On Politics: Part Two – Economic policy

I’m trying to keep this short and simple, which is very tricky. What seem to me to be the major economic issues for this election are:

- Getting a handle on our debt

- Growing our economy

- Taxation

- Cost of living

- Savings schemes

Here are some graphs to give you an idea of how our debt has been handled over the last ten years. The things we need to take into account when looking at this are the major, unexpected expenses which have come up since the last election – the Christchurch earthquakes and the Rena grounding. This has, understandably, blown out budgets significantly. What is interesting about the graphs is how it shows a serious decline in debt toward the end of Labours last term in government. Despite National constantly touting Labour as the 'spendthrift' party, they managed to keep our debt in check. Both National and Labour have plans to have our debt paid down by 2015, but both have very different plans. In simplified form, National plan to part sell our SOE’s, grow the economy and cut spending. Labour plan to install a CGT, bring emissions taxing for farmers forward to 2013, grow the economy, gradually increase the retirement age to 67, and bring the upper tax bracket back up to where it was before National reduced it.

In order for us to ‘compete’ with other countries in terms of wages and work opportunities, we need to grow our economy. Growing our economy will also help us pay down our debt faster, and add some slack to those tight governmental purse strings. This is valued by all the political parties I looked at, but all have a different view on how to do this. National plans to reduce business costs, work on progressing trade agreements to encourage our export market, use Asset Sale shares as a way to ‘revamp’ investment, alter the beneficiary system significantly and improve infrastructure (internet/roading etc) within NZ. Labour are looking at bringing in an R&D tax credit to encourage research and development, creating more apprenticeship schemes, putting more red tape around the sale of our land to foreigners, keep government contracting to NZ based firms only and introduce a CGT to encourage more diverse investment.

In the minority parties the Greens are interested in more than measuring a country by GDP, and want to focus on creating a new way to measure success. They want to create more sustainable businesses, support local businesses and stop the sale of land to foreigners. Act want to cut spending and red tape, lower taxes, sell SOE’s and allow more mining. NZ First want to buy back land that is in foreign hands and rebuild the NZ export economy without free trade deals with low wage economies. Maori want to encourage business in small rural communities, and create a Maori Economic Strategy.

Tax is an interesting thing. It is essential to the running of our country, but also hits us where it can hurt – in the pocket. Labour’s proposed CGT has got a lot of people running scared, but it isn’t a new concept. It has been one of the Green’s policies for a long time, and currently exists in most OECD countries. National and Act are against it, but it is a tax policy most minority parties agree on. Where Act and NZ First is about lower taxes for all, Labour wants to bring the upper tax rate back up to where it was before National took it down and bring emissions taxation forward. The Greens want to bring in more eco taxes and Mana want to bring in the ‘Hone Heke’ tax (like the British ‘Robin Hood’ tax) and a more progressive tax system.

There are also some ‘tax free’ zones proposed by a number of parties. For every party for it, there is a different amount:

Labour $5,000 Greens $10,000 Maori $25,000 Mana $27,000

Many parties are also all for taking GST off at least something, if not everything. Mana want to abolish GST entirely, Maori want to remove it from food, and Labour want to remove it from fruit and veges.

Cost of living is of large concern to many of us. Inflation has gone up around 9% because of the rise of food, electricity and petrol prices, not to mention the 2.5% hike to GST. Over this time median incomes have dropped around 6%, and the minimum wage has increased just 1.9%. For families working hard for minimum or low wages, it’s tough times. National has few plans to address this – a slight reshuffle of Working for Families giving low income families around $14 extra a week, and changes to healthcare. Labour, NZ First, Greens and Mana want to bring the minimum wage up to $15, with both Greens and Mana wanting to fix minimum wage at two-thirds of the average wage. Changes to GST are also designed to aid in this. Act do not seem to be concerned about cost of living at all, but given their target demographic for votes, this is no surprise.

Savings has become even more of an issue for this election with Standard & Poors saying this was a key reason behind our credit downgrade. To be honest, it’s quite difficult to find what the minority parties plan to do about this through reading policy online. Although the Greens say they ‘support savings schemes’ they do not outline specifically how they support these. National and Labour clearly outline how they plan to address this issue. National plan to increase minimum Kiwisaver payments, establish auto-enrolment to Kiwisaver in 2014 (if in surplus), adding investment opportunity through partial asset sales, and resuming contributions to the NZ Super fund once back in surplus. Labours plans are similar – making Kiwisaver compulsory, restarting contributions to the NZ Super fund and gradually increasing the age of Super entitlement from 65 – 67 over 22 years.

So that’s the basic gist of financial policy. I’m sure you have already made your mind up, or at least thought about what you think makes most sense. I’ll tell you my thoughts pretty shortly, but first, here are a few informative articles about what other people think: This is from business leaders on National's economic plan. This, on National from an MYOB poll. And this is an interesting blog on both parties and their approach to the economy.

Economics is supposed to be National’s strong suit, and as such, I see no point in debating their numbers. Phil Goff has produced the numbers also, and until someone other than John Key and Bill English can pick this apart, I see no reason to believe it will not work. More importantly, National's fiscal policy might be completely sound, but is it really what's good for New Zealand?

National are proposing selling off 49% shares in some of our SOE's. This means that the government will maintain decision making power over these assets, but 49% of the profits from those assets will go to whoever invests in them. National and Act are behind this idea, but everyone else disagrees with this. And although National has said these shares will be sold to 'Kiwi families', the likelihood of 'Kiwi families being able to afford this investment is minimal, and in reality, these investments will go offshore. This will not 'revamp' the NZ investment economy as proposed by National. It will just provide a short-term cash fund for the government. As David Cunliffe from Labour says: ‘Asset sales: a one off, short term fix that ignores the lessons of history.’ Selling off our SOE’s is an extremely short sighted plan with little benefit. My other concern with National’s proposal of this, is the validity of it being necessary to get us into surplus. Initially, asset sales were designed to pay down our debt. Now National are saying that asset sales will fund changes to education, health and provide more funds for Kiwibank, so are asset sales really necessary to get us into surplus?

