I've done it.
I've survived another two weeks of children at home.
Another two weeks of sister on sister violence.
Another two weeks of hearing 'I'm bored!' when I've already suggested four things to do.
Another two weeks of counting the hours until the end of the holidays
I have no good parenting tips on how to get through this. I am never going to win a Mother Of The Year award. My techniques aren't going to work for everyone. But I survived. And here is how I did it.
I cashed in on other parents wanting to spend time with their kids by taking on more hours at work. The thing is that someone's got to do it. Some people straight up can't afford childcare for the holidays. Some folk aren't so lucky to have family available to help out. And those people need the flexibility of being able to take time off for the holidays. I'm lucky to have an amazingly supportive mother and a partner who loves spending time with his kids. So while I was limited in how much I could take on (because Mum and Murray can't do it every day!) I did take on a few extra hours to give me a little bit of space.
Etta with her bestie at Chipmunks
Playdates
While we didn't do as many of these as we'd planned, they really did help break up those two weeks. Etta got to spend a whole day with her bestie, while Abby got to spend that whole day alone with my Mum (one of her most favorite people) and I got to go to work. And when I got home from work they were actually nice to each other because they hadn't got under each others skin all day.
And when Etta's friend spent an afternoon here, it was just heavenly! Having that extra little person, even if she was technically 'Etta's' friend, broke up the usual dynamic so all the kids played together and I could actually do something enjoyable! I watched a (child appropriate) game show and knitted wash cloths for my hapu friend and actually got some writing done. I made up a plate of snacks that they could eat when they were hungry, and other than eating, they just played happily. Bliss!
We had planned an epic time at a local park with a bunch of school friends, but sadly this was thwarted by the weather. But I do think it would have been an awesome thing to do. Something I'll revisit in the Summer holidays. Often we'll stay at school to play on the playground with other families we know. This would be just like this only even better because the kids have missed each other.
Not Sweating The Small Stuff
I let the kids watch TV when it's raining. I let Etta coerce Abby into counting their button collections together. I let them stay in their PJ's all day if we don't have to go anywhere. I let them stay up late reading, or doing yoga, or drawing in their rooms. I bribed them to help me clean with the promise of a Lego blindbag (just the one time). No point in worrying. It's just two weeks. We've just gotta survive it without driving each other too crazy.
Normal Bedtime
My kids are cranky enough when they're out of a routine. So why would I change the one routine that doesn't need to change? While I allowed them read/draw/yoga longer in their rooms than usual, I still put them to bed at the usual time. For their well-being, but equally for mine. Mama needs some grown up time away from the kids. Especially after playing referee all day.
Making Them Clean...
So they're home more than usual and they're bored? Oh well, they can help me clean the house! The great thing is that at the moment, cleaning the toilet is still a novelty for them, so they actually argue over who gets to do it! They also care more about pocket money because there's more free time to actually go to a shop, so I cash in on that opportunity. Even if it's just a 'do three small jobs' tidy, it all makes a difference to the livability of our home, and that's even more important during rainy school holidays
Treating Myself With Kindness
It is hard not to beat yourself up over not using the school holidays as an opportunity to do something great. To connect with your kids, to take them away on an actual holiday, to do a bunch of educational activities. I mean, doing any or all of those things is the ideal, but not always the reality. My reality was having less time than usual to actually sleep. So school holidays is mega tiring. I had to focus on the fact that actually, the kids did get to do some pretty cool stuff and no-one had to go to A&E. So really, that's a pretty good outcome.
Snatching Those Minutes
I am a person who needs her space and time. And during the holidays that daytime time just doesn't exist any more. The kids are there. Every day. And when I'm not working, so am I. So I have to cash in on those small bits of time where no-one is there. On days where I was super tired I would beg a half hour of 'rest time' where I would set a timer for half an hour and read in my room and shut my eyes for a bit. Bliss. Sometimes. Some days the kids would be in every five minutes to tell me about something they'd just read, or made or injured... But some days I actually got a wee break to just be without someone talking at or needing something from me. I also left for work a little early some days so I could just sit quietly in the car for five minutes alone.
The kids with their portraits. So cool!
Utilising Free Activities
Being a suburban Mum is weird for me because I didn't grow up in the suburbs. As a country kid I'm pretty sure I hardly saw my parents during the daytime in the holidays*. I would have been either reading somewhere, climbing a tree, catching frogs and generally finding stuff to explore around the farm. And I can't quite let the kids run free around the neighbourhood here. There are cars, and predators and it's just not what small kids do these days.
