So it's that time of year again...
For me, it's a hectic, stressful time. Not just because Christmas, but because I work retail at Christmas. This year, I have decided to pull back a bit, which has been helped by enforced limitations (broken oven, poor health). Being on medication has aided me greatly in my ability to do this.
Don't get me wrong - I love Christmas. For me, Christmas is the season of giving - which is why I often end up over-committing myself to gift projects and baking and events. It is also the season of family. Christmas Day is all about spending time with family - both my immediate and extended. The time around Christmas is all about showing those friends and whanau further afield that I care. This is important, because in the craziness that is daily life I know I miss a lot of opportunities to do this. Christmas time is an opportunity to give to those who have already given so much to me.
And I can do all of these things without Santa.
The major problems I have with Santa are all expressed in this blog post from four years ago. There is no point in restating these issues - for me nothing has changed.
What has changed is that I now have more cognitive children who have their own ideas. Whilst we have iterated to Etta that Santa is not real, but is a modern representation of St Nicholas (who we have taught her about), that many children grow up thinking he is real, and that is ok too. While I'd love to say she understands that part of things - she doesn't. I heard her tell her bestie that Santa wasn't real. The bestie replied that she was wrong - he was real - she'd seen him at the mall. Etta has also seen him at the mall. She is on the fence about the reality of Santa.
Terrifying Queen Street Santa -
The lord of creepy marketing
And that's ok. The main thing for me is that I'm not lying, and there is no pressure on the 'good' and the 'bad' regarding presents at home. What Etta chooses to believe is her choice. We will not denigrate it. But we will also not reinforce it by introducing gifts from this fiction at home.
Working in retail I have seen a new negative side to Santa. The first weekend that Santa was in the mall the shopping atmosphere changed. Overnight, it shifted from cavalier shoppers looking at their lists and feeling a bit smug about being on track for Christmas, to folk madly darting this way and that aimlessly searching for 'the right gift'. I actually told a man who appeared to be losing his mind to go sit down and have a coffee and make a list on his phone before stepping back inside Farmers. I was genuinely concerned for his ability to make rational decisions he wouldn't regret. This was on the 25th of November.
This is in no way Mall Santa's fault. This is 100% the fault of marketing and consumerism. For many, Santa has become a visual symbol of the need to fulfill some weird emotional/fiscal obligation. This is just sad. While I agree with what many friends and family say - Santa is about giving - he has been commercialised to the point that he is also now associated with buying. This is sad. And it reaffirms to me that keeping my home free of this symbol is not a bad thing.
I work in retail, so I know that product placement for Christmas actually begins the last week of September. Three months before the 25th of December. It sounds insane (and I am of the mind that it is), but from a profit generation perspective it isn't. It programs folk to be looking ahead for Christmas. It helps fix that shopping mindset into the back of shoppers brains. This is a great little read about just a few of the tactics employed by retailers coming up until Christmas. Christmas is all about the dollars for retailers.
And Santa... Santa is the icon of the spending.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
This is just my perspective. I am just trying to explain why we don't have Santa. As I said earlier, I have no issue with other people having Santa. And I am not trying to convince you to get rid of Santa - I am not going to be the Vegan at the Christmas dinner explaining all the bad things about pig farms* while you eat ham. Eat the ham if you want - just understand that it's ok if I choose not to partake.
I am saying this as we have experienced all sorts of responses to us not having Santa. From straight up outrage, to accusations of 'ruining the magic of childhood', to assumptions that we must be Jehovah's Witnesses - or more generally that we must not celebrate Christmas. I do struggle to understand why something which has no impact on anyone but us, is any kind of a big deal to anyone else.
Because for us, it's not. It helps us focus on our family and how we show appreciation for each other. Our kids know their gifts come from us, because we love them and work hard to choose things that both reflect our values, and their interests. It helps us not go OTT. Christmas is a time to recharge - Christmas stocking fillers in our house include things like batteries, new felt pens (if needed), sunblock, bubble bath and fruit. They do get treat things too, but we try to keep these to a minimum as we know they will be spoiled with this stuff from other family members**.
Shoeboxes with little gifts and treats (under $15 each)
Simplifying also helps us have a little more money at Christmas time to give to others who have greater need than us. This year the kids decided to do Christmas In A Shoebox and we made up boxes for children in Northland that may otherwise not have very much (if anything) for Christmas. When they are bigger, I hope we can do more together for charity. To me - this is all part of giving at Christmas - it's important to give back to our community.
People are in shock that many children are asking for socks and underwear for Christmas. I struggle to understand how this is shocking when we have the worst homelessness rates in the OECD. I cannot say how big my Christmas wish is that this were not the case. I am not trying to be a downer - but I cannot celebrate Christmas without being conscious that so many others are less fortunate than I am. And it is important to me that my children understand this so they can have compassion for others at what, for some, is an extremely difficult time of the year.
Christmas is a time of added stress for many. It is unsurprising that our domestic violence rates peak during the holiday period. There is more financial pressure, there is more pressure on additional childcare (holidays) and there is more pressure to spend time with family. It is also a time where people may acutely feel a lack of family - maybe they have become estranged, maybe someone they love has passed away in the last year. During this time of year, these losses can feel much more acute.
Christmas can be hard for many people for many reasons. It is important to remember this.
In saying that, we still celebrate. We still gather as a family. We have a tree. I make and bake gifts. We still eat delicious food*** and crack crackers and tell bad jokes. We still enjoy each others company and share gifts and good times and kindness. We can remember others, and we can still celebrate what we have.
And our kids still definitely share in the magic that is Christmas.