Labour (and every party besides National and Act) give us the option not to sell our SOE's. This comes at the price of changes to taxation. If the upper tax bracket is brought back up to 39%, it will still be the 7^th lowest top tax bracket in the OECD. Countries with lower top tax brackets tend to have more unequal societies. Given that NZ is currently rated as the 6^th most unequal economic society in the OECD, surely upping tax levels in the top bracket can only mean positives for us as a country? Introducing CGT’s to me is just a common sense way of creating a fairer tax system and a more equal society. Please read Labour’s CGT policy if you don’t really understand it – it’s quite simple, and not really that scary.

For those of you who don't know me, you are probably thinking that I'm just another 'bloody Leftist', that I have everything to gain from Labour and nothing to lose. That I am another poor beneficiary who is moaning about the 'haves and the have nots'. Like many 'Leftists', I am not. My husband and I both work. Financially, I would probably be considered middle class. We eat out at nice restaurants, we're about to buy our first home, we travel overseas, we part-own our family bach. Although (like most Kiwis) we would not be affected 'in the pocket' by changes to the upper tax bracket, we would be financially affected by the introduction of a CGT and changes to the retirement age and my workload would be affected by changes to GST My choice not to support National is not about financial envy, it's about how I truly believe NZ can be a better country to live in.

I do not believe selling our assets is a good long term plan. Neither do most politicians. I do believe in creating a fairer tax system. Given both our current financial position and position on the OECD tables, I think this is necessary for creating an all-round better New Zealand. More equal societies have been proven to have lower rates of crime, unemployment, poverty, teen pregnancy, mental illness and homelessness. That means less spending on health and law enforcement, and an increase in tax revenues. The bottom line is important to me, but, like the Greens, I believe the wealth of a country is determined by more than it's GDP.

On Politics: Part one - NZd's Hottest Politicians 2011

Now that we're coming into election month, I thought I'd write a series of posts which cover my thoughts on party policy (because I rant about it so much) around the following important areas:

- Finance

- Health and wellbeing

- Environment

- Education

- Fairness and equality

BUT, before I get all serious about politics I’d like to take some time to talk about the most fun way to vote in this election: by hottest MP. So I thought I'd look into this and reveal the hottest faces in politics, the hottest area, and, most importantly, the hottest party in New Zealand. Now this is an area of great discussion between my husband and I as we drive into the zone of his number one hottest lady in politics (ahh, Carmel). So before I give you MY thoughts, I’ll remind you of this years hottest lot as voted in The Durex Valentine's Day Foreplay Election Survey.

For the ladies:

1) Jacinda Adern (Labour)

2) Nikki Kaye (National)

3) Paula Bennett (National)

And for the gentlemen:

1) John Key(National)

2) Simon Bridges (National)

3) Bill English (National)

Jacinda and Nikki not only have to battle it out in the 'hot' seat, but they are also both standing for the Auckland Central seat. In my personal opinion, Nikki out-hots Jacinda by a country mile. If Jacinda learnt to smile without using all her teeth, she might be slightly better competition. And Paula Bennett, well, I’m not a huge fan of her policies, but I agree she’s a bit of alright in the looks department.

Now this is John Key.

He has won this for two years running now, and I have to say I have no idea why. Yes, he's been in Woman's Day more than the rest, but surely that doesn't make him a hot man? I don’t find him attractive at all. His jaw line is undefined, he has kind of piggy eyes, and let’s face it, that nose does him no favours. I do see that he is a charismatic man, and I know that charisma trumps looks, but really people, are you sure about this guy?

Simon Bridges who took out second, is definitely a hot man. I can't see why he's not number one though. He is much better looking than Mr Key. Bill English, like John, is a mystery to me. Bill is one of the few National MP’s I actually like, but I don’t find him attractive at all.

I don’t know what was up with this election survey. There are some very hot politicians missing from the top spots. I am very surprised to see Melissa Lee from National not in the top three this year. She is currently ranked the 50^th hottest woman in politics worldwide. And yes, I know, she was extremely offensive to the entire South Auckland populace, but this is about looks people, and I have to agree that she’s smoking hot.

After scouring the party lists for Labour, National, Greens, NZ First, The Maori

Party, Mana Party, Alliance, Act and Democrats for Social Credit (that's a LOT

of MP's!) I found a couple of other gems. Carmel Supuloni from Labour, Waitakere, is who my husband is in love with. I have to admit, Carmel (top of blog post), is pretty banging. I think she definitely out hots Paula Bennett, and it's easy to see this as their billboards are often almost side by side.

But my number one hottest lady in politics, who is probably not mentioned as she’s ranked 46th on the party list is Sehai Orgad from Labour, Hamilton East. Hot damn! This woman is extremely good looking. She looks like a beautiful mermaid that got washed up on our shores before the Rena disaster. How she ended up in Hamilton East is anyone’s guess. I showed her to Murray and now he’s having a dilemma over Carmel. She is magical.

There was also a MILF (or GILF) that deserve notable mention. Charmaine Watts from the Greens is a bit of a minx. She has a bit of mischief in her eyes, and she’s a stunner. After discussing ‘silver foxes’ many times, we label this category the ‘silver beaver’, and Charmaine is that.

Now, on to the top blokes. The survey got this so one so wrong. The ladies, I can kind of understand, but the men? The notable people missing from this survey are: Kelvin Davis (Labour), Dion Jelley (NZ First), Peseta Sam Lotu-liga (National) and good old Winston Peters.

Now Kelvin Davis is my Carmel Sepuloni. Whenever we head West, and I see his billboards I get just a little bit hot under the collar. If I were in the Te Tai Tokerau electorate, he’d be my guy. When scanning through though the candidates, I spotted a couple of other notable mentions. I checked out Dion Jelley’s Facebook page – many hot pics of him there. Definitely should have made top four at least.

And Pesata Sam Lotu-liga just has something so warm about his face. How could anyone not fall in love with him?

