At the moment I'm just feeling blergh..
I haven't written for a while because I've been working extra hours which has sapped me of brain power. This combined with Abby going through a phase of not sleeping so good has turned me into a zombie and on top of that there's something else:
Winter.
I have been feeling so blergh I went to the dr and had bloods run as felt like my thyroid or iron or B12s or something must be crazy. I was sure it had to be one of those things - most likely iron. But I got my results back and apparently I'm medically fine.
Which is wonderful. So I should feel really happy. But because I still feel like crap I kinda feel a bit stuck, and so to stop wondering I will postulate a theory:
It's just Winter.
I actually love Winter. It's not too hot. I get to wear warm, big clothes and gloves and hats and scarves and my eclectic collection of coats. I can live in PJs and bedsocks. I get to make and eat soups and stews. I have an excuse to go to bed early with a book. I catch up on more bad TV and knitting. I was born in Winter - hell, it's my season! It's a genuine excuse for being a hermit. And I love being a hermit.
And when it starts to get cold I go into hibernation mode. I want to eat high carb high fat foods. I want to stay home. I want to sleep as much as possible.
On one hand I think I should go with what my body is saying.
On the other hand, I think if I completely hide indoors this will contribute to the blergh.
So I'm going to self-prescribe the following to combat these Winter blues:
1) More Vitamin C and Iron
No brainer really. Change of season means more bugs which means more need for Vitamin C to help maintain healthy immunity. Also, vitamin C helps process iron and more iron will give me more energy to survive the Winter (and more energy might help my body crave less carbs...). The fact is, everyone needs varying amounts of iron depending on what their body is used to. My usual iron levels are very high, so I am used to functioning on high iron levels. When they drop - even if it's not into the unhealthy level - I notice it and feel crappy. So while someone elses level may be lower than mine and they feel peachy (because it's normal for them) I don't. So boosting this will only help here.
2) More Sunshine (daily where possible)
Vitamin D is super important for helping us absorb calcium (which is probably why my skin is crappier in Winter), but it also helps combat depression. And this isn't a bad thing. Because while I like being by myself, isolating can sometimes cause my depression to flare up*.
The great thing about my birds project is that it forces me to go outside and engage with nature every day. This alone gets me a little daily vitamin D. And having a garden is also good. Whilst I don't spend much time out there, it means a little time getting dirty in the sunshine. And the kids love it. So it's also nice, quality time spent with them.
3) Exercise...
This is hard for me... because I feel blergh I don't feel much like exercising, and because it's cold I'm out and about walking less (although still walking at least three times a week).
I started going to Zumba with a friend and discovered I absolutely love Zumba. The class we go to is local, fun and attended by folk of every age group so it's not competitive feeling. But I struggle to go at the moment because it's at night time and it's Winter (and I'm in hibernation mode...)
So I need to exercise at home. I think the best way for me to do this is probably more dancing with the kids time. It's small - but will help release endorphines nonetheless, so still useful. And it's fun! The kids current favorite song to dance to is Shake It Off (and this Princess video version is awesome - we intersperse it with watching Tay-tay's original video).
4) Working On A Project
I think having a project is important because it helps me feel less down about being in 'hibernation mode'. Society is so 'doing stuff' focused it's nigh on impossible for me to not feel guilty when I'm doing naught outside of the daily grind. The project doesn't have to be big - I don't want to add more stress to my life, but I need to feel like I've 'achieved' something.
At the moment my project is to finish projects pitched to me by my whanau - there are three currently on the table. And to finish the craft projects I've started for friends (there are also two of these). This alone should take me until the end of Winter. And if I get it all done, I will also feel a little weight lifted as those things on my (seemingly unending) to-do list can finally be marked off.
5) Going To The Library
So I want to spend more time in bed with books - what's wrong with that? It's the perfect excuse to learn about whatever random thing you want - and this is the best time of year to do it! I mostly like reading non-fiction (because I'm a hyper-critical fiction reader), so every book I read is a window into learning about some new thing.
I've just finished reading the most amazing book I've ever read on anxiety called First we make the beast beautiful by Sarah Wilson. It is so amazing I'm going to buy it. To loan to all my close whanau and friends. Because it's so amazing the library waiting list for it is epic! And I'm going to recommend it to all my anxious friends and whanau. And all their partners. And all their parents. Truly - it's worth reading and easy to read. And now I'm reading a book about depression by Jimi Hunt - which is a little less amazing then the book mentioned above ^ but is still interesting.
The library is also a great place to find cookbooks. And given my hibernation is about eating and sleeping - new recipes are important to keep things exciting!
6) Being Kind To Myself
Whilst over time I have gotten much better at this, it is still something I need to be vigilant about as I have a tendency to people please and take on too much. Over Winter being kind to myself may entail taking on less extra shifts at work, making sure I eat more healthy foods, weekly baths and going to bed early.
It will also mean not beating myself up if I'm not up to social engagement due to my natural inclination to hibernate. I simultaneously love seeing people and feeling wanted when I'm invited to things, and am terrified of having to do the thing. In Winter, external elements make this battle even trickier. Instead of being mad at failing at this battle (time and time again) I will try and be more realistic about how social I am capable of being at this time of year.
And I need to celebrate more the social engagement I do have. I work in an extremely social job where I interact with people all day (and I love it). I see my in laws and my Mum at least once a week. I usually play games with other folk at least once a fortnight (if not weekly), and have playdates with one neighbour at least once a week, and catch ups with the other about the same. And I have Murray and the kidlets and my big extended whanau - which actually adds up to a lot of social engagement.
