Every now and then our nation goes totally crazy over a local news article. In this case, people have started a petition, managed to get popular radio hosts taken off air, and have even offered a $4000NZD reward for 'footage of the Roast Busters getting hidings'. I just wanted to talk about why I think there has been such a massive response to the Roast Busters case. Just in case anyone out there didn't understand.
In terms of numbers men and women are fairly equal in New Zealand - we have 0.99 males per female - which means we have about 2.3 million women living here. And of those women, about 25% of them will have been sexually assaulted as girls. That's 575,000 women - almost 13% of all Kiwi's.* So if we just think about these people, if we forget about everyone else who thinks that having sex with underage drunk girls and bragging about it on the internet is not ok, we're looking at a large percentage of our population for whom this case probably feels quite personal. That's a lot of people.
I am one of those people. I am not one of the people who is traumatised by this, but it is probably why I care enough about this case to write this post. I never reported the date-rape (whilst comatose drunk), or the many sexual assaults as, like many, I thought they were probably my fault. And because these things happened to other people I knew, I figured it was normal, not something worth reporting and not a big deal.
But it is a big deal, and these days we seem to be (or are supposed to be) more aware of that. And because we (the people) should be more aware, our police should be too. The second reason people are upset is because of the handling of this case by police. Like many other people, I thought our law enforcement teams had evolved past asking a 13 year old rape victim about what she was wearing. This information is irrelevant and unhelpful victim blaming. Willie Jackson and John Tamihere's interview with 'Amy' about the Roast Busters actions generated more victim blaming, which sat in stark contrast to their description of the boys actions as 'mischief'.
An estimated 90% of sexual assaults go unreported in New Zealand. I don't think it's hard to see why when our police** and our elders (two political figures/media personalities) clearly do not take sexual assault seriously. When you are traumatised and you know you were doing something you probably shouldn't have (drinking underage) when the assault happened, in the current environment you need a very stable sense of self worth to feel you can report it. And sexual assault is a pretty good tool at eroding a persons feeling of worth. The Police's treatment of this case has confirmed all our fears around reporting sexual assault.
And the third reason the fecal matter has really hit the fan is because one of the boys at the center of the scandal reportedly had familial links to the police investigating the case. Another boy has a famous father, and some investigative journalism turned up that Mr Tamihere is friends with another boys father. So it looks very much to the public as though preferential treatment has been given to these boys because of who they are.
We New Zealanders have a long history in protesting injustice (although the current government has attempted to quash this). From Parihaka's peaceful 'Year of the Plow', to the Springbok tour of '81, through to the recent Occupation of Aotea Square. We strongly support the underdog because, really, we are the underdog. So of course we rail against these boys and their celebrity Dad's treatment (or lack of treatment) regarding this case. It's just what we do.
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So that's why there's such a big fuss being made. And I agree that a big fuss should be made, but I am concerned that people are missing the big picture here. Although I understand the villagers/pitchforks/drive-them-out mentality, threatening these boys will not solve any problems. And as far as I'm concerned they are still boys. 18 is not as young as 13, but these boys were 16 when the specific incident happened. And 18 is still very young. At 18 I got myself into credit card debt and did all sorts of other stupid things (blame it all on the pre-frontal cortex). Don't get me wrong, I'm not excusing their behavior, but instead of destroying these boys, surely it's more important for us to ask why this happened?
Because I personally think (I could be wrong here though?) that our sexual assault statistics paint a pretty screwed up picture. The Roast Busters case is purely a symptom of a much bigger issue. The issue that we are failing to acknowledge, and it might be because they are children of celebrities, or because they go to public schools in West Auckland***, is that these boys are doing what MANY other boys are doing - the only difference is that they were stupid enough to brag about it on Facebook.
How do I know that many boys are doing this? Because 1/4 of our girls are being sexually assaulted. I don't think it takes a genius to realise that this means a large proportion of our boys/men think that sexual assault is ok. Sure, you can lie to yourself and say it's probably just a few bad apples doing all of the bad things, and that you know lots of guys, and none of them would ever sexually assault anyone, but I just don't think that's true.
As long as sexual assault goes unreported, and unpunished, we have an issue. And as long as people think a girl in a short skirt is 'asking for it', we have an issue. And as long as we think it's ok to disrespect women, we have an issue. I think the fourth reason this case is hit home is because secretly, deep down, most people know that we are accountable for it. I never reported what happened to me. I have no idea how many other girls/women those boys assaulted, or to what degree. My choice, although understandable, has helped form the environment these boys grew up in.
These boys need to be accountable for their actions, but not via a lynchmob. No-one can be surprised that a boy whose family friend said, on air, that sexually assaulting a 13 year old was 'mischief', would think this behavior was ok. As the chair of White Ribbon said regarding this case, the misogynistic attitudes of these boys are 'endemic' in New Zealand. This is what we really need to be looking at. Aspects of our rugby, racing and beer culture are well past their 'best before' date.
We need to teach our daughters differently. We need to teach them that no matter what happens, no matter what they're wearing, or how intoxicated they are, or if they've already given that boy oral sex, non-consensual sexual contact is not ok. We need to create a safer environment for these girls to talk about it. And we need to teach our sons differently. We need to model respect for all women. We need to teach them about equality, ESPECIALLY in terms of sexuality (that women and girls have a right to one). We need to teach them about consent.
We need to look at our own behaviors before we raise our pitchforks.****
* About 1 in 10 boys in NZ will also be sexually assaulted
** in this instance
*** As did I, and I can tell you right now it doesn't necessarily mean you are not a child of means, or of parents who love you, or of low intellect, or a 'trouble maker'
**** Even if the pitchfork is only $12.50 at Mitre 10
