To be honest, this is actually Round 6 - but it's only the 2nd round which will (hopefully) result in a child and that has ventured into the 2nd trimester.*
I wanted to write about this mostly because I need to let people know that in some ways it's not as bad the second time around. For me, this is mostly to do with knowing what to expect rather than being asymptomatic. I'm also more hard skinned, so when people make weird/rude comments (which has JUST started happening cos I've just started dressing so you can see that I'm pregnant cos it's getting hard not too) I don't dissolve into a pool of tears or anarchic rage.
This is also in big part because this time around I am medicated. Because it's not super safe to start (or finish) anxiety meds during pregnancy I have remained on the ones that I went back onto a while ago. The meds I'm on are the ones considered most pregnancy safe anyway so it's fairly safe as houses. These definitely have helped mitigate the massive highs and lows you get via the hormones in pregnancy and, as a whole have ensured this whole unplanned pregnancy thing hasn't sent me off the rails.
Yes, I have had worse morning sickness this time (proper random spewing until about 14 weeks) and I have rosacia, blood noses, bleeding gums, gross discharge in the lady parts and the worst one of all - hip displaysia - but I was expecting these things so it's way less freaky this time. Particularly regarding the hip displaysia stuff - because I pretty much knew it was coming I have been able to do the things I learned last time around to help mitigate it. Regular swimming, water walking, specific exercises from physio and general awareness of what makes it worse means I think (hopefully) I'll cope with it better this time around.
And because I already have a little midget to run around at home, it's difficult to actually have the same focus on myself that I had last time - I have no time. I'm lucky if I can get a shower most days (ahhhh, shower) let alone take time to wonder about how fat I am and how that compares with so-and-so etc etc. Having been in an almost continuous state of exhaustion means the exhaustion from being pregnant is just absorbed into the regular exhaustion, so I don't feel it as severely as last time.
And because I already have a small person that is still alive 18 months on, I have more faith than last time that I can do this baby thing ok. I know how to change nappies now, how to breastfeed and how to dress small people. Last time I was totally inexperienced in these areas. My only hope is that I can breastfeed this one also, as I have never bottle fed before and have no idea how to do it. I also hope Etta weans soon so I have enough strength/iron/energy to do this.
AND because I just did this a little while ago, we don't have to go to those awful antenatal classes that I-do-think-are-a-good-idea-the-first-time-round-but-totally-unnecessary-for-subsequent-rounds. I knew we would have problems when at the first class she said 'Women have been doing this since back when dinosaurs walked the earth.'
Really?
How in the hell are you qualified to teach anyone anything?
So glad I never have to see that woman again.
Still, I learned about lip ties and what Vitamin K does, and delayed cord clamping and what a lotus birth is, and that was (mostly) very useful. Unfortunately though, because of how they make you go to these things closeish to when you're due, I missed a third of the classes (the labour videos and the practical baby stuff - you know, the most important stuff) because I was in hospital, or early labour, which made me feel the system is a little impractical.
Rant over.
And also being (mostly) a stay at home Mum I can do something I couldn't do the last time around - nap. Of course, these are offset a little by having to get up in the night to settle Etta, but this is becoming less and less of a thing these days as she has started fairly regularly (touch wood) sleeping through. I am only blogging and not napping right now cos I have a bonus child asleep in my room - there is generally more sleeping and less blogging happening in these parts at the moment.
My only major concerns at this stage are being physically capable of looking after Etta when I get bigger and (possibly) less mobile. She still isn't walking. And while she has taken a couple of steps by herself I am under no illusion that this means she will suddenly be mobile enough that I don't have to carry her any more. It is times like this I feel maybe I should have spent more time working on learning how to use the force, and maybe less time looking at cats on the internet.
We also have nowhere to properly house baby-to-be, which is why it has been nicknamed 'Harry' by my family - as in, it will sleep in the cupboard under the stairs. We don't have one of those, but we do have a storage shed, which will be just as roomy. But I figure it'll be in our room for the first five or six months, and I can work the rest out after that. Sometimes (often) problems resolve themselves. Maybe Etta will become an awesome sleeper and can share a room. Maybe I'll win $10,000 on a scratchie and we can renovate our bathroom to make another office, and turn our existing office into another room. Maybe we'll become a traveling family band and live in a caravan. Only time will tell.
In saying all this, it doesn't mean I am placated enough that we will make it three. We will be taking some serious precautions to ensure that two is the max as soon as is reasonably possible. Truly. The other awesome thing about this surprise pregnancy is that now I never, ever have to think about doing it again.
* Two terminations, two ectopics, no regrets. I am ridiculously fertile (just ask Fertility Associates).
