Just something to think on... not like I have time to bake cakes. And sorry about bad formatting, not sure how to change the video embedding thing and too tired to learn...
Hi Blog, sorry we haven't spoken for so long. Sorry our first conversation in ages has to
be like this, but some things need to be vented. Now.
I am extremely time poor.
Many people are these days, and this is not really a
complaint, more an annoyance that in this instance everyone assumes that
because I am a stay at home Mum I have all the time in the world. People seem to think that I'm just itching
for company parked in front of the TV eating chips. That I crave adult conversation and have
nothing interesting to do while I'm at home looking after my 8 month old. That I have nothing better to do.
It's just not true. It's not even close to true. I am busier now than I was when I was working fifty hour weeks. This is why it's been so long since I last blogged. I find it hard to find time or brain or both coinciding at a point in time when I am home alone (ie: at home with Etta but not under pressure to spend time with other adult humans). Some days I forget to go to the toilet. At the top of my daily 'jobs list' I write:
It's just not true. It's not even close to true. I am busier now than I was when I was working fifty hour weeks. This is why it's been so long since I last blogged. I find it hard to find time or brain or both coinciding at a point in time when I am home alone (ie: at home with Etta but not under pressure to spend time with other adult humans). Some days I forget to go to the toilet. At the top of my daily 'jobs list' I write:
'eat breakfast,
brush my teeth and wash my face'.
Because otherwise I'd forget.
Because otherwise I'd forget.
So I find it extremely irritating that people assume that
my schedule is wide open, and they can just pop by for a cup of tea any
time. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful
to have friends and family that care enough to visit, I'm just saying I'd love
a heads up.
Because I don't actually have that much time available.
So to summarise (because I don't have much time) these
are the things I might have otherwise been doing with my time when people stop
by to visit:
-
Calming an overtired cranky baby. We have a pretty easy baby compared to
some. But if you pop by in the middle of
me attempting to get her to nap when she's unhappy, you will likely encounter
a frustrated, overtired cranky Mum. Not only that, but your mere presence is likely to lay all my carefully put in groundwork aside, and make it harder for me to get her to sleep.
Which is not only not fun for the immediate, visit time, but also not
fun for me for the rest of the day, and potentially, night. If I were expecting you I could postpone the
visit (even by maybe half an hour) and make things nicer for all parties
involved.
-
House work.
This needs to be done regularly to maintain my sanity and ensure Etta
does not choke on dust-bunnies (she has).
This includes: (but is in no way limited to) washing dishes, drying dishes,
doing laundry, running-about-like-a-mad-thing-when-it's-about-to-rain-bringing-washing-in,
scrubbing/vacuuming/mopping, mending clothes, cleaning the bathroom and toilet,
cleaning the windows, tidying the pantry/fridge/freezer, wiping down benches/the
oven/light switches/skirting boards/doors, cleaning up after faeces/vomit /saliva/unknown.
-
Organising our way-too-much-stuff. I'm trying to organise our clutter so that
once Etta starts crawling (I've probably got a month) everything is not
destroyed in a baby-tsunami and I will not have to dedicate even more time to
cleaning.
-
Reading about babies. I know nought of these things, and every day is
different so there is MUCH to learn.
-
Making baby food. Etta is eating more and more these days, and
I am her personal chef as buying baby food is uneconomical. Plus making baby food is kinda fun.
-
Making adult food. We're on a budget here. And I have a Murray. And he needs to be fed. And making adult food is also kinda fun. Attempting to master gluten free sourdough
right now. Being a tight arse is fun!
-
Breastfeeding.
Not only do I need time for my excited-about-everything baby to just
focus on eating and not other people (or cats), but I need time to
eat/drink/sleep/be healthy to ensure I can do this for as long as Etta
needs me to.
-
Having a shower.
-
Going for a walk. To get things or get rid of things. Or to get some vitamin D. Or to have some
time out from a fussy baby. Usually all
of the above.
-
Gardening.
Although our gardens are pretty low maintenance there is still always
weeding and harvesting to be done.
-
Getting help and support via parenting forums. Seriously, invaluable. Like a coffee group, only you can access
whenever you want/need and don't have to leave the house. Or get dressed.
-
Budgeting and planning. This sounds boring, but it's one of the
important ways I feel I contribute to our family. It keeps us on track to end goal(s) and helps
us appreciate the small things (we saved x here so we can now spend y
here. Yay!)
-
Doing online surveys for $$ - another small (but
important way) I contribute to our family.
Surveys funded a significant portion of our Christmas last year.
-
Working.
I have a job. It is small, but I
am struggling at the moment to put in the minimum amount of time I'd like in,
and would love to be able to put more time in.
-
Spending time with our neglected pets. Pretty important.
-
Spending time with my neglected partner. Also pretty important (not as likely if you
drop by on a weekday, but never assume).
-
Relaxing.
I don't get much time to do this.
So you might catch me JUST about to sit down with a cup of tea and no
work/cleaning/jobs, maybe for the first time in three days.
-
Spending precious little one-on-one time with my
daughter. Time is flying by and soon she
won't be excited by the weird noises I can make, or my singing, or stories, or
the jolly jumper. I'm a stay-at-home Mum for a reason, and this is
really it. We actually go out or have
friends over more days of the week than not, so time alone with Etta is
precious and super exciting.
And there are things I'd like to be doing with time,
but seldom manage:
-
Blogging.
I'd love to do more of this. I
have plenty to say that isn't just crazy rants.
-
Drawing.
Now our house is tidier my brain is a little clearer and I think I might actually be able to start
practicing this again. I really hope so. Maybe even painting.
-
Knitting.
I don't really even have brain for this much at the moment. It sucks.
-
Sewing. I
worked out how to make some things over Christmas. I'd love to make some of those things for
me. And maybe some other things.
- Learning. Pretty keen to do some online courses in prep for going back fore more study in the coming years.
-
Sleeping.
Yeah right. Once Etta masters
regular 2 hour naps maybe...
I am sure that being time-poor is not unique to myself as
a stay at home Mum. And I'm also sure
that some Mum's aren't as worried about people dropping by, but most of us
probably aren't just lazing around at home eating chocolates and watching telly
waiting for people to 'drop 'round'.
Most of us are actually really busy just being stay at home Mum's. It's no small task.
So if you do want to visit a SAHM that's very lovely and
thoughtful of you, maybe just do us the courtesy of calling to check first.
If we have time, we might even bake you a cake.
