A quick catch up

Me with sprog just before work (Video Ezy shirt under jersey)

Hi blog!  I missed you

There are important things I want to write about, but I just don't have the brain at the moment.  So I thought I'd just write a catch up on life blog to lubricate that brain muscle for better things to come in the near future.

So why haven't I been blogging?  Well, besides the usual laziness there are a couple of legitimate reasons.  Firstly, I've been sleeping.  Basically every time Etta naps, I try and nap to catch up on all the not sleeping I've done over night.  Before going back onto antianxiety meds this wasn't possible, but now it is, it's really hard not to take those opportunities to rest for a while.

Because being a Mum is tiring.  And being on drugs that help make me not crazy is tired making.  And not being anxious means I'm not going to freak out about every little thing around the house not being done, so not only can I sleep, but I don't beat myself up about not using my time more wisely.  Cos sleeping is wise.  And being not anxious gives me clarity to be logical about it.
The second reason is that I've gone back to part time work.

Why have I gone back?  To be honest, it's mostly because the opportunity presented itself.  Because Auckland is a small, serendipitous world, we live a few houses down from my old boss.  Consequently, I've run into him a few times in the hood so he's aware that I'm sprogged up.  And when some stuff came up at work, he thought I might like it.  At the time he offered I wasn't quite ready to go back.  But awesomely, he basically said there would be a part time job for me whenever I was ready.  Hence my return to the exciting world of Video Ezy Pt Chevalier.

And it's PERFECT!  I loved that job.  It's simple.  It's minimal responsibility, maximum fun and requires little brain.  I also love that boss.*  He's pretty much my age and a choice guy, so working for him is no stress.  Which is good.  Cos I have no room for stress.
So I work on Sunday's and Murray minds Etta, which has been brilliant for other reasons.  The selfish reason is that it's enabled Murray to understand what it is to have to look after Etta for a whole day, and how tiring it can be.  The less selfish reason is that it helps me understand how much Murray must miss her while he's at work, and the huge sacrifice he makes for our family every day going to work.  So I think it's strengthened our respect for one another, and helped make our family unit a bit closer.
It's also helped Etta be a little more self reliant.  I often pick up extra shifts and she's minded by the sitting team of my Mum, Murray's Mum and (of course) Murray.  And (of course) bonus money has helped relieve a little financial pressure.  It's not much, but it means we can put a bit more into savings, and have a little more beer and skittles, and a little less worry about the future.
And I feel like I have more independence.  Simple things like catching the bus without a pram have initially felt really odd, but over time have helped me feel like a separate entity again.  I talk to humans outside of the home.  It's great!
And, of course, there's the free movies.  I don't have time to watch them with all the sleep I need to do, but it'll happen eventually.

In fact, it's starting to happen now.  Because Etta has started to (sometimes) sleep through the night.  Last week I managed about five nights where I got five or more hours of consecutive sleep.  That's a serious miracle.  I do think her newfound self reliance has a big role to play in this sleep magic and for this I am also thankful to be back at work.
So now I will start training myself not to sleep during her naps.  And once I've got that down, who knows what I'll achieve?  I'm hoping it means I can blog more often.  Hell, maybe I'll even do something amazing, like bake a lasagne.  Or watch a movie.

* not in a sexy way.  Nicole and Murray, you have nothing to worry about.