three (and our baby) for all the things you don't really want other people to see.  Nothing was medicalised.  I had one needle prick.  The only drugs I had had were Panadol, and within a couple of hours I was walking around and had a shower and peed and it was quite surreal.

I was home proper after about 13 hours after going in to hospital.

There is much more to say about this, but I will continue on another day.  Our toddler is playing with Mum outside in the sun, Murray's gone out to have some well deserved time to himself and our new little girl, Abby, is just waking up after a deliciously long nap.

*It did make my bad hip a bit worse, so from then until post labour I had a bit of a limp and was a bit sore.  

** The BIG difference between being pregnant with children, and being pregnant without.  The big difference between life with and without children in general!

*** Again, our fantastic neighbour saved the day as our stop gap.  Sooo lucky to have the neighbours we have.