On the scan results and the scan aftermath

So, if you’ve been following my blog you’ll know I had an ectopic pregnancy earlier this year. And you’ll know I had to have my tube removed, and that my remaining tube was damaged from a previous ectopic. Last Monday we had the scan to see if we could still conceive with the existing tube. And I’m pleased to tell you that we got good results at our scan on Monday. So we can try again by ourselves! But we had a little bit of a drama with the scan itself…

The scan I had is called a hysterosalpingogram.

It shows whether there are any blockages or abnormalities in your uterus and fallopian tubes by putting a dye through via a cap suctioned on to your cervix. It’s a fairly non-invasive, low risk procedure and the only complex thing about it is that you have to have it during a certain phase of your menstrual cycle. In Auckland this scan is only performed on Mondays as it requires specialised radiologists.

The scan itself wouldn’t normally be too bad. Attaching the cup to the cervix is a little painful, and you have cramping during the procedure which is uncomfortable, but is similar to bad period cramps, so nothing to write home about because it is usually a 5 – 15 minute procedure. The problem was that during the scan the special machines computer crashed. They spent about 20 minutes trying to get it going, but to no avail. This was not the teams fault – there was no way they could have predicted this, and there was no way anyone would expect them to know how to fix such specialised equipment. They tried the ‘turn it off and on again’ technique – all they could do really. So I had instruments and dye up my lady parts for about 40 minutes.

They found an alternative way to do the scan via good old fashioned x-ray, and moved me to a room where one was free to complete the scan. I felt very sorry for the medical team involved as the computer breaking down would affect their entire day’s worth of scans. No-one would have a machine break on them half-way through their procedure though, that pleasure would remain mine alone. They were lucky I am a nice non-hypochondriac type person.

So they finish the scan then we hear the great results and are pleased. As soon as the suction cup is off my cervix I’m pretty much pain free and we’re very happy. Murray and I both took the whole day off work being unsure of the results and our reaction to them. We went home and had lunch, then Murray rented me a crappy chick flick.

About an hour into the film I started feeling very sore. I got up to go to the bathroom and noticed my stomach had started to swell, and I was in so much pain it was difficult to walk. I didn’t think that was normal as the procedure isn’t supposed to have any serious after affects. After another hour I asked Murray to call Greenlane to ask them about it as it wasn’t any better. They said it could be in the realm of normal, but to go to A&E if it was still bad around 6.30pm as that was outside the realm of normal.

So we did. It cost us $87 for a prescription of Tramadol for pain. The Tramadol helped with the pain, but offered no real support in terms of understanding why this was happening. I didn’t sleep that night, and woke up with nausea and vomiting. I managed to get in touch with someone from Greenlane the next day who confirmed what we had suspected – it was a reaction to the dye from the scan. This was a relief for me because Google Doc had provided an array of other more horrible yet unlikely scenarios. A dye reaction as severe as mine is uncommon. Only one other woman who has had this scan through Greenlane has had one. Because it is not something commonly dealt with, no answers could be offered on how long the reaction would last for

I was off work for four days. I had three days of chronic pain and three days of vomiting. It was unfortunate, but in all honesty, the hospital did nothing wrong, it’s just one of those freak things. I am quite grateful I found out that this dye is not my friend. It is used for a range of medical procedures, including angiograms – which may be on the cards for me if I follow in Dad’s footsteps. I have it noted in my medical files now. There are alternatives they can use, and when there aren’t, they can give me steroids to help lessen the reaction.

So that is the epic tale of the scan. This reaction made it difficult to really digest the happiness of its outcome, but we are really, really happy. We have made decisions around when we will start trying to get pregnant again, but we are realistic that the scan is not an accurate magic 8 ball. Even with a clear scan, the likelihood of a third ectopic is high. BUT we’ll never know unless we try. We are very grateful that at this stage we are not looking down the long waitlist of public health IVF. This is fantastic news for us and we look forward to (hopefully) starting our family soon.

* FYI that is not my uterus full of dye up there - it's someone elses, I don't know who it belongs to. I found it on the internet. I hope they are not offended.

On Week Three of the Hannah Made Diet

This week I almost lost a whole kilo.