Winston Peters is one of those love/hate characters who’s been in politics for a long while now. But even if you hate him, how can you deny that he is a silver fox? He’s the Howard Morrison of politics. He’s got charisma, he’s got style and I think he’s got the looks too. If he were a single man, and I were a single lady and he closed his mouth for five minutes, I’d go there. If I were voting for our next Prime Minister solely on looks, it’d be NZ First all the way.

Also have to mention Mahesh Bindra from NZ First for the most impressive tashe. He could almost fit in well here with the other Kenny Rogers lookalikes. Mahesh, you made my morning so much better.

So here are my final verdicts.

For hottest female MP it’s gotta be Sehai Orgad. Despite this being only my opinion I’m guessing she’s missing from the Durex poll purely because people thought her a vision, a mirage, because no politician in NZ could possibly be this hot. So she wins. Go Labour!

For hottest male MP based on pure looks (sorry Kelvin) it’s Simon Bridges. Simon, you look like a smarmy little prick, BUT I must admit, you are a pretty hot man. So he wins. Go National!

The hottest area of MP’s in New Zealand has gotta be Waitakere/Te Tai Tokerau with Paula Bennett, Carmel Sepuloni and Kelvin Davis (I combined electorates a little - made sense really). Number two is Auckland Central. With Nikki Kaye and Jacinda Adern - the two top picks from Durex. Number three is Tauranga, with good old Winston Peters and favourite Simon Bridges. Note that there is only one MP representing all of the South Island. You hang in there Bill!

Now we’ve reached the most important part of all – the hottest political party in New Zealand. I worked this out by allocating points to each party based on the selected MP's and ranked them based on ‘official’ ranking as well as my personal ranking.

There was a clear overall winner, which was National. Not too far behind in second, was Labour. A surprising third place goes to NZ First – a bunch of pretty good looking blokes in that party, and the Greens were worth mentioning with their 'silver beaver'. There are little to no attractive politicians to be found in any of the other parties I looked at. Kudos to Democrats for Social credit and Mana party – there were a few people that nearly made it to my final list. And Dr Pita Sharples from Maori has made the Durex list before - we can't forget that. Well done all.

So if you are choosing to vote based solely on hot politicians, vote National in the 2011 election. Don’t vote for Act.

On being silly

So I haven’t written a blog post in ages because I’ve been slack, so I thought I’d better write something. The only thing which inspired me today was my horoscope. Not the bloody RWC results, the coming election, the Rena disaster or the Occupy movement because today I have a headache, and those things are far too hard to fathom.

Here is my horoscope for today:

You haven't been celebrating life to the hilt. It's the little details that turn an ordinary scene into a party. If you haven't already, this is the perfect day to go looking for the mother of all pumpkins.

Now if I was in Dave Gorman’s Important Astrological Experiment, I would probably take this advice on board and go and find a giant pumpkin. But I am not, and I am under the weather so can’t be bothered finding a pumpkin. And given my propensity for celebrating small things, I think a more appropriate horoscope for me today would be:

You need to stop dwelling on winning the trophies you have created and maybe do something useful for a change, like seeing a dentist or getting a haircut like your flatmate Sam. Hannah, you have a mullet.

Now I don’t think I should stop celebrating small things. I think it’s a very important part of life. I was talking about it with one of my regular customers at work yesterday and we agreed that most grown-ups have forgotten what it’s like to be properly silly. I don’t mean drunken karaoke silly. I mean fall-on-your arse-when-you’re-not-drunk silly. I’m pretty good at both of these kinds of silly. And watching large amounts of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia has kind of inspired me to be more silly more often.

I think that grown-ups with kids understand silliness a little better than people without kids. That’s mostly because children say and do ridiculous things all the time. Kids are, by nature, a bit ridiculous. The only problem being that when you HAVE kids, you tend to monitor your silly better because you have to set ‘an example’. Because I don’t have kids, and I’m silly, I am not the best when there are kids are around. I encourage them to be a bit silly, and kids being kids, have more energy for silliness than me. They out silly me, and then they get in trouble. And it really is my fault, not theirs – I don’t know how to put proper boundaries around silliness, and kids are still learning boundaries themselves, so it becomes utter chaos.

As grown-ups I think we all need to be a bit silly. Parents included. Sure, we need to do some grown up things, maybe have some financial stability, goals, be nice to people, blah blah blah, but there is always room for being silly. Here are some examples of simple ways of injecting a little silly into your life:

1. Buy a big bouncy ball from the $2 shop. See how far you can kick it. This helps you to ‘press play’, be silly and meet your neighbours!

2. Pull faces at small children that stare at you in malls, buses, parks, anywhere really. Just not a scary face. In lieu of this (if you don’t know how scary your face is), smile at small children.

3. Buy some bubble mixture. Blow bubbles in a crowded public place. This makes everyone happy.

4. Play ‘$2-$3 Challenge’ with some friends at a $2 shop, emporium, The Warehouse or K Mart.Try and buy the most awesome thing you can find. You vote afterwards and can’t vote for your own thing. And play with all the things.

5. Build a hut in your living room. Probably best to do this with household objects, not sticks and leaves. That’s a little too silly.

If you need a slightly sillier challenge, try one of these ones on for size:

1. Decide on a competition of some kind (gross food eating, cup cake decorating, four square tournament etc). Invite your friends. Make a trophy. Try really hard to win the trophy but don’t break anyone’s legs or stuff whilst doing so.

2. Create a ‘local park challenge’. Go with your friends to a local park. Design some kind of confidence course on it then time trial everyone over the course.

3. Go out to a café/supermarket in your pyjamas or some awesome dress up gears. Smile at anyone who looks at you. Make some new friends.

I encourage everyone to get their silly on. And make trophies. Then you can get a trophy cabinet and look important. Being silly is important. But so is not having a mullet.

On the joys of flatting

I’ve been flatting on and off for the last 12 years. I moved out of home at 18 like many teens with inconveniently placed parental homes. And like most people I’ve ended up back there a couple of times too. After having some massive changes at our current flat, and with the prospect on owning my (our) own home looming I thought it would be interesting to work out how many people I’ve flatted with over the years. The number is 44. That’s quite a lot of people.