But what we do have is a variety of free holiday things to do! The malls have activities on. Bunnings has activities on. The library has activities on. Honestly, we could probably do three or four free activities a week without going further than 10 minutes from our house. This holidays we learned how to make balloon swords and dogs and the kids had their portraits drawn by some pretty amazing Kiwi artists from the Quick Draw Sketch Gang. And not only was it great for the kids, but I discovered that not only do I like making balloon animals, but I'm actually pretty good at it.
Tricking The Kids Into Helping Out
Much along the same lines as the cleaning thing. I like having a garden, but I am a very slack gardener. I made visiting Bunnings and planting things a 'fun activity' so I could get it done without complaint from my clingy kids that I wasn't paying attention to them. I let them choose some $1 seeds each to plant and we've watched baby radishes, thyme and courgettes emerge as the holidays has progressed. We planted out Abby's sunflower from Kindy and put strawberries and lavender into bigger pots on my new planter. And it was fun! Even if the kids were mostly just keen on watering stuff, I got a little gardening done.
Being Grateful
The best thing about the holidays is that they end. And when they're done, you can finally have some time out for yourself. While I do find holidays hard**, it helps me to appreciate what our teachers do not just for our kids, but for us. Not only do they educate and care for our children, but they allow us time to do the other things we need to do. Whether it be going to work, cleaning the house, doing things to keep us physically fit, or doing things to help our mental health. While I know not everyone feels the struggle like I do, I hope that everyone is on the same page in being so grateful for what these wonderful people do for us. Whether they teach ECE***, Primary or Secondary, our teachers are an invaluable part of our lives.
And I am blessed in that our kids teachers are lovely ones. Because of this our kids were actually excited about returning to school and Kindy. And while for Etta this was more about seeing her friends and only a little about her teacher, for Abby it was ALL about her wonderful teachers.
And now they're out at school and Kindy, I might go have a nap.
* This was very well probably not the case at all.
** 2 weeks is liveable, the Christmas holiday period however... That's something else.
*** Here's a link to a petition for more equal pay for our ECE teachers if you are interested in signing and/or reading.
I've survived another two weeks of children at home.
Another two weeks of sister on sister violence.
Another two weeks of hearing 'I'm bored!' when I've already suggested four things to do.
Another two weeks of counting the hours until the end of the holidays
I have no good parenting tips on how to get through this. I am never going to win a Mother Of The Year award. My techniques aren't going to work for everyone. But I survived. And here is how I did it.
I cashed in on other parents wanting to spend time with their kids by taking on more hours at work. The thing is that someone's got to do it. Some people straight up can't afford childcare for the holidays. Some folk aren't so lucky to have family available to help out. And those people need the flexibility of being able to take time off for the holidays. I'm lucky to have an amazingly supportive mother and a partner who loves spending time with his kids. So while I was limited in how much I could take on (because Mum and Murray can't do it every day!) I did take on a few extra hours to give me a little bit of space.
Etta with her bestie at Chipmunks
While we didn't do as many of these as we'd planned, they really did help break up those two weeks. Etta got to spend a whole day with her bestie, while Abby got to spend that whole day alone with my Mum (one of her most favorite people) and I got to go to work. And when I got home from work they were actually nice to each other because they hadn't got under each others skin all day.
And when Etta's friend spent an afternoon here, it was just heavenly! Having that extra little person, even if she was technically 'Etta's' friend, broke up the usual dynamic so all the kids played together and I could actually do something enjoyable! I watched a (child appropriate) game show and knitted wash cloths for my hapu friend and actually got some writing done. I made up a plate of snacks that they could eat when they were hungry, and other than eating, they just played happily. Bliss!
We had planned an epic time at a local park with a bunch of school friends, but sadly this was thwarted by the weather. But I do think it would have been an awesome thing to do. Something I'll revisit in the Summer holidays. Often we'll stay at school to play on the playground with other families we know. This would be just like this only even better because the kids have missed each other.
Not Sweating The Small Stuff
I let the kids watch TV when it's raining. I let Etta coerce Abby into counting their button collections together. I let them stay in their PJ's all day if we don't have to go anywhere. I let them stay up late reading, or doing yoga, or drawing in their rooms. I bribed them to help me clean with the promise of a Lego blindbag (just the one time). No point in worrying. It's just two weeks. We've just gotta survive it without driving each other too crazy.