BUT I was extremely ill for the first half of the week, so I think that added to the weight loss a little. I had an allergic reaction to the dye from the scan I had on Monday which caused me to have extremely bad pelvic pain, swelling, itchiness and vomiting. I was off work until Friday, and spent most of the week in a crying, painful, messy stupor.

On Monday I hadn't started puking but I felt like balls so we got takeaways for dinner. That’s right. Bad old fish and chips. First chips I’ve eaten all diet. I still did my food math, and still accounted for them, but I tell you, illness makes dieting seem unfair and you really resent the diet. If it was an animal, and you didn't want to throw up and had more than an ounce of strength, you'd probably kill it and eat it alive.

Because how do you account for vomiting in a kilojoule counting diet? Obviously this will result in some negative kilojoules as some things are coming out before they are properly in, but how much? I decided not to take it into account at all and attempt to stick to my diet as best I could. On Tuesday and Wednesday I was so ill during the daytime I couldn’t keep down even water - in retrospect, I possibly should have gone to hospital, or at least got some anti-emetics. It’s amazing how your brain stops working when it has no fuel to run it…

So due to lack of brain, even though I accounted for everything, this week’s spreadsheet definitely is not reflective of a healthy diet. There are big gaps of nothing from where the idea of eating made me want to hurl. There are patches where I felt I could eat ok, so wanted to eat everything in the house. There are sweet high energy drinks that I wouldn’t normally have in an attempt to get my food intake above the starvation zone. There are days where my intake is below the starvation zone. Basically, the start of this week was a food disaster.

On Thursday I thought I might be well enough to go to work. Then I threw up my herbal tea. Then I went to sleep. I slept most of Thursday, and in the patches where I drowsily emerged I ate small things. By Thursday night, I felt much better, and apart from the glitch in the morning, my food intake returned to the close-to-normal zone.

I noticed that I really do need to work a little harder to ensure not only my diet is within caloric requirements, but also that I’m not just ‘saving’ kilojoule space for things like wine and Chupa Chups and little Easter eggs. I think this would be totally fine if I were not foregoing my 5+ a day to do so, but sometimes it’s a bit like ‘well, you could have a banana OR you could have a little Easter egg…’ It’s especially important with being gluten free because it’s easy to miss out on fibre and vitamins – Us GFers are supposed to eat 7+ a day. So this is what I’ll be working on in the future. I’ll put a new column thingee in my anal Excel food math spreadsheet. This will help. I like my homework to be pristine.

I also watched a lot of daytime TV during my time of illness. TV told me to take the Symbio challenge. My addled brain thought ‘Hey, why not?’, so I’m doing that. Given that I have IBS anything that might help my digestive system to do its job properly is worth trying. Plus, it’s one less snack to have to plan out to take to work in the morning, so that’s great. I’ll let you know if I think it does anything. So far, all I’ve noticed is that it is one of the few yoghurts that are gluten free, so that’s a bonus.

And just a quick PSA outro for this blog – throwing up food will make you lose weight. But it is not healthy. It will destroy your stomach, rot your teeth, give you bad skin and hair and stop your brain from functioning. You will smell like vomit no matter how many mints you chew. Don’t do it on purpose! Lose weight through diet and exercise. It does work. See! I am showing you how it works. Be sensible.

Monday 26th March current weight: 60.6 kilos
Ultimate goal weight: 56.0 kilos
Weight loss so far: 2.0 kilos

Weight to go: 4.6 kilos

On Week two of the Hannah Made Diet

I meant to do this on Monday, but on Monday I also had a very important scan, and then had a very unusual reaction to said scan. I’m still recovering! But I will write about the scan, and what the results mean for us later on. So back to what happened in diet land last week for me.

Well… despite saying I was happy with losing the 400 grams, I wasn’t really that happy. In my head I’d really wanted to lose a little closer to the one kilo mark so did make a few adjustments before going into week 2. I’m pretty sure they were healthy ones. I consulted with the Google Doc (apparently not a very reliable physician). There were varying ideas around food consumption, and I'd started off going for the high-middle end of it, so I decided to drop my max consumption down by 500kj – that’s just 7% less than what it was for last week. Taking that down must have made a difference, because in week two I lost 700 grams, which was pretty much bang on what I’d been hoping to lose in a week.