Now that number isn’t taking into account people I’ve liked so much I’ve lived with them twice (Mindy, Steph, Josh and now Sam). It also doesn’t take into account when I lived with my boyfriend Vincent and his family (which would add 7 people to the tally). It doesn’t include moving back home with Mum and other family members or the times when you stay at your boyfriends flat a whole lot but you don’t actually ‘live’ there. It does take into account the flat in London, but only because I realised I’d lived with those guys for longer than some of my actual flatmates and I cleaned that house so it counts.

I’ve been living in Kiwi Road in Pt Chev for about three and a half years now. It’s the longest I’ve lived anywhere for since I left home. In this house alone I’ve lived with 15 people over the years. Some folks have lived here for the long haul – Tien and Terry were here about a year and a half, and some of the young un’s, like Prabu, only stayed about a month. I now live with my husband, my friend Sam has just moved in, and soon a new number 45 will move in.

This number might terrify those in older generations who never experienced ‘flatting’, or even those in my generation who got married or kidded up early on. To be honest though, for folks like me that have been flatting for a while, it won’t be the largest number floating around. Murray reckons his number is close to 30. What might terrify some people even more is that people like me are now so used to living with others, that the idea of living alone with a partner is a pretty strange concept.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m really looking forward to it. It’ll be our house so we can do what we want to it. We’ll only have to clean up after ourselves. We won’t have to listen to loud annoying music at weird hours. But Murray feels differently. He’s already asked about getting a boarder in and we haven’t even found a house yet. He’s so acclimatised to living with other people, having other noise in the house, having someone to converse with if you feel like it, that not having those people around seems a bit odd. He’s always lived with other people. I haven’t. I lived alone for a year when I was 20 and loved it. I also spent much of my childhood on an isolated farm in the middle of nowhere. Murray grew up in the suburbs. Although I’m the ‘social’ one of the two of us, I love me some space.

My favourite thing about living with so many people has been seeing new ways to eat food. I’ve lived with people from so many places; England, the US, Malaysia, Sri Lanka, South Africa. Even other regular Jo Bloggs Kiwi’s have taught me a thing or two new about food. Living in the Sunnyside road flat I learned that I LOVED roast parsnips and garlic. I’ve learned how easy it is to make a Thai curry, which was quickly added to my cooking repertoire. I’ve leant about salting eggplants. I’ve learnt about the joy of rice cookers. It may sound banal, but without flatting with so many people I’m sure my culinary skills wouldn’t be quite what they are now. And I love food, so this is quite important to me.

I’ve also enjoyed being exposed to so many different types of flats. The Pirate Flat in Surrey Cres where Darcy had a wood turning workshop under the house and a living room full of plastic animals, paintings and chairs hanging from the ceiling. I had a friend stay over once and he was too scared to sleep in the lounge because the animals were 'looking' at him. Sunnyside road, where there were always at least 6 wonderful people over for dinner, even though only 4 of us lived there. Sara’s place at Keppell street; the crash flat from ‘Nam. And Kiwi Road, which has seen such a wide array of people from art students, to Monday night DJ’s, IT geeks, engineers and a blacksmith. The diversity of flatting means your life is always altered in interesting, unexpected ways.

As you get older though, flatting does get harder. When I was 20 I didn’t really care when I went to bed, who was staying over or how much washing there was to do. Now I’m 30 I have a job, a husband, a budget and a need for some semblance of routine. Now if someone keeps me up until 1am on a ‘school night’ I get a bit cranky because I have to wake up in 6 hours time for a 9 hour work day. Many folks still flatting at our age are looking for that party flat. We are not a party flat. We’re like many in our generation who are still flatting as it’s the most financially viable option while we save for our independence. We had the ultimate flat balance for a while, but the thing about flatting is that balance is always fleeting; flats are in a constant state of flux. Once you’ve got used to balance, it’s extremely tricky to go back to 1am wake up calls from noise-some flatmates, or to anal flatmates that require constantly pristine cohabitation conditions. This is why I am really looking forward to finally finding a home of our own.

I can completely understand Murray’s desire to live with others. And I’ve said that after maybe six months of ‘just us’ we can think about it. The thing is, with not needing anyone financially to fill the gap we can wait until Mr or Miss Right comes along. There’s no rush. And MAYBE after six months of living in quiet time where there are never any dishes that aren’t ours, bedtimes of our choosing, and the potential for late night living room Playstation romps which disturb no-one, he might change his mind….

On getting older

I turned 30 just over a week ago. I had a lovely quiet day at work, followed by a quiet night at home with my wonderful husband having had TWO parties preceding that: one with my friends and one with my family. I’m an incredibly lucky girl. 30’s no big deal. It’s just another year, just a different number. People still think I’m twenty half of the time, which I’m sure helps me not feel like I’m any older I still get ID’ed when going to bars I haven’t been to before. I’m so thankful to whoever I got these youthful genetics from. They’re bloody awesome!

Despite 30 just being a number (which it is) and me still appearing youthful (which I do), there are little things that remind me that I’m getting older. I’ve noticed that the older you get, the more time seems to speed up. It’s probably something to do with developing routines (which is useful), so the weeks just fly by. I'm sure yesterday was Friday, but now it's Wednesday. It's somewhat disconcerting. I was just planning my Civil Union. I just got home from my honeymoon. But actually, it’s now not even four months off Christmas. Before I know it it’ll be our first ‘Union’ anniversary. Before I know it I’ll be 40.

The funny thing about time is that it never does what you want. When you’re a kid you are just waiting to get older, and it seems to take forever. Now I just wish time could slow down. There aren’t enough hours in the day to get things done. Even worse, especially when you’re a woman, you’re kind of on a clock.