Normal Bedtime
My kids are cranky enough when they're out of a routine. So why would I change the one routine that doesn't need to change? While I allowed them read/draw/yoga longer in their rooms than usual, I still put them to bed at the usual time. For their well-being, but equally for mine. Mama needs some grown up time away from the kids. Especially after playing referee all day.
Making Them Clean...
So they're home more than usual and they're bored? Oh well, they can help me clean the house! The great thing is that at the moment, cleaning the toilet is still a novelty for them, so they actually argue over who gets to do it! They also care more about pocket money because there's more free time to actually go to a shop, so I cash in on that opportunity. Even if it's just a 'do three small jobs' tidy, it all makes a difference to the livability of our home, and that's even more important during rainy school holidays
Abby riding a pony at Crystal Mountain with my Mum
It is hard not to beat yourself up over not using the school holidays as an opportunity to do something great. To connect with your kids, to take them away on an actual holiday, to do a bunch of educational activities. I mean, doing any or all of those things is the ideal, but not always the reality. My reality was having less time than usual to actually sleep. So school holidays is mega tiring. I had to focus on the fact that actually, the kids did get to do some pretty cool stuff and no-one had to go to A&E. So really, that's a pretty good outcome.
Snatching Those Minutes
I am a person who needs her space and time. And during the holidays that daytime time just doesn't exist any more. The kids are there. Every day. And when I'm not working, so am I. So I have to cash in on those small bits of time where no-one is there. On days where I was super tired I would beg a half hour of 'rest time' where I would set a timer for half an hour and read in my room and shut my eyes for a bit. Bliss. Sometimes. Some days the kids would be in every five minutes to tell me about something they'd just read, or made or injured... But some days I actually got a wee break to just be without someone talking at or needing something from me. I also left for work a little early some days so I could just sit quietly in the car for five minutes alone.
The kids with their portraits. So cool!
Being a suburban Mum is weird for me because I didn't grow up in the suburbs. As a country kid I'm pretty sure I hardly saw my parents during the daytime in the holidays*. I would have been either reading somewhere, climbing a tree, catching frogs and generally finding stuff to explore around the farm. And I can't quite let the kids run free around the neighbourhood here. There are cars, and predators and it's just not what small kids do these days.
But what we do have is a variety of free holiday things to do! The malls have activities on. Bunnings has activities on. The library has activities on. Honestly, we could probably do three or four free activities a week without going further than 10 minutes from our house. This holidays we learned how to make balloon swords and dogs and the kids had their portraits drawn by some pretty amazing Kiwi artists from the Quick Draw Sketch Gang. And not only was it great for the kids, but I discovered that not only do I like making balloon animals, but I'm actually pretty good at it.
Our growing seeds: thyme, radish, squash
Tricking The Kids Into Helping OutMuch along the same lines as the cleaning thing. I like having a garden, but I am a very slack gardener. I made visiting Bunnings and planting things a 'fun activity' so I could get it done without complaint from my clingy kids that I wasn't paying attention to them. I let them choose some $1 seeds each to plant and we've watched baby radishes, thyme and courgettes emerge as the holidays has progressed. We planted out Abby's sunflower from Kindy and put strawberries and lavender into bigger pots on my new planter. And it was fun! Even if the kids were mostly just keen on watering stuff, I got a little gardening done.
Being Grateful
The best thing about the holidays is that they end. And when they're done, you can finally have some time out for yourself. While I do find holidays hard**, it helps me to appreciate what our teachers do not just for our kids, but for us. Not only do they educate and care for our children, but they allow us time to do the other things we need to do. Whether it be going to work, cleaning the house, doing things to keep us physically fit, or doing things to help our mental health. While I know not everyone feels the struggle like I do, I hope that everyone is on the same page in being so grateful for what these wonderful people do for us. Whether they teach ECE***, Primary or Secondary, our teachers are an invaluable part of our lives.
And I am blessed in that our kids teachers are lovely ones. Because of this our kids were actually excited about returning to school and Kindy. And while for Etta this was more about seeing her friends and only a little about her teacher, for Abby it was ALL about her wonderful teachers.
And now they're out at school and Kindy, I might go have a nap.
* This was very well probably not the case at all.
** 2 weeks is liveable, the Christmas holiday period however... That's something else.
*** Here's a link to a petition for more equal pay for our ECE teachers if you are interested in signing and/or reading.
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