This week I planned in a lot more stay-at-home time, which made meal planning a heck of a lot easier. Also, Murray cooked one of the meals on a night where I didn’t get home until 7ish, and that was great. All I had to tell him was how much oil he could use as a maximum, and he made a tasty, nutritious stir-fry for me that was well within the amount I was allowed to eat. I found that even just having one week of habit forming things, like eating a proper breakfast, made doing that seem more natural, and less like being on a diet.

I learnt a couple of great things this week. As I’m still nervous about how many kilojoules are in foods I do tend to under-eat when choosing foods to eat when out. This week I was out, and hungry, so opted for sushi. But I knew that rice packs a reasonable kilojoule punch, so ordered the lowest KJ kind (vege without avocado) and had five of them, instead of seven or eight. I couldn’t check properly what was in it until I got home, and then realised it was a lot less than what I thought! So this week I’m going to do some more research around the take-out food I would commonly eat so I don’t worry and under-eat during the day.

I also learnt that I have some resolve and am good at compromising with myself. On Sunday night I did stock take at the shop, and was there from around 3 until 8pm. And I forgot to bring my dinner. Normally, this would cause me to snack, and then, buy some hot chips on the way home. On the way home I ummmed and ahhhed about buying takeaways because I was so hungry, and came to a compromise. I bought a small packet of potato chips with the kilojoules written on it (so I could count them and keep track) and then made a quick, healthy dinner when I got home. I was fed by 9pm and happy. And instead of snacking at work I had one sugarless lollypop, and just made it last!

The night I had my ‘free’ meal I was at a friend’s place for dinner and I’m really glad I made that my free meal. I ate super healthily during the day in an attempt to make up for it. The food was amazing! But there was so much of it, and it was so rich that after eating I was quite ill. I hate being a difficult dinner guest, so hadn’t mentioned about how high lactose foods make me ill (on top of gluten free vegetarian – what host wants to hear that?). I LOVE high lactose foods, and I got to have a lot of them with this dinner. I wish my body could love the foods that my brain and mouth love so much! This was a good lesson in letting hosts know everything, or (better yet), offering to do the hosting myself. But the cheese was honestly amazing…

Despite temptation and eating some very naughty things (also had RAH trust meeting dinner to attend on Saturday) I lost some weight! And it mightn’t seem a lot, but just losing what I have has pushed my BMI back down into the top of healthy range. Which I know is just a silly number, but it makes me feel as though I am achieving something through making little changes. I am making little changes in my life to make me a healthier, happier person.

I just want to ensure I’ve pointed out that I’m not anti-fat and I don’t care what size my friends are or judge people based on their BMI. I just want to fit my jeans again. I have been more overweight than this before, and for me it meant my cholesterol went up, and because I didn’t fit my clothes, I didn’t want to go out. Because I didn’t go out, I stayed home and ate junk food and was crap to my boyfriend. This made me a sad person. I like to be a curvy girl, but I like being a certain size (not meaning a measurable size) because that size is what’s always been comfy for me. I’ve been a size 8 person before, and that person was about as happy with herself when she was the size 12 – 14 person. It’s about fitting the clothes I have that make me feel confident when I wear them and feeling good in myself. And being a tight arse, and not wanting to have to buy new jeans for Winter.

So that’s it. I won’t be surprised if I lose a bit more weight next week based only on the fact that I haven’t really had a diet to regulate so far due to illness.

Monday 19^th March current weight: 61.5 kilos

Ultimate goal weight: 56.0 kilos

Weight to go: 5.5 kilos

On How To Look Good Like Me Part 1: Skin and Hair

I had a thought this morning as I got myself ready for the day. That thought was I look pretty damn awesome for 30. I wondered if you folks would like to know my tips for how to look awesome like me, so I thought I’d share them with you. This will be a two part blog as it involves a lot of complicated stuff. Today’s main focus is how to look young. Follow these easy tips and people will mistake your face for a baby’s arse.

Firstly: the skin.
I have pretty awesome skin aging-wise. I still get ID’d at bars and at supermarkets sometimes. It’s the only reason I have a license. Having skin like this doesn’t come easy. It takes hard work, sacrifice and a stringent routine. The hard work part is remembering the routine, and the sacrifice is looking like a grown up person. Also it takes good genes. Make sure your mum and dad don't look like raisins at 30. I don't know how you can pick your parents, but work it out - it's a must have item in the wardrobe of your face.