If you’ve ever conceived of procreating, you’ve generally set some goals around it. When I was in my early 20’s, the cut off date for babies was 25. Because I was never the cluckiest girl in the world, I wasn’t upset when I turned 25 and had no babies. I was so certain about not getting sprogged up that a few years ago I became an egg donor. Just because I didn’t want any, didn’t mean I didn’t want anyone else to have any. If you want to be an egg donor and don’t already have kids, they’ll only let you do it if you’re never planning on having any. I wasn’t. Now I’m 30 and have a wonderful husband and some financial stability, I’ve been reconsidering the baby cut off date. I think Murray and I would be great parents. I also think we need to own a home first. So now the baby cut off date is getting pushed back. It’s hard, I don’t want to be an older parent, but if I’m going to be a parent at all, that’s the only option I have.

I know that more and more people are having their first kids in their 30’s (although according to recent stats, that’s actually changing). But there are other things in the back of my mind. When my mum was about my age, she had a hysterectomy. I had an ectopic pregnancy when I was 20, and although I’ve had scans and everything’s fine in my tubular zone (you get a million scans when you decide to be an egg donor), it’s always in the back of my head. I also have a retroverted uterus. Won't affect anything, completely useless information really, but retroverted is a cool word.

The other thing in the back of my head is the voice of friends and collegues saying ‘Don’t do it when you’re 37! It’s bloody hard.’ And ‘It was so much easier when I was in my 20’s’. And then the other thing in the back of my head is that older parents are kind of lame. I had young parents, and they weren’t perfect by any means, but they were cool. They listened to Pink Floyd, and Led Zepplin, whereas my friends' older parents listened to Elvis, Cliff Richard, classic hits and opera. My parents played backyard cricket with us. I don’t know how easy it is to do that when you’ve had kids in your late 30’s and have RSI and back problems. I don’t want to be a decrepit parent and I don’t want to be out of touch with my kids.

And I can see that happening, because I’m already out of touch with kids these days. Even though we’re the generation raised on computers, technology moves so fast, and I care so little about it, that I have no idea what’s going on half the time. What’s worse is that I don’t care. I don’t care about ‘apps’. I don’t even have a phone that can take pictures, or has internet, or even pixt capability. I only learnt to use email at 18 because I had to use it for work. The only driver behind my having any technological skills at all has been requiring them for my jobs. I’m really a total luddite. I still find it odd that I can type fast, run a website (through a system mind you) and know how to program basic HTML. I don’t even really understand how computers work at all, except they’re apparently a bit like a complex abacus that somehow files information.

And even the kids that don’t like computers like other things I don’t understand. I don’t understand spending large amounts of money on toys when kids are quite capable of amusing themselves. I grew up on a farm, with no money but lots of imagination, and can already hear myself doing the whole ‘When I was your age… (insert seemingly ridiculous comment here)’ thing. Who wants a parent like that? And I don’t understand things like Hannah Montana, or Justin Beiber or LMFAO, or modern ‘dance’ music. What’s up with all that stuff? Does that mean I won’t be a ‘cool’ parent like my parents were?

Murray took me to see Dylan Moran for my 30^th birthday present. It was wonderful. The only problem was the drunk 50+ year olds sitting next to Murray who rudely talked through the entire first half, then, on returning from half time spilt half a drink down the back of a chair (and person) in front of us. It was truly appalling. What was equally appalling was me bitching about it like a grumpy old person. Moments like that are moments when you realise you are getting old. Probably because you aren't the drunk annoying person.

I do actually quite enjoy the whole process of getting older. I like ranting about stuff almost no-one cares about. I like remembering the 90’s. I like bitching about politics. I like being a technophobe. I like knowing my cholesterol isn't too high. And Dylan Moran's an older parent. And he's cool. I know for at least a little while, I was pretty cool too –I was once in ‘a band’ and I did an art degree – you can’t argue with that evidence of cool. Dylan Moran's kids probably don't think he's cool. They probably think he's a grumpy old man. If we have kids, they probably won’t think I’m cool either, but I’ll know I was cool, and, hopefully, my friends will still think I'm cool and I guess that's what matters. In all honesty I’ll probably always think I’m cool. That’s probably even lamer than trying to be cool.

I better stop writing now. It's almost 10pm and I need to read my book and go to sleep.

Getting my knee on the wall

Up until late last year I’d never broken anything really important. I’d broken a finger, a couple of toes and I’d fractured a metatarsal in my foot. They all hurt like bejesus, but never caused any real fuss. When I fractured my talus last year, I don’t think I really knew how big a deal it was going to be. I figured I’d broken some stuff before and I’d been on crutches before, so it’s not worth making a fuss.

When I had the accident, I was pretty sure I’d just really badly sprained my ankle. I badly sprained the same ankle when I was 17 and ended up in a back slab cast and on crutches for a bit. This felt kind of the same. When I was 17 my ankle went floppy, at 29 my ankle went floppy. At 17 my ankle went funny colours and puffed up like a balloon. At 29 my ankle went funny colours and puffed up like a balloon. Immediately on landing from the fall all I thought was ‘shit. This is going to take me out of work for a bit.’ I didn’t really think any further than that.

I really didn’t think I was going to end up in hospital for 4 days. Ascot took an x-ray and were pretty sure it was a talus fracture, so they sent me to Auckland for a cat scan to double check. Auckland took an x-ray and couldn’t see a talus fracture but my ankle had puffed up bigger than a snow boot so the registrar said I’d probably need ligament surgery. I had to wait to be checked by the specialist the next morning and then they’d open me up. I really hadn’t seen that one coming.

I’ll try and paraphrase the rigmarole that was my 4 days in Auckland Hospital: Specialist said talus fracture and ligament damage, but wasn’t sure of course of action. Much waiting for CT scan and plaster (ankle still not fixed in place). Registrar forgot to do paper work for both. Much more waiting. Very angry plaster technician. Gluten free vegetarian hospital food is just pumpkin and/or kumara. Morphine made me ill. Then anti emetics made me ill. Then I got an anti emetic that didn’t make me ill so I could take morphine. Too sleepy to knit from morphine. Course of action: moonboot and crutches. No surgery. Discharged.