* I'm pretty sure I don't have S.A.D (Seasonal Affective Disorder) - but it's a total possibility. However, I'm pretty sure doing everything above would help manage it fairly effectively anyhow. And if not, I'll get a light box or something.
I haven't written for a while because I've been working extra hours which has sapped me of brain power. This combined with Abby going through a phase of not sleeping so good has turned me into a zombie and on top of that there's something else:
Winter.
I have been feeling so blergh I went to the dr and had bloods run as felt like my thyroid or iron or B12s or something must be crazy. I was sure it had to be one of those things - most likely iron. But I got my results back and apparently I'm medically fine.
Which is wonderful. So I should feel really happy. But because I still feel like crap I kinda feel a bit stuck, and so to stop wondering I will postulate a theory:
It's just Winter.
Super stoked to be watching more GOT this Winter...
And when it starts to get cold I go into hibernation mode. I want to eat high carb high fat foods. I want to stay home. I want to sleep as much as possible.
On one hand I think I should go with what my body is saying.
On the other hand, I think if I completely hide indoors this will contribute to the blergh.
So I'm going to self-prescribe the following to combat these Winter blues:
1) More Vitamin C and Iron
No brainer really. Change of season means more bugs which means more need for Vitamin C to help maintain healthy immunity. Also, vitamin C helps process iron and more iron will give me more energy to survive the Winter (and more energy might help my body crave less carbs...). The fact is, everyone needs varying amounts of iron depending on what their body is used to. My usual iron levels are very high, so I am used to functioning on high iron levels. When they drop - even if it's not into the unhealthy level - I notice it and feel crappy. So while someone elses level may be lower than mine and they feel peachy (because it's normal for them) I don't. So boosting this will only help here.
Photographing birds helps force me outdoors in Winter
Vitamin D is super important for helping us absorb calcium (which is probably why my skin is crappier in Winter), but it also helps combat depression. And this isn't a bad thing. Because while I like being by myself, isolating can sometimes cause my depression to flare up*.
The great thing about my birds project is that it forces me to go outside and engage with nature every day. This alone gets me a little daily vitamin D. And having a garden is also good. Whilst I don't spend much time out there, it means a little time getting dirty in the sunshine. And the kids love it. So it's also nice, quality time spent with them.
3) Exercise...
This is hard for me... because I feel blergh I don't feel much like exercising, and because it's cold I'm out and about walking less (although still walking at least three times a week).
I started going to Zumba with a friend and discovered I absolutely love Zumba. The class we go to is local, fun and attended by folk of every age group so it's not competitive feeling. But I struggle to go at the moment because it's at night time and it's Winter (and I'm in hibernation mode...)
So I need to exercise at home. I think the best way for me to do this is probably more dancing with the kids time. It's small - but will help release endorphines nonetheless, so still useful. And it's fun! The kids current favorite song to dance to is Shake It Off (and this Princess video version is awesome - we intersperse it with watching Tay-tay's original video).
4) Working On A Project
I think having a project is important because it helps me feel less down about being in 'hibernation mode'. Society is so 'doing stuff' focused it's nigh on impossible for me to not feel guilty when I'm doing naught outside of the daily grind. The project doesn't have to be big - I don't want to add more stress to my life, but I need to feel like I've 'achieved' something.
At the moment my project is to finish projects pitched to me by my whanau - there are three currently on the table. And to finish the craft projects I've started for friends (there are also two of these). This alone should take me until the end of Winter. And if I get it all done, I will also feel a little weight lifted as those things on my (seemingly unending) to-do list can finally be marked off.
5) Going To The Library
I've just finished reading the most amazing book I've ever read on anxiety called First we make the beast beautiful by Sarah Wilson. It is so amazing I'm going to buy it. To loan to all my close whanau and friends. Because it's so amazing the library waiting list for it is epic! And I'm going to recommend it to all my anxious friends and whanau. And all their partners. And all their parents. Truly - it's worth reading and easy to read. And now I'm reading a book about depression by Jimi Hunt - which is a little less amazing then the book mentioned above ^ but is still interesting.
The library is also a great place to find cookbooks. And given my hibernation is about eating and sleeping - new recipes are important to keep things exciting!
6) Being Kind To Myself
Whilst over time I have gotten much better at this, it is still something I need to be vigilant about as I have a tendency to people please and take on too much. Over Winter being kind to myself may entail taking on less extra shifts at work, making sure I eat more healthy foods, weekly baths and going to bed early.
It will also mean not beating myself up if I'm not up to social engagement due to my natural inclination to hibernate. I simultaneously love seeing people and feeling wanted when I'm invited to things, and am terrified of having to do the thing. In Winter, external elements make this battle even trickier. Instead of being mad at failing at this battle (time and time again) I will try and be more realistic about how social I am capable of being at this time of year.
And I need to celebrate more the social engagement I do have. I work in an extremely social job where I interact with people all day (and I love it). I see my in laws and my Mum at least once a week. I usually play games with other folk at least once a fortnight (if not weekly), and have playdates with one neighbour at least once a week, and catch ups with the other about the same. And I have Murray and the kidlets and my big extended whanau - which actually adds up to a lot of social engagement.
This is still social engagement
So I'll try and check back in in a few weeks time and let you know how this prescription is working out (hopefully better than the weight loss thing... damn hibernation mode...) It can't do any harm, and it's a good excuse to post some knitting photos anyhow.
Happy Winter Solstice everyone! I'm off to plant my garlic now.
Happy Winter Solstice everyone! I'm off to plant my garlic now.
* I'm pretty sure I don't have S.A.D (Seasonal Affective Disorder) - but it's a total possibility. However, I'm pretty sure doing everything above would help manage it fairly effectively anyhow. And if not, I'll get a light box or something.
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