I have extreme white person skin. This means that I have to work extra hard to make sure I don’t get cancer or old people skin. My skin is like my mum and Grandma's, which means it reacts to stuff (clearly not enough effort spent in parent picking). And I’m a cheap arse, so I only buy products that cost less than going to the cinema. I use Olay for sensitive skin as my daily moisturiser. It’s cheap, it comes from the supermarket, and my skin doesn’t react to it. I use a Dove cleanser/toner also from the supermarket. My night and my eye cream come from Avon. The eye cream is the most expensive beauty type thing I own, but I can see that now I’m 30, if I don’t do something that area is going to wrinkle.

My routine is this: Morning – Wash face with cleanser/toner. Moisurise with a moisturiser that is also SPF15+. Put on special eye moisturiser stuff. Put on lip balm.
Night – Wash face again. Put on night time moisturiser. Put on lip balm.
Every day – Use sunscreen – especially on the décolletage area.
On occasion – Use a face mask thingee. This is just for fun.

Now on to applying make-up. I own some. I got mascara and some eye liners and some tester lipsticks from when I was an Avon lady (hilarious move), but I only use them for special occasions. I don’t even own a foundation. The only make-up I use on a daily basis is eyebrow pencil. This is just because I haven’t really got proper eyebrows, so I feel the need to draw some on. If you have eyebrows, this part of my routine is unnecessary for you. Aside from this, not wearing make-up means you can get ready for work quicker, and people think you are younger cos if you get pimples then people can see them. TV teaches us that only teenagers have pimples, therefore you must look younger if you aren’t wearing make-up.

Secondly: the hair. Getting hair like mine takes real skill. Part of that skill entails having no skills; never learning how to use a hair dryer, hair curlers or straighteners is a must. The other part is realising that hair is just hair and it grows back. This realisation enables you to cut your own hair into styles only you could achieve (cos hairdressers lack the creative vision let you leave a salon looking like that.)

You have to have the confidence to wear whatever the outcome with pride. Trust me, I've pulled off some amazingly bad haircuts. I once accidentally cut one of my sideburns off. On a short style so it was completely visible. So I fixed it by shaving it off totally, then shaving off the other side to match. Totally good solution apart from looking like I meant to do it so it looked like a hipster cut. And then it was fashion, so really, an accidental win for all.

For keeping your hair in the fab condition mine is in I recommend: a) Shampooing and conditioning with stuff that you aren't allergic to (I use Sunsilk) about three times a week
b) Regular homestyled haircuts (6 weekly minimum)
c) Not using hair dye
d) Some kind of keratin based product for super shine.

It's also good to have some tools on hand, but the best tools are the basics: a sharp pair of scissors, some bobby clips a comb and a mirror. I choose to cut my hair in styles that are low maintenance, and morph into new styles when you apply zero maintenance. If I sleep on my hair wet I'll get an afro style. If I damp and pin my hair a little it straightens it. Versatility is good.

The best thing about spending almost nothing on the upkeep of your hair, and next to nothing on make-up is that you can spend it on other things. Not having haircuts can save you up to $480 a year. Not dying your hair (based on home dyeing) saves you around $100 a year. Not buying make-up could save you some amount I don't know cos I never used it, but probably around $300. That's almost $900! That's at least enough for a tiny holiday, like a three day in Wellington holiday. Or a bunch of fun things like wine tours on Waiheke and fancy dinners and swanky dates in hotels. These things are important cos less stress means less wrinkles and prettier hair. And also maybe staying in a hotel.

So that concludes Part 1 of How To Look Good Like Me. Next time I'll share my tips on fashion, dressing yourself and perfecting 'The Walk'.

On the first week of the Hannah-made diet

First I have to say that I like my diet. On my diet I can still eat chocolate and jellybeans and cheese and drink coffee and wine. And I’ve made sure there is a free-for-all day, which was very necessary this week as I got to go on an AMAZING wine tour on Waiheke Island for my friend Sara’s 30^th. And, on my diet you do lose weight. I hopped on the scales and I knew I couldn’t have lost much and I didn’t. I only lost 0.4 kilos.