Because of the break and the swelling and the extreme pain (which is typical of a talus fracture) I couldn’t start physio until 8 weeks after I had the accident. I was off work for 8 weeks, and then gradually eased back into work whilst still in a moon boot. I had two ACC case managers that weren’t terrible. I had my Civil Union coming up in April. I had a great physio. I managed to walk down the aisle without anyone noticing my slight limp (I think). I managed to go on our honeymoon, and although what I could do was limited, I still did a lot, and had a great time.

Following the whirl wind of our Civil Union I realised that maybe things weren’t going normally. May was 5 months out from the accident and I was still having a lot of issues with movement. I sat on doing anything for a bit. We’d just started doing physio in the gym as well as hands on and I thought that might make some difference. It didn’t. It was extremely frustrating for me because I had made such great improvements in other areas. My balance is extremely good for someone with an ankle injury, and that ankle is very strong.

Dorsiflexion is the movement where you lift your foot up toward your leg, pushing the heel down and the toes up. I never thought about how ankles even worked before my accident. Now I know that without dorsiflexion you can’t do a lot of things. You can’t run. You can’t jump. You can’t skip. You can’t squat down to turn on computers at work, and you can’t dance particularly well. It has many real world ramifications; imagine trying to look after your kids without being able to easily pick them up off the ground? I decided to book a specialist appointment.

Meanwhile, my physio Barb had an accident of her own, unfortunately injuring her thumb quite seriously – not so good if you’re a physio. So Barb had to get some surgery herself, and is still recovering. I got a new physio. The first session with him was absolute torture. I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to walk without crying afterward. But I could, and after a few torture sessions I started finding that the movement which has been the bane of my existence for the last 8 months was gradually getting better.

I saw a specialist a couple of weeks ago. My accident must have been pretty special because he remembered me despite having never met me. He was consulted on my initial CT because of the break, ligament damage and bone fragment mess that was my ankle almost 8 months ago. It must have been memorable. He said the amount of movement wasn’t great, but that we’d check in again in a couple of months, and if it still hadn’t improved much, we’d have another CT and go from there.

Before I started physio, I was going a little mental. I felt useless – I couldn’t even shower myself if I was home alone in case I had a fall. I felt alienated from my friends – I couldn’t easily go to parties, couldn’t catch a bus to go for coffee. I felt scared – what if my ligaments were screwed and they found out later and I needed surgery and it didn’t work and I couldn’t walk properly ever again? Despite the fantastic support from my partner, friends and whanau, it was a very sad and lonely time. I genuinely think I would have lost the plot without physiotherapy. Physio taught me to focus on the small achievements, and let go of the rest for a while.

When I started working with Barb she showed me the test for dorsiflexion. You stand with your toes on a wall, put your knee on the wall, and creep your foot back whilst keeping your heel on the ground. The average person should get their toe around 14cm away from the wall. When I started physio, I couldn’t actually bend my knee at all with a foot flat on the ground. My knee remained a full foot length from the wall. Today at physio, I got my knee on the wall.

Getting my knee on the wall is still very far away from normal movement (14cm in fact), but it is a massive improvement from where my movement was. This small achievement has solidified for me that my dorsiflexion can improve, and that I can work at it to ensure it does. I am no longer worried that there might be bone fragments restricting my movement. I am no longer concerned about being a disabled parent one day. I’m no longer worried about what the specialist is going to say to me in 6 weeks time. I got my knee on the wall, so I’m going to be fine.

Rabbit Rehab

I’ve owned one rabbit before the current bunny saga. His name was Remington, and he was a noble rabbit. Without him, I never would have developed my love for the lapin. Growing up a farmer’s daughter, rabbits were our mortal enemies. We shot and sometimes ate them. I wondered why people would have them as pets when they could have dogs or cats. I mean, it’s not like they even do anything. They don’t make noises. They don’t wag their tails. Why not have a fish really? Remington’s rambunctious nature changed all that. His favourite food was tomato sauce.

Now we have two rabbits: Wellesley and Newton, father and son. The mother left (oh Elliot, where are you now?) and Wellesley raised a little tribe of bunnies single pawedly. He did a pretty good job too. We gave away the other bunnies, and kept Newton as a companion rabbit even though I know you aren’t supposed to have two boys together…. So far they had gotten along very well. They slept together all cuddled up in a cute rabbity ball.

After a while of great father son happy times, it became apparent that Newton needed neutering. He started humping his dad. Animals don’t care so much about the familial relationships they share with who they hump, rabbits especially. Wellesley tried to hump my elbow once. Anyway, initially Newton’s humping seemed ok. Wellesley would just run away. At that point I couldn’t afford to neuter Newton. Rabbit neutering is not cheap. It’s around $125 - $160 (we neutered Wellesley after he became a dad). After a while it became apparent that it was causing Wellesley some serious stress, so Murray helped me out and we got Newton neutered.

Rabbits don’t always recover well from surgery. They have to be separated from other rabbits for almost two weeks. The reintroduction didn’t go so well after the two week break. Wellesley had gotten used to the freedom of not being humped, and Newton had residual hormones and was rabbit wild horny. So Newton chased Wellesley, and Wellesley was terrified of Newton. We tried to make them live together, but it was just too cruel (Wellesley had even escaped a few times) so we separated them.

We have tried on multiple occasions to get them back together, particularly because for a while there we had one rabbit in the house (Wellesley) and one rabbit outside (Newton). We tried getting them back together in different environs. We tried the bathroom (too small), the outside hutch (Wellesley was too good at escaping), the bedroom (most epic rabbit battle of all time, mid air flying rabbit kick collisions). Murray didn’t like living with a rabbit in the bathroom. I promised we’d get them both outside, but it was hard because I broke my ankle and couldn’t even get into the rabbit enclosure. In the end, we rangied up a divider on the inside of our enclosure – converted an old washing basket into a second rabbit house, and wa la! We had a rabbit shanty town.

