On my movie man crushes

So I've found myself (I think) with some time to do this (possibly, child playing quietly in other room - could be fine, could be destroying everything) but have not really enough brain to write anything intelligible.

So thought I'd write about my ten movie man crushes.

This is only because I was having a conversation with my favourite customer couple about films and we ended up randomly discussing Buffy Buff Buff* and why he wasn't my type.  And I said Jonah Hill was great, cos he's hilarious and we were talking about the Jump Street movies and the man wouldn't believe me cos all ladies like dudes like Matthew McCoughenanny.  But I don't.  So then I got to thinking about who I did like.

It was hard.  Because I really like and admire a lot of actors, but have had to really think about whether I've ever kind of crushed on them, and whether I still do (So long Carey Elwes and Harrison Ford). 

How I define crush is someone you have (or can see yourself having) romantic fantasies about.  You have to understand this is not a 'bang' list like on that episode of Friends.  A crush is a romantic fantasy.  Therefore doing anything about it is crazy cos it will completely ruin the fantasy.  A fantasy lover and a real lover are very different and reality probably can never live up to the fantasy so it's best to keep it that way.  Plus I'm all monogamous and far too lazy for such shenanigans. 

So here's the list I've ummed and ahhed over for the last few days.  Judge me how you will.

#6 Patrick Fugit
I first fell for this guy when I saw him in Almost Famous.  I mean, how could you not?  He was a nerd thrown into the world of cool kids and managed to float.  Initially because of the novelty, but he held his own in the end.  Now he wouldn't be on this list if it were just that one movie in my formative years.  I fell in love with him again in Wristcutters: A Love Story.  Again, someone out of place trying his best to follow love.  But this seems to work for Fugit.  I don't know why I like him so much.  He isn't exactly a hero or even an anti-hero.  He's a quiet guy.  But there's just something about him (maybe those squishy cheeks and chin dimple) that endears him to me.  I had actually taken him off my list, but was too sad about it hence why this list consists randomly of six.

In Wristcutters.  If you are yet to see this film I recommend you do.  Stat!

#5 Evan Peters
So yep.  This guy is seven years younger than me.  And I'm not usually the Pedo-Cougar type, but Evan Peters is a special case.  Probably a bit messed up that the first time I took any real interest in him he was playing a 14 year old dead guy murderer but hey, I'm being honest here.  His character in American Horror Story was fantastic.  And in his time, he would have been a completely age appropriate crush, a bit older than me even.  Maybe that's where it comes from - he's like a dark alt kid of the 90's teen crush.  And then I saw him in the second season.  Man that dude can act!  This character was (somehow) less crush worthy (though much more admirable), but the dearth of his acting skills made me respect him even more.  Which made having an actual crush viable (I can't crush on dumb dudes).  Recently, I saw him in Adult World where he again was humorous and a bit quiet, but undeniably magnetic and meant for a world of screen.  Also: Kickass.  That is all.

As Kit Walker in AHS Season 2.  Best TV Series EVER

#4 Zachary Quinto                                                                                                       He's just so dark and broody

When I first saw this guy as Sylar in Heroes I wasn't overwhelmed by him - until he got super evil that was!  He has weird hot bad guy sexy written all over him like David Bowie in the Labyrinth (childhood crush).  Somehow for me he even managed to make Spock slightly sexy in the new Star Trek films whilst still being a very convincing Spock.  That's no mean feat. 

And he too features in American Horror Story which means he MUST be awesome.  He's just so dark and brooding.  And again he gets to be super intelligent and, simultaneously, super messed up evil guy.  He is the bad guy that make you question bad dreams.  Kinda like a hotter, younger Italian evil version of Javier Bardem.  And he's a fantastic bad guy.  Did I mention how good he is as a bad guy?  You gotta love a good bad guy.

#3 Alan Rickman
Which is a perfect lead into #3.  This is one of those weird childhood crushes that has lingered.  Ever since I first saw Robin Hood Prince of Thieves I have been hooked on this man.  And trust me, I watched that movie a LOT.  Yeah, other people are cool and there's a very hot Christian Slater in it, and some people  like Costner (I don't get it) but that bad ol' Sheriff of Nottingham is what really got me.  When I thought about this list I took into account whether I could imagine myself actually feeling sexy with this person - this is why Bill Murray is not on the list.  I LOVE Bill Murray.  But the idea of sex with Bill Murray is just hilarious to me.  Not at all hot.  Just awkward and weird and funny.  But Alan Rickman is a whole different story.  And it doesn't matter that he's old.  He's still got that same Rickman charm, and it hasn't been destroyed by bad shirtless scenes like Harrison Ford's was in Six Days Seven Nights.  Alan Rickman is still that funny charmer I first fell in love with in Robin Hood.  And he was a fantastic bad guy in Die Hard, and the Harry Potter series.  And he's a great actor even when he's not being all that bad.  Like in Love Actually, Perfume, Nobel Son, Bottle Shock and Sweeny Todd.  He's just brilliant.

Oh Sheriff Rottingham!  How I love your tashe

#2 Stephen Fry
It took me a while to decide whether to include Steven Fry.  Because of the Bill Murray thing.  But my imagination realised that Steven Fry is definitely a naughty boy (I've read his biographies) and could be included in my list.  I arrived at Fry later than many (I only have vague memories of Blackadder).  It wasn't until I started watching QI with my ex that I discovered his genius and just wanted to exist in the shadow of his greatness - even in the glow of the TV projecting his QI omnipotence.  He's got the Professor-I-Want-To-Impress thing going for him.  He's a dirty mouthed toff.  He is a published novelist.  He went to a boys school.  He's a fantastic gay man.  What's not to like?  What's not super sexy about that?  And I've enjoyed him in bit parts in movies most notably Spiceworld, St Trinians and as the narrator from The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.

How can you not love that quirky grin?

#1 John Cusack

This crush dates to High Fidelity and I have never questioned it, or it's place on the list.  Yes he is a tall, awkward, gawky man.  But there's just something special about John Cusack.  I've still never seen Say Anything so I never got the weird teen crush thing.** I got the very-early-20's-you-are-blowing-my-mind-with-your-honesty-and-bleakness-and-lists crush that came with meeting John Cusack's Rob - even though he was a bit of a douchebag.  He was a 'real' douchebag.  He was honest and brilliant and real.  It wasn't long before this I'd seen Being John Malkovich, and while I didn't fall in love with him in this film (or anyone else for that matter) I appreciated what he did.  And I appreciated him being in that film.  It was brilliant.  I saw it in my first year at Uni and it excited my brain.  And War Inc - another brilliant film including Mr Cusack.  If you haven't seen it yet you must remedy that soon.  And most recently, Adult World, in which he plays Rat Billings a once famous poet who now compiles crap poetry anthologies and is idolised by an early 20's just-post-uni lost nerd girl (which also features crush #5 Evan Peters).  I can remember being that girl.  And I did crush on him (Cusack, not Billings) then as I do now.  I mean, he's what inspired this list.

Number 1 Mr Cusack.  What a dreamboat!

* otherwise known as Channing Tatum
** Besides which I still don't understand our generations crush on teen movie things from the 80's.  The oldest I was in the 80's was 9.  If you are 3+ years older than me than maybe, but I never saw Pretty in Pink, The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles or Fast Times until I was in my 20's.  Weird Science and films of that ilk don't really count.  They're almost kids movies.  I was a kid.  I watched Weird Science.