I was a teeny bit sad because I’ve been so good, but then I realised two things:

a) I’m 30, and my metabolism isn’t what it used to be.

b) My life isn’t The Biggest Loser Australia.

My life is still my life and because I’m still 5 weeks out from surgery I can’t really work out so it’s just losing weight via diet. And I have a job and a husband and a social life, so it can’t just be about dieting and exercise and ‘me’ all the time. My diet also allows me to eat fun things, which I don’t think they do cos their trainers will blow their face off with their giant noisy face holes. I really think that treats are important even if they have no nutritional value. If I’m under my maximum KJ consumption for the day, I’m totally allowed some jellybeans!

So actually, losing 0.4 kilos is not that bad. It’s almost a whole American pound! That’s almost a whole block of butter!

What I’m really enjoying is how thinking about what I eat makes me both aware and accountable for everything I put in my mouth. It’s very easy to not think about taste testing the tasters at work, or eating a left over pie at the end of the day (waste not want not), but when you realise how many extra unnecessary kilojoules that is popping into your body it makes it easy to say no. I’m enjoying having a proper sit down breakfast with myself every morning and deciding on snacks to take to work.

I’m also learning that how I naturally cook is actually quite healthy to start with. I haven’t had to change much. The biggest change has been in being organised so we can HAVE a home cooked meal instead of takeaways. I don’t get home until just before 7pm three to four nights a week and have a husband who doesn’t cook. And I’m not one of those people who can come home from working a 9 hour day and then cook and then eat at 7.30 or 8pm. That would make me a hangry murderous kind of person. So usually about three nights a week we end up resorting to takeaway foods.

I’m finding ways around this. I made the batter for some sweetcorn fritters the night before we needed them, and had Murray cook them for dinner the following day (he can do that kind of cooking). We served it with a simple salad that I made when I got home. It took me literally about 7 minutes to prepare that batter, and we were eating by 7pm. Easy and tasty, it just shows I need to be more organised. No takeaways at all for me this week.

The bigger challenge was eating out. We went to a friend’s birthday dinner on Friday night at That’s Amore pizza. Because I was winerying on Saturday, I didn’t have a free dinner pass. Luckily, they don’t do gluten free pizza anyway, so I was restricted to eating salad even without being on a diet. I ordered an amazing salad with artichoke hearts, walnuts and parmesan and asked for the dressing on the side. It was so good that I didn’t feel left out of the fun of the pizza party. The only fail was the three glasses of wine… I almost totally drank the extra un-bought pizza.

This week is super busy and the necessity of meal planning is showing me that I do actually need to spend more time at home. Looking at it now, I’ll only have two nights where I’ll be home before 8.30pm: tonight and Sunday. This makes planning dinners tricky – but also has helped me look at how little time I get for resting and keeping sane. So all in all I think this losing weight thing may end up being helpful in other areas as I will try and trim back my social life and schedule regular time at home to cook, eat, knit and rest.

So this week coming, I probably won’t change much about this diet plan thing, apart from the free day: it should definitely be a free meal. After the wine tour I was a little tipsy and ate a bunch of naughty things. One wine tour with tipsy mistakes won’t be likely to happen again soon, so I think it’ll be easy to avoid this in future. Otherwise, I’ll keep on trucking with my meal planning and food maths – it’s seriously fun!

Monday 12^th March current weight: 62.2 kilos

Ultimate Goal Weight: 56.0 kilos

Weight to go: 6.2 kilos

OoooH! And here is a recipe along with the food math. I'll try and put one of these in every post:

Basic Stiryfry (serves 3 - 4)

2 eggs 648

1/2 tsp Chinese 5 spice 22

1 Tbsp vege oil 485

1 onion 117

1 capsicum 100

4 large button mushrooms 280

200g brocolli 200

2 cloves garlic finely chopped 60

1 red chilli finely chopped 25

3 Tbsp soy sauce 45

1 Tsp honey 267

1 tsp Fish sauce 30

2 Tbsp Japanese cooking wine 168

Total Kilojoules 2269

1) Scramble eggs with 1/4 teaspoon of Chinese 5 spice. Heat half the oil in a wok and fry the egg. Remove from pan.