The fence in the middle was mesh. We wanted them to be able to see each other so they could get used to each other again. It was a very simple plan. We did have to make some adjustments to the initial design - Newton dug under the first separating fence and Wellesley escaped again. Murray did the hard yards (my ankle was still moon booted) and dug under the entire enclosure and put mesh down as recommended by Ngaio’s boyfriend Nick, who used to build zoo enclosures. This worked well. We had both bunnies outside, contained in their respective sides of rabbit shanty town. We’ve only had one rabbit escape since then, and that’s because the lawnmower man cut a hole in the mesh with his lawn edger (nice one!)

In the last few weeks I started noticing the bunnies sniffing each other through the fence. Then the other day I noticed them laying out in the sun next to each other. After having a serious clean out of Wellesley’s side, and terrifying the rabbits by giving them each a bit of a brush, we thought we’d try putting them together again.

We hoped Wellesley’s preoccupation with changes to his surroundings might distract him (he likes his grass just so). And Newton was stressed because we’d just terrorised him with a brush, so we thought he’d be less likely to dominate Wellesley. So we put Newton over the fence into Wellesley’s side. There was silence, no stomping. This was the first time this had happened. Both rabbits start stomping to signify danger whenever they even THINK the other rabbit is around. Newton and Wellesley were both so preoccupied with the ‘new’ space, that they didn’t pay much attention to each other at all. I watched them for a full hour, ready to intervene at the hint of any rabbit shenanigans but there were none. I left them to it for a bit. When Wellesley is really distressed he tries to jump up into my arms. I went out and put my arms out to him, he didn’t even look at me. We left them alone together for the night. When I woke up around 6am I peeked out the window and they were snuggled up together on top of the hutch.

At the moment, we haven’t taken down the middle fence. We are giving it time so that Newton’s space can become more neutral before we reintroduce them to it. There have definitely been a couple of dominance kerfuffles, but nothing major and both rabbits seem happy. Newton has started doing his head twitch jumpy move that we haven’t seen him do in ages. And Wellesley is back to playing dad, and cleaning his son. We are so happy to have finally facilitated this successful rabbit rehab.

On getting sick and taking time off work

I hate calling in sick to work. When I worked for bigger companies in the past it wasn’t such a big deal – someone could replace you. But my last two jobs have been for smaller, family businesses (which I prefer) and it usually puts pressure on somewhere if you’re not at work. I know that before I call in sick I need to call all our part time staff (there are two) and check if they can work.Often if they can’t, I will just go into work. And strangely, half the time once I get there I’m ok.

I really struggle to know the difference between take-a-panadol-and-toughen-up sick and you-might-infect-millions-of-people-with-heinous-disease sick. It’s especially important that I know these things because I work directly with food all day. I know that if my skin starts aching, I shouldn’t be at work, but up until that point I find it really hard to tell. Do I think I’m sick because I’m tired? Am I hung over? Is it just because it’s raining? Do I actually just not feel like going to work today? Am I actually sick?

I’m not an idiot. I understand basic first aid and medicine. I know how to check my temperature and glands, and I usually know when I need to see a doctor. But I also have a body that doesn’t act like ‘normal’ bodies do. I suffer from IBS, which can cause severe pain, cramping and often leaves me in a constant state of too much poo, or no poo. I find I need to sleep more than some people (at least eight hours a night), otherwise I get run down and my brain stops functioning. I have these funny glands in my throat that puff up like a frog when I get just the hint of a bug. I also start coughing up blood just if I’ve been coughing a lot. I generally bruise/bleed/scar/rash more easily than most. I also have something wrong with my Eustachian tubes so I have constant post nasal drip and if I vomit it comes out of my mouth and nose (not really a problem, just something to add to the increasing weird and gross list of Hannah). And I could go on (this is a really fun list, I don’t care if I sound like a whiny, hypochondriac bitch!) Although none of these are major, it can make diagnosing a genuine ‘sick’ day a bit tricky.

So today I didn’t go to work. I validated my sick day by having my husband say ‘You look like shit’ this morning and the fact that I knew our part time staff member could cover me. I felt pretty bad about it because I had just had a four day holiday weekend. It doesn’t matter. I now know (at just after finishing time) that I did need today off. I do have a temperature, and an unattractive, hacking cough. All I managed today was catching up on New Zealand’s Next Top Model, and a little online political banter. I did fold some washing, but needed a nap afterwards.Not sick enough to require a trip to the doctors, but definitely not well enough to be at work.

I really hope I'm not feeling sick again tomorrow. And I really hope it isn’t raining…

On having a bach

When I say to people ‘I have a bach’, I feel like I sound like a rich person. Usually people who have bach’s are in a financially stable position. Once you’ve got your house, you’ve paid the mortgage down a bit, you get a boat and then you go ‘I think we might need a bach’. That’s not how our family came to have a bach.

After a couple of robberies in the family home in Longburn road, Henderson, my Grandparents (with help) decided to move out of the big smoke and out to the country. They bought a section in Whakapirau with a little house on it, put some serious gardens in and really enjoyed their retirement. Whakapirau is a very isolated place on one of the many inlets of the Kaipara Harbour.The closest township is Maungaturoto. It takes us just over two hours to drive up there from our place in Pt Chev.

My grandfather passed away from cancer in 2002. With help from Hospice, we nursed him at home in Whakapirau for the last few weeks of his life. All of his children and grandchildren were there when he passed. His gravestone is in the cemetery by the little Anglican church, just up the hill from the house. It is still the newest gravestone there, and it is not like any gravestone you’ve ever seen.

Living there alone was very hard for my Grandma. Although she has good friends in Whakapirau, it is pretty far away from her family. When Grandma decided she needed to move back to Auckland to be closer to us all we understood, but we didn’t want to leave Granddad alone up there.

Ideas of forming a family trust to buy the house from Grandma were discussed and decided on. I saw some pretty fiery outbursts at some of those meetings (mostly my mum). Ideas around financing this meant compromise and a real reality check. Many ideas were floated. Not everyone in our family joined the trust – for some it wasn’t financially viable. It meant collectively paying the mortgage on the house which, although initially purchased for $60,000 was now valued at $300,000. We also had to get bank loans, so that we could renovate – the plan being that we could rent it out over Summer to help pay the mortgage. Major renovations are almost finished now.