Meri Kirihimete everyone! No matter how you celebrate. No matter how much or how little you have, I wish everyone peace and love and kindness at this time of the year.
* This example is not indicative of all vegans.
** And we have a really big family!
*** No ham in this house either.
For me, it's a hectic, stressful time. Not just because Christmas, but because I work retail at Christmas. This year, I have decided to pull back a bit, which has been helped by enforced limitations (broken oven, poor health). Being on medication has aided me greatly in my ability to do this.
Me last Christmas night after all the madness.
Enjoying some quality time with our cat family.
Enjoying some quality time with our cat family.
And I can do all of these things without Santa.
The major problems I have with Santa are all expressed in this blog post from four years ago. There is no point in restating these issues - for me nothing has changed.
What has changed is that I now have more cognitive children who have their own ideas. Whilst we have iterated to Etta that Santa is not real, but is a modern representation of St Nicholas (who we have taught her about), that many children grow up thinking he is real, and that is ok too. While I'd love to say she understands that part of things - she doesn't. I heard her tell her bestie that Santa wasn't real. The bestie replied that she was wrong - he was real - she'd seen him at the mall. Etta has also seen him at the mall. She is on the fence about the reality of Santa.
Terrifying Queen Street Santa -
The lord of creepy marketing
Working in retail I have seen a new negative side to Santa. The first weekend that Santa was in the mall the shopping atmosphere changed. Overnight, it shifted from cavalier shoppers looking at their lists and feeling a bit smug about being on track for Christmas, to folk madly darting this way and that aimlessly searching for 'the right gift'. I actually told a man who appeared to be losing his mind to go sit down and have a coffee and make a list on his phone before stepping back inside Farmers. I was genuinely concerned for his ability to make rational decisions he wouldn't regret. This was on the 25th of November.
This is in no way Mall Santa's fault. This is 100% the fault of marketing and consumerism. For many, Santa has become a visual symbol of the need to fulfill some weird emotional/fiscal obligation. This is just sad. While I agree with what many friends and family say - Santa is about giving - he has been commercialised to the point that he is also now associated with buying. This is sad. And it reaffirms to me that keeping my home free of this symbol is not a bad thing.
I work in retail, so I know that product placement for Christmas actually begins the last week of September. Three months before the 25th of December. It sounds insane (and I am of the mind that it is), but from a profit generation perspective it isn't. It programs folk to be looking ahead for Christmas. It helps fix that shopping mindset into the back of shoppers brains. This is a great little read about just a few of the tactics employed by retailers coming up until Christmas. Christmas is all about the dollars for retailers.
And Santa... Santa is the icon of the spending.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
This is just my perspective. I am just trying to explain why we don't have Santa. As I said earlier, I have no issue with other people having Santa. And I am not trying to convince you to get rid of Santa - I am not going to be the Vegan at the Christmas dinner explaining all the bad things about pig farms* while you eat ham. Eat the ham if you want - just understand that it's ok if I choose not to partake.
I am saying this as we have experienced all sorts of responses to us not having Santa. From straight up outrage, to accusations of 'ruining the magic of childhood', to assumptions that we must be Jehovah's Witnesses - or more generally that we must not celebrate Christmas. I do struggle to understand why something which has no impact on anyone but us, is any kind of a big deal to anyone else.
Because for us, it's not. It helps us focus on our family and how we show appreciation for each other. Our kids know their gifts come from us, because we love them and work hard to choose things that both reflect our values, and their interests. It helps us not go OTT. Christmas is a time to recharge - Christmas stocking fillers in our house include things like batteries, new felt pens (if needed), sunblock, bubble bath and fruit. They do get treat things too, but we try to keep these to a minimum as we know they will be spoiled with this stuff from other family members**.
Shoeboxes with little gifts and treats (under $15 each)
Simplifying also helps us have a little more money at Christmas time to give to others who have greater need than us. This year the kids decided to do Christmas In A Shoebox and we made up boxes for children in Northland that may otherwise not have very much (if anything) for Christmas. When they are bigger, I hope we can do more together for charity. To me - this is all part of giving at Christmas - it's important to give back to our community.People are in shock that many children are asking for socks and underwear for Christmas. I struggle to understand how this is shocking when we have the worst homelessness rates in the OECD. I cannot say how big my Christmas wish is that this were not the case. I am not trying to be a downer - but I cannot celebrate Christmas without being conscious that so many others are less fortunate than I am. And it is important to me that my children understand this so they can have compassion for others at what, for some, is an extremely difficult time of the year.
Christmas is a time of added stress for many. It is unsurprising that our domestic violence rates peak during the holiday period. There is more financial pressure, there is more pressure on additional childcare (holidays) and there is more pressure to spend time with family. It is also a time where people may acutely feel a lack of family - maybe they have become estranged, maybe someone they love has passed away in the last year. During this time of year, these losses can feel much more acute.
Christmas can be hard for many people for many reasons. It is important to remember this.
In saying that, we still celebrate. We still gather as a family. We have a tree. I make and bake gifts. We still eat delicious food*** and crack crackers and tell bad jokes. We still enjoy each others company and share gifts and good times and kindness. We can remember others, and we can still celebrate what we have.
And our kids still definitely share in the magic that is Christmas.
Etta and Abby last Christmas playing with a singing Christmas ball
in a tent at Nana and Poppa's
Meri Kirihimete everyone! No matter how you celebrate. No matter how much or how little you have, I wish everyone peace and love and kindness at this time of the year.
* This example is not indicative of all vegans.
** And we have a really big family!
*** No ham in this house either.
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