2) Stirfry veges in remaining oil. I start with the onion, add brocolli and capsicum and lastly the mushroom.

3) Combine garlic, chilli, soy sauce, honey, fish sauce and cooking wine in a small cup. Add with egg to the stir fry once it has cooked.

Divide into 3 or 4 servings and serve each with 3/4 cup cooked white rice (760 kj) or with 3/4 cup brown rice (685kj) This gives you a tasty meal under 2000kj

On Family Health

In the last four months three out of four of those in my immediate family have been hospitalised. I feel sorry for my little brother as it’s been as stressful for him as it has been all of us. Mum’s had ongoing gynae issues which have impacted on other areas of her health. She had to go on the sickness benefit, which is really sad as she loves her job. Dad had a minor heart attack last week. He had two stents put in on Wednesday, and will have a third put in in a couple of weeks. He’s a box of birds at the moment. But his dad passed away when he was in his 50’s – Dad’s in his early 50’s now. Mum’s only 51. It does make you think.

And I’ve been in hospital with my latest ectopic and having my fallopian tube removed. I seem to be following mum in the area of bung gynae bits. And, as they pointed out when visiting Dad at hospital, heart health is hereditary, so Jim and I (and our cousins too!) should be careful.

My main concern with the gynae stuff is ending up with internal scarring from multiple surgeries and having complications down the line like mum. I haven’t had nearly as much surgery as Mum, but I had intermittent chronic abdominal pain for a year following my first ectopic which landed me back in hospital twice. Thankfully, after this recent surgery, I have not had the same issue. Everything appears to be healing fine and the pain is only there if I overdo things. All I can do about my gynae health is follow the rules and have faith in our ever evolving health system.*

I never really thought about the possibility of genetic heart problems until I visited Dad in hospital. Granddad Barry (Dad’s Dad) died of a heart attack young, but he didn’t have the healthiest lifestyle. His (Granddad’s) parents lived healthily for a very long time, so I always thought of Granddad’s heart attack as a family anomaly. I’m not too worried about Dad. Catching things early on and putting the stents in means that with a few lifestyle tweaks (quitting smoking, and maybe knowing when to slow down…), he should be right as rain for quite a long time. It does make me consider the health of my own heart though, which is something I never really thought about before. I don’t smoke, I eat pretty healthy, and my cholesterol is now ok (it has been high previously). I should watch my alcohol intake though…

And I have got a little fat recently. With getting pregnant just after Christmas (binge eating season), and then having surgery I’ve put on about three kilos. Pre-Christmas, I was already at a bit more than I like to be, and with this bit extra it means I’m about 6 or 7 kilos over what I’d really like to be. My BMI is a bit over what it should be and means I’m technically overweight. This is something which contributes to heart health, and is something that I can change.

So this week is my first week on a kilojoule counting diet. I’m naughty and doing it without medical guidance (cos I’m a tight arse) – but I am a sensible person who works in the field of food and nutrition so it should be ok. I’ve made Monday my ‘weigh in’ day – today I had my first one. I’m using the local chemist so I can track my weight loss more accurately. If I’m losing more than a kilo a week, I’ll adjust my diet to suit. I’ve set myself a kilojoule range rather than a number to be under as I think it’s healthier and a bit more realistic. I don’t want to be skinny – I’ve been skinny and I don’t think I suit it. I just want to be healthy, feel good and fit into my jeans again.

Focusing on this aspect of my health while I wait to find out what’s happening with the other area is really useful for my mental health. And, if we do have a good result with the scan, I can start my next pregnancy in better health, which will give us a better chance of carrying a healthy baby to term. Accounting for it is also good for my health, as I can get a little obsessive about these things. So I’m going to post a blog about this each Monday. I promise to also post any awesome recipes, tips and tricks I come up with too, to make it less boring if you regularly read my blog.

Monday 5^th March current weight: 62.6 kilos

Ultimate Goal Weight: 56.0 kilos

Weight to go: 6.6 kilos

*Seriously! Mum and I worked out that between us we've had an ectopic in each decade over the last 40 years. It's amazing how things have changed. Her first two they cut her hip to hip, mine were both keyhole and with the second one everything was glued - so no stitches! I think in ten years time it'll be different again.