I am the only person in my generation in the trust. I only have a half share, but I like to think it helps out. I have paid that share over the last many years regardless of my financial status. I’ve paid it when I was on the unemployment benefit, and paying it meant I had only $15 a week for food. It is (obviously) not something ever disclosed when filling out financial forms. WINZ see it as an ‘Asset’, Banks will see it as something to help solidify a mortgage. It can be neither of these things. My mum earns just over minimum wage, and has never owned a house. But she pays a full share in the family bach. For many in the trust, having the bach is not easy. There are a few who pull the lions share with renovations and work on the property. It's a lot of work. Keeping that house in the family is very important to us all.

For the last three years I’ve worked at least one day on the weekend. And Murray (my husband) has had different days off than I have. This has made it very difficult for us to go up there. Going up for a couple of days this week is the first time we’ve been able to go up and stay there properly in over two years. Logically, it doesn’t seem like much time for the investment made.

But when you’re up there, you read the ‘guest book’ we have up there and it makes you happy. So many people in our family use this bach as an oasis. It’s a halfway house between other places further North. It’s a gap between parties. It’s a rest for a mum from the kids for a bit. It’s a wharau – a temporary resting place. We spent our few days up there watching DVD’s, finding treasures in the old VHS collection like a series of MASH. We played board games. We ate junk food. I cooked fantastic, lengthy meals. We drank wine. We had a spa bath. We visited my Granddad. And we felt like very rich people.

Thoughts on us winning Best New Business 2011

I manage a little allergy foods store called The Gluten Free Grocer. On Wednesday, it won Best New Business at the Bloom Her Businesswoman's Awards in Wellington. When Sarah (my boss) called me with the news I yelled so loud my flatmate thought something was wrong and came to check on me. I know it's an award from a small NZ woman's business magazine, but it is still a major achievement for a little company like ours.

I am extremely proud of this. Our team, excluding part time staff (and Brian, our super delivery man), consists of Mitch and Sarah (the owners) and me. It is an extremely small, niche business. We have no IT department, we have no marketing department, we have no warehouse. There are just three of us who wear many hats. We've all contributed ideas, extra time, love and devotion to this business. We've all had faith in it. And we’ve done this because we see on a daily basis how much a small community needs it.

My last full time position was with a small partnership that turned into a legal nightmare within a month of my starting there. I ended up in mediation to recover money owed to me (which I won). The court battle between partners has just finished now, almost three years later. Being a very honest person, when asked why I left my previous position I told interviewers the truth. This was during the beginning of the recession. After three months of interviewing for positions equivalent to the last, I gave up and worked part time at my local video shop whilst focusing on my artistic practice. When I decided I needed to return to full time work, I knew it had to be for an ethical business. My entire criteria for work changed. It was not about how much I had earned previously, but how I could do a job that actually meant something.

What this achievement has cemented for me is that you can succeed in business without solely focusing on the bottom line. When you invest in your customers through offering help, advice and support, your customers will invest in you. I love my job. Every day I wake up and I know that I might change someone’s life just by sharing information with them, and making them feel like they are not alone. Every day I honour the ethics that were passed on to me from Grandma and Granddad. I honour my great grandmother, who won a QSM for community service. I honour my mother, who works in elderly care for little more than minimum wage. I honour our kiwi heritage of looking after your neighbors, by looking after this community.

I am saddened to watch our current government compromise New Zealand’s ethics. I watch National sell America the right to change our policy just to have a movie made here. I watch them contemplate changing Auckland’s gambling laws for the sake of a convention centre – ignoring all that many South Auckland communities have worked hard for. I watch National begin deep water drilling for oil off the Canterbury basin, with no plan in place for spillage, and watch Mr Key defend our ‘100% Pure’ slogan at the same time. We know it’s all for the sake of ‘the bottom line’.

I have difficulty believing that selling our countries ethics is the only way to reduce our mountainous deficit. I watched this clip the other day, and although they are talking about the US economy, it is very relevant to us here in NZ. It reinforced for me that the current government is not doing the best it can for us.

New Zealand has the 6^th biggest gap between our richest and poorest people. America is number 3, so we are similar in that way as well as our debt. This is not a new thing, but the current government has made changes to taxation which only broadens this gap. They have made these changes during a time of recession and soaring food and petrol prices. These changes do not only affect those in the lowest income brackets (we currently have one in six kiwi kids living under the poverty line) – but also affect the buying power of the middle classes. How can this be good for our nation’s morale or our economy?

Our government need to stop comparing and competing with other countries. I'm tired of hearing things like: 'Our highest earners tax bracket is on par with Australia'. We are not Australia. Our size and geographical location means that we cannot compete to be the cheapest, but we can be the best within our niche. Sarah and Mitch created our award winning business with almost no capital. They focused on the skills of our team and the resources available to them to create a unique environment. We cannot be the cheapest – we are a small, specialty store with minimal buying power in a small, island nation – but we can offer a friendly smile, advice, recipes and support to the community who support us.

Our government need to recognise that our nation is a niche. They need to stop compromising our unique morality we have spent lifetimes building. Instead of oil drilling, we should be focused on creating the best environmental policy in the world. If we really invested in our ‘100% Pure’ slogan, we’d see a flow on effect in our tourism industry. Our government need to start demonstrating some compassion. They need to stop demonising the poor and jobless. They need to acknowledge and unleash the power of our middle class. They need to recognise that you can create something out of nothing through consistency, honesty, patience and persistence.

Winning this award gives me a little glimmer of hope during what feels to me to be a very dark time for our country. I hope that others will see that there are many ways to define success aside from ‘the bottom line’. I hope the government will recognise that compromising our nations ethics does not look good to potential 'customers' or 'investors'. I hope the government will recognise that they need to invest in us. All of us.